Cloud Appreciation

Do you know what the P in peanut stands for? Pseudo. As in “Bob pecan peanut from his peacock.”

What’s your favorite *crazy* flavor combination? (Laughs) Mine’s chocolate and peanut butter.

Do you know that feeling … like when you see a flock of wild geese but you left your car keys at home … or they call your name at Starbucks but they mispronounce it as “Honda Civic” … when you’re at a concert and they’re plum outta beans.

912 what’s your emerging-sea? Yes? Yes? Around most of Italy? Yes? North of Algeria? Yes. Now sir, does the island after which lesbians are named happen to be located in this sea? Yes, it is? Well sir, we appreciate your call, but we’ve been keeping tabs on the Mediterranean Sea for a couple years at this point. Yes sir. Yes. You have a nice day too sir.

Have you ever considered the possibility that you were hypnotized many years ago and at any moment someone could say the secret word that breaks your trance and you’d lose all your superpowers and go back to being just a normal dog.

*cheerful* I’m absolutely addicted to phonics!

Who’s your role model? Mine? It’s gotta be Kwee Kwog the swamp ghoul. “If you can’t handle me at my Kwee Kwog … you don’t deserve me at my Glurp.” I love that saying.

To quote Alec Baldwin, “You’re a rude, thoughtless little train.”

The last dwarven smith putting the finishing touches on an ornate scepter deep in the bowels of his once thriving underground city, to the hammer with googly eyes that he’s stuck to the end of a broom, “Maybe the real friends was the treasure we made along the way?”

This is my impression of Superman replying to DMs. “Oh, a fan! Yes, I am Superman! Yes, I do have a super large bladder. *sigh* No, I won’t pee on you.”

"Eatin's not cheatin'", I said to the referee as I picked the last of my opponents' gristle from my teeth.

Have you voted … For your favorite flavor of Milka, the Bulgarian chocolate?

You know how lots of kids lost their sense of wonder when they found out Santa Claus wasn’t real? I was in that other group who lost it when they learned that Pikachu didn’t evolve into Fu Manchu.

I’m tired of being stepped on Helen. The government has taken our land Barbara. They’ve sent my sons off to fight a war we don’t believe in Chemily. Fudgin’ heck Pamandromeda even the Church is in danger of being shut down! Sigh But I can still love this country, because where else can a man legally marry four beautiful women. Hachacha awooga

Who’s the hottest Bearenstein bear?

Yo!!! I’ve been reading this awesome book called Hillbilly Elegy. It’s sooo good. Have you heard of this cool musician called P Diddy?

My name is Eric and I’m a chocoholic.