“Clements?”

No answer.

“Clem? Come on…. geez. Kuma! I need some help.” JC staggered a little under the weight of the unconscious Irishman as she gestured to her burly co-worker for help. Between the two of them, it didn’t take much time to get the fainted fellow off of the improvised dancefloor and onto the sofa in the manager’s office. Kuma nodded to JC once they had him settled, and closed the door behind him as he left the others in the office together.

“Don’t be sick, sweetie. Come on. You gotta be okay, please.” She pulled a chair over to the side of the sofa, and took Clements’ hand into her own. “It’s okay, please wake up, I don’t know if I can get you to a hospital by myself.”

It was a good thing Clements was rightfully knocked the hell out because if he saw Kuma in that state he was in, he would’ve sprung up and start running to the hills. He wasn’t ready to face the eyebrow man...not like this. It was far too soon.

Eventually, and fortunately, the irishman slowly came to his senses. The warmth around his hand was the first thing he noticed...then the slight headache, which wasn‘t too bad, but the stomach ache? Killer.

JC staggered a little. This was seriously not supposed to happen. She tried her best to keep Clements from falling to the floor, but it was very awkward. “Geez. Come on, fella,” she muttered, shifting her weight so they didn’t both topple over.

This was a first. Did the guy have low blood pressure or something? He seemed okay before. Nervous, but okay. She wasn’t sure what to do. How long was he gonna be out? Is this normal for him? Should she get him someplace to lie down? “Clements. Clements? Hey? I need you to wake up, buddy. Come on.”

He wasn’t conscious at this point at all, except for when JC tried talking to him...but all that Clements did was stir, groaning a little as he went back to being the big, silent sack of potatoes that he was.

Clements swore, as soon as he wakes up and realizes what has happened he was going to run far far away and never come into contact with civilization ever again. There was no way he could live this down, he’ll have to fly back to Ireland and live with the shame forever.

“There you go,” JC whispered. It felt as though Clements was beginning to relax a bit, finally. He had moved in closer, kind of resting his head on her shoulder, and his arms weren’t as stiff. He had stopped bumping into her feet, too, not that she had really minded the contact from before. But he really must be more calm than he thought, she mused to herself as she felt his hand slip downward from her waist to her hip.

“Careful there, hot stuff. We’re in public,” she laughed, moving his arm back up.

And it dropped back down.

And she became keenly aware of his weight on her shoulder, where his chin was starting to dig in.

“Oh, shit.” He passed out, didn’t he?

It was his hearing that went first, then his balance, and eventually his eyesight too as Clements felt himself falling forward with no means to stop himself. Body not responding for a hot minute he still felt warm...so he wasn’t on the floor, so where was...oh.

Oh.

“Arguably?” Genie Osomatsu yawns and scratches under his arm. “You already got your wish, what with…” he vaguely indicates the can he came from. “But hell; it ain’t gonna change your life.”

“Open up.”

He snaps his fingers, and a waterfall of beer cascades down from above. It lasts for about a minute, then stops as quickly as it started.

Before he could finish, a can of somethingorother bonked him on the head from above. Then another. Looking up, Clements looked his demise right in the eyes.

“This WASN’T MY WI–”

“Arguably?” Genie Osomatsu yawns and scratches under his arm. “You already got your wish, what with…” he vaguely indicates the can he came from. “But hell; it ain’t gonna change your life.”

“Open up.”

He snaps his fingers, and a waterfall of beer cascades down from above. It lasts for about a minute, then stops as quickly as it started.

Before he could finish, a can of somethingorother bonked him on the head from above. Then another. Looking up, Clements looked his demise right in the eyes.

“This WASN’T MY WI--”

JC felt his sweaty hand tighten around her own. He looked scared, real scared, like this was terra incognita to him, but still, that red, teary-eyed face was asking to go on. “If you’re sure,” she said warily, “but if it’s not any fun, we can stop. I don’t want you to blow a gasket out here.” She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile, and patted his shoulder gently.

“Okay. So, let’s get started? This one’s a slow four-four, so it’ll be right for two beats, left for two beats. Kind of, um. Out, together. Out, together.” She tried to demonstrate without letting go, hoping he’d move with her. “Small steps. Nice and easy, yeah? You can do this.”

Was it getting hot in here or was it just Clements? Trick question it had already been him from the start. He hoped his hands weren’t too sweaty but he didn’t worry so much about that in particular, it was...everything was just new to him. Having always dreamed of breaking out of his twenty year old shell and just have fun. With People.

He’s still got a long way to go.

Clements cast his eyes downward. A slow four-four, it was called as he tried copying his partner’s pace. Keeping up wasn’t the problem though as much as his feet kept awkwardly nudging against hers, apologies teetering past his now wobbly lips while still pushing himself to his limit.

“Some poor girl?” Osomatsu paused. “Totoko-chan isn’t just some girl! She’s, she’s…” He trailed off, sitting in her makeup chair as his hands traced vague shapes in the air. Words were failing him. He looked up at Clements.

“You ever just… like, really like someone for so long, that you don’t even pay attention to what they’re really like anymore? They just become this perfect ideal?” He got up and moved a couple of inexplicable fish from the makeup table. “I’m…. I’m worried that’s what happened with me an’ Totoko-chan. So I’m trying to make her more real, yeah? See if she’s worth my undying love and all that.”

“So I wanna see what happens when I steal her unmentionables. Lemme at ‘em.”

Clements froze.

“At that point I wouldn’t bother calling it love anymore.” His back was turned to him, one hand on the doorknob in mid-turn. “She’s already real, Osomatsu. Out there on stage. So when she’s done, just...just talk to her like you’re her friend?” The door was opened. “Communication is important. Going through someones underwear drawer? Illegal, disgusting.”

Clements walked out of the room but just before he closed the door behind him he turned to say one last thing:

Osomatsu focussed on the game a while longer, watching the bonuses flash and the balls bounce into their targets. “… tickets ain’t too far from this, ya know. A win’s a win,” he replied finally, eyes not leaving the machine. “You shoulda told me you were lucky, mister. And if it’s rhythm-based ones you’re good at…,” he paused as a quick run of silver balls dropped down into the basket in front of him, “maybe we can exploit that. This one’s finished, I think. Made back about half again what we put in, which wasn’t that much, but still not bad. But piano, huh? Let’s find you a machine, kid. You’re gonna get lucky tonight.”

“I guess so...” But Clements wanted to win cheaply painted plastic figurines of Genie, not mo....well, he could buy as many cheaply painted plastic Genie figures with money, but where’s the fun in that?

“Wait wait, exploit?” Surely he could’ve used a better word to describe the whole shebang. “Just because I’m irish doesn’t mean I’m lucky, trust me. I would know.” Let’s skip past the emotional trauma and on over to the lesser mind-breaking scenarios like clumsiness, every day-like activities going awry, etc, but multiplied by a million.

“I’m-- I’m not even what you’d consider ‘full on irish’, I grew up in the north so that would mean I’m actually...”

“Awwww, I wasn’t gonna ruin her life, I was just gonna swipe her drawers. And I’ve seen her show, like, seventeen times. As crazy as I am about her, I can only holler ‘Glub glub glub!’ so many times. Let Fappymatsu run the hype squad tonight; I wanna see if she actually wears the lacy ones I bought her for her birthday.”

Osomatsu made a shooing gesture towards Clements. “I thought you’d be in on this, my dude. Adventure, in a slightly sexy vein. Besides, if we’re in and out? She’ll never know we were even here!”

Glub glub glub...?

Well, it was the girl’s shtick. Besides it was better than what most concert-going fans would yell at their beloved idols, not thinking too much on the matter since there was a literally panty thief right in front of him.

“...You honestly thought I would be on board stealing some poor girl’s underwear?” Clements felt...a bit offended, actually. “Is that really how you picture me? I...yeah, no, I’m leaving.”

“That’s what she said,” murmured Osomatsu, as he shifted his focus to the game. He was only vaguely aware of the other man at his back, as he became laser-focused on the game. He twisted the dial a little left, a little right, and watched the trajectory of the little silver balls, trying to get each one to land just so.

Timing was important too… sure, hit the right spots, but get them when the bonus lights up, and you’re rewarded not just with extra balls, but also with a bit of jiggly animation. Surprisingly, Osomatsu wasn’t paying too much attention to that aspect - his goal was to win and win big, after all, and no number of cartoon boobies would distract him from that goal.

If he were more distractible right now, he’d be far more aware of the warmth on his back where the taller man was peering over him to watch the game. But he’s way too focused to notice that kind of thing…

…. right?

He blew out some air out of his nose in response as the other continued to work his magic on the machine, the metallic balls shooting up and into the corresponding areas that would grant the man in front of him, points...at least that’s what Clements assumed.

He was having trouble keeping up.

Osomatsu snorted, laughing. “Yeah, bud, you got it,” he replied, rubbing his nose. “Now, the idea is to drop as many balls as you can into the designated spots. You only get a certain number, so you gotta make sure you aim well and don’t let em shoot too hard! Then when you win, you let the cute lil’ attendant know, and they trade in your silver balls for a slip, that you swap next door for actual cash. The trick is in making sure you get your angle and shoot strength juuuuuuuust right, you know?”

He gave the other guy a pleased look as he fed a bill into the machine. “Now, watch as the master - pfffff, bator, sorry, that’s still funny - the master goes to work.”

With an arm on top of the machine Osomatsu sat down at Clements bent down a little further so he could actually see what he was doing, glasses nearly slipping off the bridge of his nose in the process.

“Reminds me of that one level in Super Mario Sunshine...” The man lamented to himself, pushing his frames back up just before the other slid a bill into the machine.

“No wonder why children are drawn to gambling machines, they’re so bright and colourful and make a lot of noise.” The moving pictures too, although they were a bit...very risque.

“I promise, it’s really not that hard. This sort of thing is more just swaying to the music, right?” She gestured for him to follow, and stepped over onto the area that had been cleared out to make a small dancefloor. There were a few couples out there, already dancing close, but JC was able to find them a clear corner.

She gently took Clements’ hand and placed it on her waist, then held the other one with her own. “Okay, so we start off like this, and my other goes right here on your shoulder, like that, and… hey, you okay? That’s a bit of a funny look you got on your face, bud.” She peered up at him, concerned. “You know, if you really don’t want to, you don’t have to do this.”

Clements took it was a sign as he quickly followed along behind her, before setting down his cup of course as they both made their way to a corner that didn’t have any couples or anything else lingering about...thanking the Gods eterna--

Oh, Oh my gosh, he’s-- he’s holding her waist. For the first time in history our man Clements has now officially laid hands on another human being. Although, he...he looked remarkably flushed along with the nerves practically springing out of his tips.

JC stood quietly for a moment, and just sort of basked in his smile. She sipped at the hot tea, and grinned. It was nice, just sort of hanging out quietly, and she looked over at Clements. He still had a slightly dazed look on his face, and she wondered if maybe she was coming on too strong for him? She had a tendency to do that sometimes…

The music shifted, and the slow Bee Gees song she put on for him began to play. She gave him a glance, and tugged on his sleeve again. “Hey, um. Don’t suppose you’d want to dance, would you?”

Just before the music could fade into what he had requested earlier, Clements absentmindedly sipped at his tea. Albeit not at lot since it was still piping hot, nearly spilling some once he felt something, or someone, tugging on his sleeve.

“Oh! Umm...” For some reason the other seemed somewhat...bashful? Or at least hesitant upon asking him whether or not he was up to dancing, soon carefully setting his cup to the side before coming up with something to say.

“There’s no fun without a lil’ risk. Besides, you’re gonna love this game. It’s better'n pinball, and all you gotta do is twist one little knob! And you know how easy it is to twist yer knob, huh?” Osomatsu gave Clements a leering grin and an elbow to the side, chuckling. “At our age, we’re experts at it, heh heh.”

He quickly scanned the rows of machines, as if he was searching for something. His eyes finally rested on a machine with a bright backdrop of girls in too-small bikinis, draped across classic American cars. “Here we go. This one’s gonna be my lucky baby tonight,” he muttered, almost to himself. “C'mon, Clumbo. Lemme show you how you can score tonight.”

Pinball? The only time he played pinball was way back in the day on his family computer that came pre-installed...boy, that took him back. It was a good enough answer at least that probably would’ve sated the sextuplet’s curiosity if it weren’t for the sentence that soon followed, causing Clements to choke on something one can presume...a laugh?.

“A....A master-bator...” He meekly muttered out between held back chuckles before trying to bring his attention to the actual game they’d be playing, seeing Osomatsu sit himself down at one of the machines to which Clements awkwardly stood beside him.

There goes that smile again!

She couldn’t help but smile back. Seeing that smile spread across his face like the sunrise lighting up the city just made her feel absolutely gooey inside, and she forgot all about her beating herself up over this particular bout of twitterpation. “It’ll need another minute or so to finish steeping, but it does smell nice! It’s a good blend that the boss picks for us.” She handed him the cup, giggling a little as their fingers brushed against each other, and stood beaming for a moment.

Oh yeah. She’s gone.

"I’ll have to thank them, then.” Clements kept his smile, reaching out to take the cup from JC only to have her fingers brush against his own, causing his heart to leap out of the nervous wreck’s chest.

That...felt really nice, actually.

“I wasn’t targeting anything but my beer back, buddy. Your generosity was much appreciated though, heh heh.” Osomatsu rubbed his nose. “But man, it will be worth it once we get in there and start winning.”

He led the way through the door, and his face split into a grin. The lights, noise, and atmosphere of the pachinko parlor filled his senses, and he got even more excited to start. “Hey, Clamato, this is the place where the magic happens. You ready to learn how to play the greatest game you ever enjoyed losing?”

Start winning...alright, like that’s ever happened in Clements’s whole twenty or so years of being alive. Having no choice he dragged along behind the gambling fanatic and into the building, surprisingly bright and colourful as if a child designed it.

At least it looked intriguing?