cool guitar man

you know that happened to me once but on the celebrity dating app. i guess a fan got in and i swiped on them and they messaged me. i went you do know i'm the real lauren right and they instantly deactivated. i swear if they have picture with their hunt, a shirtless picture with no face or even their junk as their first picture it's instantly an x. // @cliffcrdsfm

oh nooo did they really? damn, that's harsh. hah, but good for them. this one is like, faking a name and everything but i know it's my pictures because... well i know my pictures. so it's... interesting. god, i know. so many dumb pictures out there aren't there? just like, give me a picture on how well you cook food please. @hottiehillslauren

oh please, you really think anyone can outflirt me alycia? you really don't have much faith in my flirting skills... which would be fine to believe honestly because i suck at it. @alycas

Just have me on speed dial and I've got your back. I'll get my trusty bat. I won't let you go without a fight, Michael, promise. I'll definitely rescue you. You're right, we can't change these rules. || @cliffcrdsfm

oh this makes me feel so much better, thank you. you, the bat and you got my back? i'll never feel unsafe again and can go on any dates i want. will you also protect me if the person breaks my heart? @theresdougiepoynter

people are still catfishing in this day and age? that's kind of wack, though, plus there are so many ways to know if they're real or not -- especially with the verification system that you have to use in order to get that icon. i mean, i don't think you'd be a narcissist for that. / @cliffcrdsfm

yeah they're only using my pictures, not pretending to actually be me. calling themselves 'dave' and i just hope people might see it's me in the pictures... or they won't, i don't know if people really look much at pictures now, yeah? @jvstins

i don't think any of us would blame you for flirting with yourself, ryan, i mean, you're just dreamy. everyone would. i don't know, i tried to chat them up a little but either they're bad at catfishing or i'm not interesting enough because they haven't returned my messages. @rycngcsling

i hope so. i don't know, it might just be some guy thinking he can get away with it because not too many know of me anymore or something. i don't know, but it's hilarious either way. just wish he'd called fake me something other than 'dave'. @austinelvisbutler

i think so too, texting the ex is just a disaster waiting to happen and yet.. it happens too often. to do it like that is easier. that's some good advice from your mama, i might have to think of that when i pick the next one to date... unless me and fake me works out perfectly and i may never have to date again. @mvrgaret

and when they call me something as lame as 'dave'? i mean, please. i do hope people recognize my pictures but, i might never know. from this moment though, i'm ready to see if this 'dave' realises i'm messing with him. we'll see, and i'll promise to keep you all updated. @ddlovatofm

you promise me? because i feel i need to know i have someone protecting me. if we do it a secret agent kind of way, i could have one of those earpieces you use to communicate with me as i try and go through with this date. that would be hilarious too. @babybbellshadid

right! i think it's going to be something... i don't know scandalous, but at least it might amuse me for a few days. it's also funny that he's using the name 'dave' for fake me. i don't know, do i even look like a dave? weird. do you want me to catfish you joe? just say the word, and i will. @jezkeeery

i don't think my story will be as fun as those others on MTV... or i hope not. because that would mean it turns into something absolutely insane and that would be... awkward, to say the least. i kind of wanna chill. @paulsonshq

did you call nev schulman ? because i'm dying to see how this unfolds. you should meet up with fake michael. maybe he's actually your double. you know, someone like those fake elvis' in vegas. or he's your evil twin and you two have been separated at birth. this could go so many ways, please tell me you gave him a superlike, don't let this story die. it's blockbuster material. / @cliffcrdsfm

you know, if this leads somewhere i absolutely will. unless that guy is retired? it's been ages since i watched catfish, i don't know what happens anymore, i stopped when they started adding the wife to everything and made it so cheesy. evil twin no hails, that's a horror story, i want my rom com movie moment or i'm suing. i absolutely did like and seeing what is going to happen with it. @hailsfm

honestly that would be the funniest reality show. celebs going undercover on dating sites and striking up a conversation with whoever is castfishing as them. i would watch the hell out of that, ngl. / @cliffcrdsfm

isn't it? you know what, if i wasn't so ready for tour to be over so i can have some alone time, i'd absolutely swing by netflix with this project idea. or do you have any contacts on hulu? we can make sure that it comes on soon and with the two of us, could be a hit waiting to happen. @kjennerx

right? i don't know why i even downloaded it again but i mean, it's kind of funny now. for some reason it's more fun when you're not really into the person you're writing with and don't have to worry about if they write back or not... hm... unless i'm narcissus and fall for myself, what a weirdo. @mvrgaret

i'm sorry, dude. i handled it wrong and rushed to talk when i should've listened instead. i was worrying about the wrong things and i should've been a sounding board. i didn't mean to invalidate your feelings and or make you feel guilty. forgive me? if you still want the hug, i woud love to give you one. you seemed sad last weekend, how're you feeling now? the band isn't going anywhere, ever. we're stuck together for life. / @cliffcrdsfm

it's okay. i just was, maybe overreacting a little too. i don't know. it's... a sticky situation that isn't the easiest and yeah... i'd love the hug. thank you. i did? hm. yeah. i guess i was. things have just been... uh. i guess i might not have been completely honest about where things have been going and everything feels kinda fucked up right now and i don't handle it very well. and i mean, also i'm homesick. @ashirwinx

——- If you don't flirt with them i will -- we can make this an experiment and a lovely little project . how to handle those catfishing because this would be beautiful . it could make season three of ❛  american vandal ❜  one day ! ( @cliffcrdsfm )

tyler! are you really going to be flirting with my catfish? you know what, it could be hilarious. someone is going to have to make some show about this. tv, movie, i don't know but netflix? we're coming for you if i have anything to say about it. hopefully it doesn't get violent... @sagedtyler

——- Did you now ? i can only imagine how weird that had to be to see , also i think you should flirt and see where it goes . could definitely lead to a really fun story and we all appreciate that , don't we ? ( @cliffcrdsfm )

i mean i am all for a funny story, i just hope i won't like... mess up the pride of some kid or something, like, not in a total mean way. unless i find out they've been absolutely tricking people with this, then fuck them. in the bad way. @madsreneecline