Narcissa Malfoy.

In all honestly Narcissa wasn’t sure what she hoped for. Yes, they had tried for so long to have a child. Years. But for the past few months, it had been the furthest thing from her mind. First she loathed him, then they disliked each other, then they had finally made up with drunken, foolish sex. Of course it would be their luck for drunken, foolish sex to get the into this mess when they couldn’t possibly raise a child now. Right now.

He supposed he knew today would come, his son and daughter-in-law coming to pick up the dog they had left with him during their bout of anger and frustration. It was good, splendid even, that they had repaired what they could, enough to allow his son to pick up the dog whose name had once sent him into a fit of sobs. 

Abraxas had not seen his son react in such a way since his mother. He had not expected it, nor had he truly known how to react to it. Taking in the dog was all he could do. And, if he were to admit it so some small part of himself, he would miss the bugger. 

The older Malfoy wrenched open the door and studied the couple on his doorstep. Narcissa looked pale, tired, Lucius even more so. His son fidgeted, fingers an anxious staccato on the head of his cane. He arched a brow, a clear question stamped across the lines of his face, the hardness in his eyes thawing for just a moment as he nodded at the young woman. 

“Come in, both of you. Your beast can come soon enough. As for the moment, I suggest you sit, Narcissa.” It was not an order, not truly, but the context was there, plain enough. 

“You aren’t allowed to be ill,” Lucius shuddered at the word. Years of health problems of his own and having lost his mother to dragon pox left him despising any sort of reference to being sick. They hadn’t gone through two months of being at each other’s throats just to have it end with her falling ill. “I refuse to let you be – That’s my job.”

Lucius tensed once the door opened, his grip around Narcissa’s hand tightening once his father appeared. He tried to stand straighter just to end up fidgeting when he caught his father’s gaze. Lying and acting as though everything was fine was fairly easy – At least until his father was involved.

“Thank you, father,” He breathed out once Abraxas finished talking. His voice was a lot quieter than he expected. “I can get a chair for her once we are in.” Lucius stepped to the side once he finished speaking to allow Narcissa to enter first. He gave her hand a reluctant squeeze before letting go of it.

The sudden movement was, as it turned out, a poor choice for the young woman and made her more light headed. Abraxas’s request was met with pursed lips. “Really, you’re both being ridiculous, I’m perfectly capable of standing,“ she muttered with a roll of her eyes.

She missed Lucius’s hand almost immediately after he let go. Even after all he’d done to them, he was still her safe harbour. It was easier to remain calm and brave with his fingers wrapped around hers. Going into Abraxas’s house still felt somewhat daunting, especially when she knew that he looked at least a little disappointed in the both of them.

With all of the icy coolness of the best pureblood matriarch, Narcissa greeted Severus.  He stood straight, a forced attempt at falling into the pleasantries that Abraxas seemed intent on shoving down his throat.  For once he was glad he knew the proper way to behave in a social situation.  He supposed that might be the only way he would get out of this conversation unscathed.  

“I didn’t quite realize we were on such proper terms, Mrs. Malfoy.”  Severus let Narcissa’s last name hang in the air for a moment.  It was a risky move, knowing her current attitude, but Severus had come to the manor to prove a point.  As insufferable as Lucius was and as needy as Narcissa was, the two of them needed each other.  They made each other better, and Severus was determined to remind the two of them of it.  

“My apologies for not warning you of my arrival.  I stopped by rather impulsively, my presence obviously needed.”  Their conversation felt forced, uncomfortable.  Narcissa still stood, partially shrowded by the shadows in the hallway.  Severus understood Narcissa’s frustration, but he had his own annoyances with the witch.  Lately, the only time she had deigned to see him was when she needed a potion from him.  He had become her dealer, no longer a friend or companion.  These pretenses only highlighted the stilted manner in which their relationship now existed.  

Watching, she bit back what would be a cruel chuckle as she watched him try to imitate the pleasantries and posture of a pureblood gentleman. She'd never looked down on Severus for his lack of good breeding. All the Malfoy's liked him well enough to overlook it. But watching him now, in anger, try to put on this facade in an attempt to placate her - she almost wanted to mock him for it. "I fear that given what I suspect is the reason for your visit, I would prefer an attempt at propriety... that is if you can manage it. I know it's rather difficult to get correct when learned so late in life." She could not resist just one jibe when he said her last name like that. It was as though he was trying to anger her with it.

“Needed?” She raised an eyebrow. “Forgive me, I wasn’t aware that we required your assistance, Snape. We certainly didn’t ask for it, I’m not sure I can agree that we need it.” If Lucius wanted to wallow in self-pity and neglect his duties that was surely his own business. She did not see why he required Severus’s help when the man had not come and given it to her. When it was her who had been wronged. Her who had been heart broken. Everyone saw her as delicate, fragile, and yet when she actually got hurt it felt as though everyone other than Sera was rushing to her husband’s side. It hurt especially coming from Severus.

It was the way he kept saying her last name. As if dragging it out and reminding her she was a Malfoy. He needn’t have bothered. She was already all to aware of it. So she laced her arm through his with a cold sneer on her face. Perfect nails resting on the sleeve of his coat, like talons ready to dig in and skewer her prey at any moment. With her other hand she twirled the overly fragile rose between her fingers as she led him to the gardens.

Lucius’ fingers tapped against the top of his cane while he stood outside his father’s house. He and Narcissa had set a date to retrieve their dog and the plans had almost been set on hold. His wife was ill, showing symptoms of morning sickness, and Lucius was trying his best not to freak out about it. The timing was awful and he was seriously hoping it was just a cold or something, but a week had passed and Narcissa hadn’t kept her breakfast down from that morning.

The two stood outside of his father’s house, Lucius unable to bring himself to grabbing the knocker and announcing their arrival. The anxious feelings that stuck around for most of his and Narcissa’s fight still hadn’t fully disappeared. Everything seemed worse now that he and Cissa were aware of the fact that she could be pregnant. He took a breath and went to raise the hand that wasn’t toying with his cane, choosing to glance down at Narcissa before he followed through with the action.

“Your fidgeting is only going to make him assume something is wrong,” Lucius muttered. “Are you certain today is a good day to get the dog back?”

In all honestly Narcissa wasn’t sure what she hoped for. Yes, they had tried for so long to have a child. Years. But for the past few months, it had been the furthest thing from her mind. First she loathed him, then they disliked each other, then they had finally made up with drunken, foolish sex. Of course it would be their luck and drunken, foolish sex to get the into this mess when they couldn’t possibly raise a child now. Right now.

Mafloy Manor

Immediately after meeting with Lucius

@cissa–malfoy

Severus nudged aside a spare fragment of wood with his foot.  He had mostly reassembled the door after blasting it apart from it’s hinges, but he purposefully left a bit of debris and dents in the wood of the door.  He wanted Lucius to look at that damn thing every morning when he woke up and realize he was being a complete idiot about everything.

It didn’t make sense to Severus what the two of them were doing, bickering without actually talking to each other.  Anyone could see the two of them were miserable, but they were too stubborn to realize they weren’t good without each other.  Lucius assumed Narcissa needed space to work through her issues, so he had locked himself in his study.  All of his distance and secrecy only emphasized Narcissa’s loneliness and feelings of betrayal.  

And as much as he liked his mate, Severus could see Lucius had made a horrible, terrible mistake.  He had been careless, thoughtless, and stupid.  To go after some trash when he had his treasure at home… Severus would never understand how someone with excess in all areas of life could still be in want of more.  

Their conversation did little to put Severus at ease.  Lucius seemed content to wallow in his own guilt, doing little to actually correct the situation.  It was exhausting, talking with Lucius sometimes.  He was so driven by his momentary emotions that Sev could do little to make Lucius see past the fog of shame that seemed to color his general demeanor.  

One of the house elves approached, and Sev attempted to make himself as authoritative as possible.  “Make sure that you feed him three times a day.  Don’t argue with me, elf.  Force feed him if you have to.”  The elf nodded hurriedly and bowed in acknowledgement.  “And please, if you have to knock him out and drag him to the bathroom, make sure he bathes.”  The elf nodded once more and scurried off into the shadows of the house.  Severus sighed, turning to leave himself when movement in the shadow of the hallway caught his eye.

Severus suppressed a small gasp, the air seeming to catch in his throat.  He tried to mask it with a cough rather unsuccessfully.  The figure moved forward and Severus fidgeted awkwardly with the cuffs of his sleeves.  Narcissa stood, clearly upset and looking rather imposing.  For perhaps the first time, Severus began to see the family resemblance she held to her older sister. 

Not immediately of course. There was still time to enjoy the sunny gardens before facing another betrayal which she had simply not expected. Sat amongst her ever growing Rose Garden. Conveniently placed very far away from the anniversary Aviary she’d had built for Lucius. She’d not been in their since she came home. It wasnt like she’d ever liked the peacocks anyway.

So, after this relatively pleasant beginning to the day Narcissa managed to make her way back into the house, twiddling a rose from the garden between her fingers. Pressing curiously at the thorns which were certainly hard enough to prick the skin id you pressed hard enough. The blonde was so absentmindedly distracted by her rose that she didn’t even notice the lack of elf coming to greet her at the back door. Asking to take her hat, or if she wanted the rose in a vase. She didn’t notice any of this till she heard his voice.

It was obviously not a difficult voice to recognise. She saw Snape so often. She’d seen him more before her marital troubles began. But she still saw him plenty. Seeking his aid with certain things. Still considering him a friend. It was very unexpected then, to hear him giving orders to her house elf. To see him outside her husband’s study. To realise that he had spoken to him. To think that he had perhaps finally chosen a side, and that it wasn’t hers.

All of this was indeed sticking enough that Narcissa’s trip tightened unexpectedly around the stem of her rose. The thorns sticking her hand and causing her to wince, but not release it. Gritting her teeth, she managed to pull together a smile.

“Mr Snape,” Narcissa greeted with a cool sneer. Eyeing the door behind him where she knew her husband was holed up. Avoiding her and her anger and mood swings. “A pleasure to receive you. I do wish you had sent word though.”

It was of course possible that he had sent word of his visit. Just that it had gone to her husband instead of her. It just hurt Narcissa rather deeply to think that Severus, who she had always thought neutral in this. And rational of thought. Would side with her husband. Her cheating disgrace of a husband. She bit her lip as she fought not to snap at him on feeling that. She needed him after all. He was an excellent source of potions and the like.

 "Oh please," Narcissa scoffed, "as if you wouldn't have taken a lover too." He'd started all this after all. If their marriage was truly that damaged why wouldn't he have taken a mistress to have children with. And he still had the power to walk away from her with very little of the blame And marry again much more easily than she would. "Everyone knew anyway! I know you told people what you did, and gossip spreads! And you want to talk about being humiliated, all of our friends saw my husband punch me in the face!" She huffed, plucking at the bedsheet to distract herself from this entire thing. His words cut deep, because there was no sense to the whole thing. Common or otherwise. When she spoke again, her time was calmer though. "I- I don't expect forgiveness because I was drunk... and it took me a while but I- I am forgiving you, Lucius. Even if you- you had the 'sense' to sleep with a barmaid I don't know... though I'm sure she's known to a great many of your work and drinking friends." 

He bit into his lip when she started, body tensing at her tone. He should have just kept his mouth shut and allowed her to do the talking. “You could have kept to the not sleeping in the same room and taken someone more worthy in in secret – Keeping the facade that everything was fine when we were in public. Continued with the way we were on my birthday. All the snapping and barely looking at me.” He got quiet for a moment, his shoulders shaking while he forced himself to take a few steadying breaths. “I sound ridiculous but I – I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if you had decided to never talk to me again. Your words just… They stick around in my head and I can’t stop worrying about them. Empty threats or not, you can’t - You need to watch what you say.”

“What kind of life would that have been for any of us? If I had picked a better- if i had picked another man. Had children with him… they would have had your name. Because otherwise what kind of future would wait for them?” Narcissa sighed, dragging a hand through her hair. Meeting his gaze, she but her lip. Hesitating before the next words came out. "I- looking at you made me angry, so I snapped. A lot. And my words hurt but your- your actions hurt, Lucius! They hurt both of us. Everyone knows what you did, and they blame me! Everyone blames me for your straying and I- that made me last out more, so yes, I'm sorry but you- you deserved it!" She let out a breath, not having really meant to say any of that. It all came out in a rush like flood gates she couldn't stop.

PLACE IN SOCIETY

financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty.

medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged.

class or caste: upper / middle / working / slave / unsure.

education: qualified / unqualified / studying.

criminal record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes  / no.

FAMILY

married - happily / married - unhappily / engaged or betrothed / partnered / single / divorced / separated.

has a child or children  / has no children / wants children.  

close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased.

orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s).

TRAITS + TENDENCIES

extroverted / introverted / in between.

disorganized / organized / in between.

close minded / open-minded  / in between.

calm / anxious / in between.

disagreeable / agreeable / in between.

cautious / reckless / in between

patient / impatient / in between.

outspoken / reserved / in between.

leader / follower / in between.

empathetic / unemphatic / in between.

optimistic / pessimistic / in between.

traditional / modern / in between.

hard-working / lazy / in between.

cultured / un-cultured / in between / unknown.

loyal / disloyal / unknown.

faithful / unfaithful / unknown.

BELIEFS:

monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic

belief in ghosts or spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

belief in an afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

belief in reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

belief in aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care.

religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious.

philosophical: yes / no.

OPINIONS

pro-suicide / anti-suicide / doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-euthanasia / anti-euthanasia / doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-choice / anti-abortion / doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-marriage / anti-marriage / doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-death penalty / anti-death penalty / doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-drug legislation / anti-drug legislation / doesn’t care or on the fence.

pro-murder / anti-murder / doesn’t know or on the fence.

pro-cannibalism / anti-cannibalism / doesn’t know or on the fence.

left wing / right wing / middle / doesn’t know or on the fence.

SEXUALITY + ROMANTIC INCLINATION

heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual / questioning.

sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable.

romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable.

sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious.

potential sexual partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all.

potential romantic partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all.

ABILITIES

combat skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

literacy skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

artistic skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

technical skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

HABITS

drinking alcohol: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

smoking: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

other narcotics: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

medicinal drugs: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

indulgent food: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

splurge spending: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

Lucius closed his eyes when she spoke, biting down on his lower lip to keep quiet until she got her thought out. “Of course I do,” He sighed, his hand stilling when she shook her head. “I ruined us, ruined everything.” He chanced a glance at her and swallowed back the uneasy feeling that was rising in his stomach. “You will always be enough for me.” He sighed and brushed his lips against her forehead. “That’s a promise.”

Yeah, she thought grimly. He’d promised that before. But she did’t voice it for the first time in a while. Instead she nodded and let the momebt pass. Worked on believing that he really did think she was enough. That he'd alwayd thought that, even when he'd strayed and flirted elsewhere. 

Send me a “♥ + a Url” my muse will have to answer about their:

Relationship Status: 

Feelings toward them:

Fantasies about them:

Trait they like:

Trait they dislike:

Favorite thing to do to bug them:

Favorite thing to do to cheer them up:

Nightmare they had involving them:

Dream they had involving them: 

He released a shaky breath and bit his lower lip. Getting his thoughts out in full was always a challenge, Lucius left fearing she would hate him after the way their past conversations ended. He never really learned the best way to channel his feelings so letting everything out at once wasn’t uncommon for him. “I hate what I did to you,” He sighed after a prolonged silence, the void filled by his taking a few shallow breaths and bringing a hand back to playing with her hair. “And I should have said something sooner but I – I couldn’t.”

“Do you even know what you did to me?” She murmured softly, eyebrows knitting together. It was easier to relax when he played with his hair. But for a moment it wasn’t and she shook her head. “Do you know how much it’s still eating me inside to know my husband - however occasionally - prefers other women?” 

The patterns he was creating on her back came to a stop when Narcissa next spoke, Lucius blinking a few times when she said she accepted his apology. “Oh, thank Merlin,” He could have cried. He pressed his teeth into his lip to keep it from quivering, having spent more time crying the past couple of weeks than he liked to admit. “She’s my cousin and it was my birthday,” Lucius couldn’t bring his voice above a whisper. “I didn’t expect you to get me anything and I wouldn’t have been surprised if you felt the need to get even, but you – You had to kiss someone I’m related to.” He bit down on his lip, needing a moment before he could say anything else. “You weren’t even home for twenty four hours and trying to approach you in the time leading up to that ended with you storming off or yelling at me… or both.” He took a deep breath after that, not wanting to give away just how much catching her and Sera had hurt. The thought of the two being left alone together still made him uneasy. It didn’t matter how many times Narcissa swore nothing would come out of it. “You don’t plan on doing it again, right?”

“I know she’s your cousin,” Narcissa said back, still in a hushed tone. “But she’s my best friend. And she was- she didn’t blame me for what you’d done. She knew how I felt.” She wasn’t trying to justify it. No more than Lucius had tried to justify his actions. She was just reasoning them out to him. Perhaos in the hope of lessening his disdain fkr her and her choices. Sera was still her best friend, afterall. It would be nice to still spend time with her. “No, Salazar, no Lucius. It didn’t- I was just- would you do it again?”

“Not even marrying you,” Lucius let out a soft chuckle. It felt awkward leaving his lips, but he tried not to show it. “I did.” He had hurt her with one poor decision and was certain he had done more damage than she lead on. “I shouldn’t have and I regret having done so. Please accept that much as an apology.” He was back to feeling uncertain, unable to properly voice his thoughts. “I deserved the yelling,” He sighed, knowing she couldn’t help it most days. “But I wasn’t the one to make you kiss my cousin.”

He chuckled and that made her smile though the expression did not quite reach her eyes. Not like when she’d been laughing before. Before he suggested talking about what had passed like it was a good idea. “I know you regret it- And I- I accept your apology.” Finally. It had taken her long enough. Originally she’d wanted nothing to do with his apologies. She swallowed thickly when he brought up the kiss with Sera. “I never meant to kiss her, you know? It’s just- we were just- I wanted to feel wanted.” She breathed out tearfully, raising a hand to her eye because she absolutely refused to cry on him. “You were- you were avoiding me and she wasn’t. She’s my best friend, and she wanted me, and I was drunk and I’m- I’m so sorry, Lucius.”

"I don’t. I would never regret anything with you,” He murmured and wrapped his arms around her. The fact that she had to ask made his chest hurt. “And I never meant to –” He paused to take a deep breath, tracing circles along her back. “Never meant to ruin what we had.” The disagreements were all his fault and he wouldn’t be able to erase whatever doubts she had in her mind anytime soon. That was the biggest thing he regretted, but he dared not say it. “I missed you too much to regret last night Cissa,” He sighed. “You had me thinking I was going to lose you forever.”

“Not even marrying me?” she joked half-heartedly, giving a little bit of a sniffle as she leant back into his touch. The trail of his fingers along her bare back soothing her nerves. “You didn’t- Not- You shouldn’t have slept with her, but that-- I--” she hesitated to say she overreacted. Because she still believed that she hadn’t overreacted to that. But the shouting at him at every turn. The kissing his cousin. That had been a touch too far. “You’ll never lose me. I would never- I won’t really leave but I- I-” she kept stammering. She didn’t know why. Words just weren’t coming easily to her this morning. “I’m sorry about all the shouting.”

Her laughter brought a smile his lips, a few chuckles escaping from him before he spoke. “Maybe I’ll make it so I have less to do, then,” He sighed. It wasn’t as though he needed to work anyway, but that was besides the point. Lucius believed himself to be exceptionally smarter than his coworkers and the higher ups in the Ministry. Talking with them always left him questioning why he was wasting his time there.

“What?” Narcissa said, looking back at him in surprise. He’d never mentioned that to her before. She wasn’t actually sure how she felt about the fact that Lucius had previously discussed their bedroom life with his father. Her heart sunk when he said he didn’t remember getting her in the bedroom, and she looked away again, letting out a small breath of air. “O-oh.” Admittedly, she’d been very drunk as well, but she knew what she’d done. She remembered suggesting they move things back to their bedroom. To find out he didn’t even remember that... “Do you-- do you regret last night, then?”