clouds of sonder [hiatus]

Hello! My name is V, and welcome to my Home. Please, take your shoes off at the door. As the wise Wiz Khalifa says, “Roll something; smoke something with me!” 

When you first step in my Home, you will be in the Living Room. Here is where we can be meta and discuss whether this blog has been or is representing a Home for me. I created this blog because I needed a place where I can write to my heart’s content. This is a space where I’m able to sit down with a nice cup of coffee, a joint, and always have a place to go, whether it is to process the events of today if I need to, or perhaps create another universe if I feel artistic. If you get lost in navigation, simply click the Floor Plan button on the left menu and it will provide you with a map to help you navigate my Home. Additionally, you can refer back to this post (which will be under the House Tour button) to decide what Room you’d like to be in today. 

Now, without further ado, let me show you around.

My Bedroom is where I will ruminate about my personal life. This is the room where I feel truly empowered to deliberate about the struggles with racism, discrimination, and various obstacles I encounter. This is also where I will celebrate the victories and milestones I achieve after overcoming the obstacles. I will discuss personal issues including but not limited to: cultural barriers of a second generation Chinese-Canadian, the murky future of an undergraduate, and balancing familial, romantic, and platonic relationships with a busy schedule. 

The Bathroom is where I do most of my reflections on events that happen on a daily basis, whether I am sitting on the toilet or boiling myself in the shower. Sometimes, if I feel extra fancy, I’ll soak in the bathtub. Get down and dirty with my angry rants about ignorance and bigotry in this sacred room. 

The Game Room is where I let my creativity run wild. This room’s purpose is simple: for chilling. In here, I have unlimited HP so no matter what I tackle, I will always be able to try a different concept without feeling burnt out. In my world, failure is nonexistent and no idea too idealistic to try. There is always an adventure to be experienced.

The Dining Room is where I discuss current events. Often times, dinner time is when my peers and I debate on topics that may be deemed as controversial. At my dinner table, no topic is off limits but the caveat: I will not hesitate to dismiss you from the table if your language and/or content are discriminatory and defamatory towards anyone. No discrimination is tolerated here. My house, my rules. 

The Garden is where I pontificate the profundities and lessons I learn. Here, I embrace tranquility with  the peaceful sounds of rustling leaves and the sweet hints of floral, mingling with the tang of smoke from my joint. I feel connected with nature, and thus more open and accepting to criticism. You will find my monologues of introspection in my daily life in this room. 

As you can probably tell, I’m a visual presenter. I like my metaphors and my motifs. In all honesty, I structured this blog in the format of a house because I don’t have a place in real life to call my space. It’s not a fancy blog by any means, but it hosts my thoughts and my feelings comfortably. It’s minimalistic, and feels like a place with lots of good vibes. I might do some renovations later, but for now, I’m pretty happy with it. I cannot promise I will stay here forever, but this blog feels like a good place to call Home for a little while.

I hope you enjoyed my House Tour! You are more than welcome to have some coffee or tea and ask me any questions you like. All you need to do is click the Mailbox and shoot me a message. Keep in touch, and don’t be a stranger. Until next time,

It’s been so long since I’ve been properly active on this blog and probably I’m no longer relevant in your life. As you can see, I’ve been taking a longer hiatus than I expected, just because I began to realize how much keeping this blog going was health and time-consuming. 

So why didn’t I make this post sooner? Well, I was hesitating. Deleting this blog is no better than cutting out a piece of me. Because I’ve met so many amazing people here, people who lit up my stormiest day and became more than just readers or writers to me (cough @noir0neko cough @cloudsofsonder cough my bestfriends cough), I just couldn’t leave. And as long as I am still active, I will still feel the need to keep on posting even though I am no longer capable of doing so and balance the life I have outside of this blog. In my opinion, I would rather give you high-quality content than bullshit just to look like I’m active. You deserve so much more than this version of me and I cannot apologize any less for becoming so caught up in the real world. That is why I think it’s only fair if I post an official notice so you can unfollow me if you wish to.

For my new followers, receiving notifications of you following me even though I was no longer active is more than precious to me. I do hope you enjoy whatever is in my masterlist and I’m sorry we won’t get a chance to get to know each other.

For my old followers, holy fuck you’ve stuck with me for so long. I love and appreciate each and every one of you. I will never forget the journey we have together and I hope you will carry them in your heart as well. And remember, if you need some Greek Mythology, glowing penis, sex with a cucumber smut, you know where to find me.

As for me, I will be heading to university soon, in hope to become a Biomedical Engineer (tough shit right). I also fell in love and even though BTS is no longer my number 1 priority, they still hold a dear place in my heart. I will not delete this blog, simply because I can’t watch my babies all disappear from this world without a trace. Maybe we’ll see each other again, but in the mean time you are always welcome to check my masterlist out.

I love you all :) and stay thirsty

Tr.

Happy (belated) birthday Tiger! I hope you like this :) @cloudsofsonder

“Aw come on. It’s your birthday, it’ll be fun.” Kiseok said, standing in your kitchen. “We can even get you buzzed beforehand, it won’t hurt as bad. I promise.” He kept trying to persuade you to get a tattoo with him. So far, you had been declining his offers.

“Kiseok, I swear. I don’t want to get one. I know you get them with Jay all the time but…I don’t think it’d be good for me. I’m kind of a wimp when it comes to that.” You replied, finishing drying the dishes before putting them away.

“That’s the thing. I get them with Jay all the time, so it’s lost it’s appeal when I’m with him. But we’ll be together for this one! And it’s your first one, I definitely want to be there to experience that.” You listened to Kiseok ramble as you grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“You aren’t going to stop unless I get one, are you?” You asked, sighing in defeat. Kiseok shook his head, a small smile forming on his face. Shrugging your shoulders, you nodded. “Fine, let’s go.” The small smile that had formed was now a grin as Kiseok bolted out of the room to grab his jacket and shoes.

At the tattoo parlor, you looked around at all the designs and pictures of other famous people on the wall.

“Jessi comes here…Taeil comes here…Jay and I come here…tons of people come here and they all have great tattoos so trust your artist, okay?” Kiseok said to you as he noticed you browsing the shop. You nod slowly, finding a book to look through the options.

“Kiseok! Nice to see you. What are you getting done today?” The artist said, smiling at you and your boyfriend.

“I’m actually not the one getting something done today. Fresh ink for that one over there.” He nodded to you, who was no longer paying attention. “I’m going to pick the design, so just get her set up, yeah?” The artist nodded, walking over to you and convincing you to come to a separate room with him. Kiseok picked a design that he thought you’d like before going to give it to the artist.

Two hours and a lot of swearing later, you were walking out of the tattoo parlor with a tattoo of a diamond on the back of your neck.

“Like it?” Kiseok asked once you got back into the car. You nodded, thinking back to how you were so against it just a few hours prior. “And we didn’t even need to get you drunk for it!”

“Don’t worry, there’s still a bottle of wine sitting on the counter at home. I think I deserve a drink or two after that experience.”

“In that case, happy birthday baby. I’m proud of you for getting a tattoo, and I’m about to be even more proud because of how much liquor we’ll be going through tonight.” Kiseok said with a laugh that you couldn’t help but return.

“Thank you. I love you, Kiseok.” You said, smiling at him as you turned into the parking lot of your building.

This is dedicated to @cloudsofsonder . Happy birthday!!

It takes a special kind of person to date an idol. They have to be patient, supportive, and understanding. Most importantly though, they have to be willing to sacrifice. Sacrifice physical affection by going weeks without seeing them. Sacrifice their time with them, having to share it with the world. Sacrifice special occasions, such as birthdays. Yes, it truly took a special someone. To Shownu, you were that person. And he was going to miss your birthday, again. 

“I’m sorry,” Shownu breathed into the phone for the hundredth time. 

“It’s okay.” You tried to comfort him, but it appeared that his guilt was too much for him. After three years of dating, Shownu had never managed to make it to your birthday. While it did hurt you initially, you understood he had to work. He was living his dream. Who were you to whine about one missed day? 

“It’s not, and that’s why I’ve made a few arrangements.”

“Arrangements?”

“Yes. Have you ever heard that a persons birthday is actually a week long?”

“A week long?”

“Yeah! So, the whole week leading up to your birthday you will receive something.”

“Hyunwoo-”

He quickly cut you off. “Stop right there. I’ve already made the arrangements. Your first package will arrive tomorrow. Sadly, I won’t be able to talk much.” He paused, “So I wrote notes too.”

“You didn’t have to do that Hyunwoo. I don’t need anything.”

He chuckled. “You’re so selfless. Please Y/N, let me spoil you. For all the missed birthdays and big events I missed. I really wanted to do this for you.”

“Fine, if you must.” You smiled at the sound of his laugh. “But I’m only accepting this because I love you.”

“I love you too. I have to go now, let me know when your first gift arrives.”

“Will do. Goodnight babe.”

“Goodnight sweetheart, and happy birthday.”

then u try to calculate if you can handle that length

and ur not too sure…..

BUT THEN HE PULL OUT DAT LUBE

heyyyyyy wow i know right

“holy god she’s back to post more shitty scenarios!”

yep haha thats me im back but probably not for too long

so listen i feel bad for not posting and i miss you guys so hopefully ill be able to spend some free time writing some stuff but i appreciate the ones who stayed you know who you are

At first, it was caliginosity.

Slowly, the world around you began to show itself.

You sat up as the lamps on the walls of the brick hall began to slowly flicker to life, lighting up the atmosphere in its ominous purple haze. You squinted, slowly pushing yourself off the floor. You could vaguely make out a silhouette at the arched entrance of the hallway, a kneeling figure with its hands clutching its chest.

“Hello?” you called out softly, taking a step towards the shadow. “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

You made your way towards the figure, until you could see who it was.

“Hoseok?”

The figure lifted his head, his orange hair glinting in the violaceous light.

Free me from sin.

He slowly stood up, and held out a hand. Almost immediately, you reached over and took it. His hand was ice in your warm hands, so cold to the point that you began to wonder if he was alive. Hoseok wordlessly led you down another dark hallway, until the two of you came to a large empty room with only three dimly lit lamps on the wall.

Hoseok turned to look at you, taking both of your hands in his.

You were the light of my future.

He released one hand and raised it up, fingertips trailing on your jawline and down your neck.

You sighed, reaching up and capturing his hand in yours, despite the cold. You brought his hand to your lips, when the sleeve of his white shirt slid back, revealing angry red scars that crisscrossed his lower arm. With a soft gasp, you covered your mouth with your hand.

The knife of ambition is poisonous.

I shook hands with the devil.

I thought it would be enough.

You bit your lip, your brows furrowing. “Hoseok, I’m sorry-”

He pressed a finger on your lips.

I was insane, a fool addicted to your love.

This love is just another name for the devil.

Tears threatened to spill as Hoseok took a step back from you, letting his arms drop and fall limply by his sides.

The touch of evil.

Too bad, but it’s too sweet.

The lights within the brick room started to dim once more, the shadows engulfing up the last drop of purity. The world began to spin, as you helplessly watched the boy that gave you his everything get swallowed up into obscurity. Your limbs gave up, making you collapse onto the cold, hard, cement, as your vision blurred.You reached out weakly, praying that he’ll look back, just once more. 

In your haziness, you swore you saw the etching of dark, shadowy wings stretching out behind him

Then, the world disappeared.

Too evil.

shout out to: @tramngo99 @noir0neko for always making me laugh with stupid messages in our gc *cough bajingo*

sending love to @deathbyyoongi for sending me cute snapchats all the time !! and of course thank you for being one of my very first followers and staying even after the whole fiasco with the other blog you rock and i love you very much im so proud of you <3

hearts to @kookie-chu for making me cute edits and helping me de-stress whenever i have too much work !! you rock girlie 

and of course @btsoutfits my adorable wifey thanks for sending me sweet snapchats and always cheering up me bby <3 you rock im glad youre in my life !!

pls dont hate meeee <3

- tiger yes im annoying i know

thank you !! it’s okay, i wasnt expecting anything, im just happy that there are talented creators out there that are participating in this already :) i was just talking to @sugabub the other night and she’s already had some weirdly kinky fantastic ideas for hers, and @taetaetown @deathbyyoongi were both wonderfully supportive of my idea, and that’s more than i could ask for !

please also anticipate @hwangsae and @ragific x @jeongcoups1996 creation; i heard theyre about to put out some bombass stuff with this challenge ;) dont forget to give them lots of support ya

- tiger 

heyyyyyy wow i know right

“holy god she’s back to post more shitty scenarios!”

yep haha thats me im back but probably not for too long

so listen i feel bad for not posting and i miss you guys so hopefully ill be able to spend some free time writing some stuff but i appreciate the ones who stayed you know who you are

At first, it was caliginosity.

Slowly, the world around you began to show itself.

You sat up as the lamps on the walls of the brick hall began to slowly flicker to life, lighting up the atmosphere in its ominous purple haze. You squinted, slowly pushing yourself off the floor. You could vaguely make out a silhouette at the arched entrance of the hallway, a kneeling figure with its hands clutching its chest.

“Hello?” you called out softly, taking a step towards the shadow. “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

You made your way towards the figure, until you could see who it was.

“Hoseok?”

The figure lifted his head, his orange hair glinting in the violaceous light.

Free me from sin.

He slowly stood up, and held out a hand. Almost immediately, you reached over and took it. His hand was ice in your warm hands, so cold to the point that you began to wonder if he was alive. Hoseok wordlessly led you down another dark hallway, until the two of you came to a large empty room with only three dimly lit lamps on the wall.

Hoseok turned to look at you, taking both of your hands in his.

You were the light of my future.

He released one hand and raised it up, fingertips trailing on your jawline and down your neck.

You sighed, reaching up and capturing his hand in yours, despite the cold. You brought his hand to your lips, when the sleeve of his white shirt slid back, revealing angry red scars that crisscrossed his lower arm. With a soft gasp, you covered your mouth with your hand.

The knife of ambition is poisonous.

I shook hands with the devil.

I thought it would be enough.

You bit your lip, your brows furrowing. “Hoseok, I’m sorry-”

He pressed a finger on your lips.

I was insane, a fool addicted to your love.

This love is just another name for the devil.

Tears threatened to spill as Hoseok took a step back from you, letting his arms drop and fall limply by his sides.

The touch of evil.

Too bad, but it’s too sweet.

The lights within the brick room started to dim once more, the shadows engulfing up the last drop of purity. The world began to spin, as you helplessly watched the boy that gave you his everything get swallowed up into obscurity. Your limbs gave up, making you collapse onto the cold, hard, cement, as your vision blurred.You reached out weakly, praying that he’ll look back, just once more. 

In your haziness, you swore you saw the etching of dark, shadowy wings stretching out behind him

Then, the world disappeared.

Too evil.

shout out to: @tramngo99 @noir0neko for always making me laugh with stupid messages in our gc *cough bajingo*

sending love to @deathbyyoongi for sending me cute snapchats all the time !! and of course thank you for being one of my very first followers and staying even after the whole fiasco with the other blog you rock and i love you very much im so proud of you <3

hearts to @kookie-chu for making me cute edits and helping me de-stress whenever i have too much work !! you rock girlie 

and of course @btsoutfits my adorable wifey thanks for sending me sweet snapchats and always cheering up me bby <3 you rock im glad youre in my life !!

pls dont hate meeee <3

- tiger yes im annoying i know

Motivational snapchats from BTS~ sort of

i love you 💘

- tiger