"Too late; you lose! YOU LOSE!"

Spoiler Alert! I'm doing that right now ;))

I'm currently writing a short sick-fic snippet for an anon. Nothing major happens, Bill shows up late to school, sick as a dog and dripping wet from the rain, while Jerry and Pete have a small back-and-forth about it (Josh isn’t around since he's taking dual credit classes at the nearby college). It’s just a simple little exercise to get more comfortable writing them!!

Here's the opening snippet between Jerry and Pete that I'm rather proud about :))

--

"Where the fuck is Bill?"

"Bidi-bidi-bidi, I don't know Buck; Bill's usually never late."

"Oh, don't screw with me, Jer. Don't you remember that one time when Bill came to school three hours late, all because he dreamt of a Star Trek harem? That bastard was all goo goo eyes, foaming at the mouth, ready to talk our ears off about how much action he and Uhura got, in explicit detail."

"Yeah, well... Can you blame him?"

unrelated to the deer funfact, i can imagine that he'd get a lot of jokes about 'hunting season' and what not.

Ohhhh your deer!dickey has definitely infected my brain anon,,,,

For the 'hunting season' joke, everyone who hates Bill Dickey has used that joke/insult at least once.

Whenever it came to his antlers, I was a bit on the fence. On one hand, I like the idea that perhaps Bill doesn't grow his antlers, and if he does, he's an extremely late bloomer.

While it's not realistic, it does tie into his character being a social outcast, and while the club itself is a boiling pot of toxic waste, perhaps it's something they could've bonded over? Particularly in the club's infancy. Not only did these kids bond over their nerdy interests, but also over their differences.

But I also like the idea that Bill grows and sheds his antlers. The club knows how volatile Bill gets during the first week of regrowing, so much so, they marked it in their calendars and eventually know it by heart not to piss off Bill that week.

Speaking of, does Bill even like his antlers, or does he think they're constantly a nuisance? Whenever they shed, is he embarrassed, or is he thankful that he no longer knocks figures off his shelves or gets stuck in the door while entering Joe's?

due to the braces, bill has to get his wisdom teeth removed early. which is super fun. especially if you have all four wisdom teeth but get each one removed separately with only local anaesthetic. (<- i do not know why that was how they did it for me. i know nobody else who had to deal with that. but i am willing to force bill to endure the same. he deserves it <3)

Hey, I remember getting my wisdom teeth removed too, before I got braces. But damn! Each one removed separately, with ONLY local anesthesia?...

IT'S COMPLETELY VALID THAT YOU WANT BILL TO GO THROUGH THE SAME TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS.

For me, I had the whole package: I got prescribed Halcion, got laughing gas, and local anesthesia. Funnily enough, the most woozy I have ever been was BEFORE the surgery, not during nor after, as I was practically back to normal on the car ride home.

In fact, looking back, I guess my actions were comparable to Bill Dickey's... sadly. I remember getting into a playful argument with one of my friends through text before knocking out, and despite my condition, I demanded to go to the movies the day after.

I have never eaten a slushie so pathetically without a straw in my life before.

I always pictured Bill being a woodwind; however, if he were a brass, I can see him with the trumpet. Trombone, he would constantly hit people with the slide, and he can't even support a tuba without worsening his already horrible posture.

The flute and the piccolo were already out of the question, as he claimed them to be girly instruments. Perhaps the saxophone was his first choice, but there were no spots left. So, all that was left was the oboe and clarinet, and he went with the clarinet.

jerry is a rabbit (not as much vibes based. bunnies have a reputation for being docile and meek animals. they are not. they are brats and have a lot of audacity for creatures of their size. similarly, jerry may be the most palatable of the club, but he's also still very much a part of the club.)

josh is a cat. specifically. angry street cat that will claw at you when you try to pet it, while also simultaneously hissing and purring. defensive and always on edge, but does want affirmation and positive interactions, even if he keeps rejecting them out of instinct.

pete. is a dog. no explanation, i just think he has dog vibes.

Oh shit! I never thought of the Eltingville Club as animals!

For Bill, I can see where you're getting deer from, as he does give off 'deer-like' vibes. While he might not be as graceful as a deer, he does have large ears and giant, brown doe-like eyes to match. Additionally, one way a deer showcases dominance is by sparring with its antlers; essentially, "butting heads" with others.

Sound familiar?

You can also draw from the poetic cruelty that is the phrase: "deer in the headlights". In some situations, Bill has been the deer, paralyzed and unable to act, yet he has also been the car, as his own reckless actions brought about the end of his friends. (And of the Eltingville Club itself.)

Josh's definitely an on-edge street cat who yearns for affection but doesn't know how to react to it. Whenever I first started reading the comic, I didn't like Josh's character, nor did I feel for him. However, as I kept reading, I found myself pitying him more and more as the chapters continued. Yes, he's a shitty person who has done shitty things, but he's genuinely passionate about his hobbies and interests. So, just like a cat, he craves attention; however, he's constantly on guard, ready to defend himself by hissing, spitting, or clawing, no matter the situation.

Heavily agree with Jerry! Even though he was the meekest, yet healthiest, member, and the only one to eventually leave the club for good and turn his life around, he still played a role in the group's actions. In addition, rabbits thump their foot to communicate strong emotions, and in a way, Jerry finally put "his foot down" for good in the epilogue.

As for Pete, while I agree he's reminiscent of a dog (he's all bark and bite!), he also gives me bat vibes. Yes, of course, the main reason is to connect back to his love of horror, but it's ironic that by having wings, bats can fly anywhere, and yet Pete stays put. After a whole decade, he remained the same, or perhaps worse. Yeah, definitely worse.

P.S. after seeing "Deer Bill Dickey" in my inbox, I couldn't stop thinking about it. So here. take a quick little edit of Pilot Deer Dickey LMAO

I'm going to be away from my phone for six hours! In the meantime, can everyone just destroy, absolutely obliterate my inbox with asks/scenarios/headcanons/etc revolving around the Eltingville Club?

I literally cannot stop thinking about those losers <\3

The dumbest thing Bill's braces got caught in, no doubt Josh's jacket, in the middle of a cramped toy aisle.

It would've taken them two minutes to unhook the thin piece of fabric from Bill's bracket without any casualties, but neither boy had the time nor patience. (That and Josh could've taken off his jacket, but shhh..)

In the end, Bill retained a couple of bruises due to Josh thrashing him against the metal shelves, trying to get him off.

If Bill were to get braces, he would've absolutely HATED it. So much so that a week before his first orthodontist appointment, he'd be scouring the web for any article, online form, or video, to fix his bite/crooked teeth, no matter how dangerous or outlandish they might be. To nobody's surprise, he fails miserably.

After a week of failed attempts, the dreaded day eventually arrives, and Bill begrudgingly accepts his defeat. Despite arguing with the entire dental staff, he sits his ass down in the chair and after an excruciating four hours, he finally has braces. But hey! At least he managed to watch Wrath of Khan twice in the process and got to choose the band's colors. He'd either pick orange, clear, or something relating to his interests (i.e., black and yellow for Batman, red and blue for Superman).

Following the first couple of days, William Alan Dickey is in hell. From stray wires scratching his inner cheeks, overall soreness, copious amounts of saliva, to his shitty, unforgivable diet of mashed potatoes and oatmeal, he hated every second of it. And the cherry on top of this shitshow of a sundae was that he had to relearn how to speak properly without lisping or spewing spit everywhere.

Of course, he gets used to them as time goes on, but there's always going to be a little part of him that's still self-conscious about them. Mostly over the fact that his smile's now lopsided.

Or he'd be stupid about it and refuse to say shit because he is allergic to showing any sort of vulnerability. So he's just even more of an asshole and nobody can figure out why. And if anyone picks up on the fact that his dumbass is sick, he doubles down on the denial. If you somehow bully him into resting? Immediate switch to whiny and pathetic.

Either way he's annoying while sick and you end up wanting to throw him out of a window for being a stubborn asshole.

See, that's how I envision it too!

Obviously, of all the members, Jerry would be the most 'normal' whenever he's sick, as he would protect himself and others (distance himself, wear a mask, etc.). If he feels too ill to attend a meeting, then he simply wouldn't go. But alas, he would show up regardless due to the club's (Bill's) beck and call. Pete doesn't give a single fuck about being sick, and 99% of the time, he powers through it; you think a little bit of phlegm is going to stop him, ha, good luck, buddy. He has seen worse things than a scratchy throat, running nose, and pink eye in '80s b-horror films ALONE.

As for Josh, I think he would lean more towards the pathetic side. He'd complain about not wanting to leave the comforts of his room, more particularly his bed. Either you bring the club to his doorstep, through videocall or quite literally, or he's not attending. At all. Which, honestly, I think Bill would be rather pleased about this outcome.

Even if he DOES attend, he believes he shouldn't lift one of his grubby little fingers or raise his voice, for that matter. He has to conserve energy after all, he wants to get over this illness before the theatre shows Return of the Jedi.

Now, for Bill, he's 50/50. I love the idea that he's just an insufferable bastard whenever he's sick, and it's an unspoken rule amongst his 'friends' to never bring it up, as it's just going to make matters a fuck ton worse. "Oh, just because I'm sick, you thought we weren't going to have a meeting? Better yet, you thought someone was going to temporarily step in for the President's position? Nice try, jackass!"

Perhaps he'd even use his running nose and occasional sneeze for pity points. Maybe each of the other members has to scramble and bring him a gift before their next meeting? Oh, and it BETTER be a good one. If you get him nothing, or better yet, something worthless in his eyes, he equates it to you wishing death upon him.

However, deep down, I believe that perhaps one of the reasons why he's whiny and childish whenever he's sick is that he yearns for the feeling of being comforted(?) Sure, he puts up this front of being a stubborn asshole, denying that he's ever sick; meanwhile, he's running a 101 fever, but do you know how long it's been since his mother, or perhaps both parents, took care of him?