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After all these years, something finally happened one morning: the day I had been looking forward to getting through. This date marks the moment I successfully defended my dissertation. MasyaAllah, Alhamdulillah.

Right after that, I couldn’t help but recall everything I had been through during my PhD journey—from exhausting experimental work which needs a lot of manpower, doing countless nights of simulations and data processing until my charger and socket were scorched of nonstop work, to seeking help from experts to consulting my models—until one careless moment, I accidentally bumped into my monitor, causing it to fall and crack.

I also joined a six-month exchange program in Japan and had many in-depth discussions with my host supervisor to gain insightful feedback that strengthened my research. This meant being separated from my family and facing deep emotional challenges, yet I still tried my best to embrace and appreciate every moment.

Completing my PhD in 3.5 years truly felt enough for me. I cannot imagine how stressful it would have been if I had to keep battling with my dissertation any longer. Looking back, I still clearly remember the times when I doubted my research. I questioned whether it was good enough and whether I could really make it. But I am deeply grateful to have my husband by my side. He supports and believes in me every single day, even when I’m not sure of myself. I honestly couldn’t have come this far without him.

It was a long and tough journey, but it taught me how to sit with discomfort—from confusion and stress to rejection—while slowly realizing that the knowledge gained and personal growth along the way make every effort worthwhile.

Through it all, at last… you can call me Dr now.

おつかれさまでした !

Kumamoto, Japan.

(c) Cintantya B Casita

That moment when your professor starts calling you ‘Sensei’ instead of ‘San’ like he used to :)

Heard about yesterday’s earthquake, so I reached out on him today to see if he, his family, and everyone else were okay. So relieved to know that they are safe after the earthquake. Hope things return to normal soon!

Then a random Japanese guy approached me and said, “I can speak English. I’m not from Tokyo, so I don’t know this station very well either. But let me help you ask an officer. Let’s find one first.”

Siapapun kalian, di manapun kalian berada saat ini, semoga selalu ringan berpikir. Tidak terlalu ruwet otaknya. Dan tidak terlalu banyak buang energi mencari-cari yang tidak ada.

Hari ini senang sekaligus haru, sebab pasukan terakhir dari pejuang Trio Disertasi Struktur berhasil melaksanakan sidang tertutupnya.

Masih lekat dalam memori, bagaimana kami memulai, merangkak terseok-seok, hingga akhirnya tiba digaris akhir. Meski kami bertiga tidak tiba diwaktu yg sama, tapi doa dan dukungan tak henti mengiringi satu sama lain.

InsyaAllah ilmu yang didapat mampu menjadi berkah bagi sesama, mendatangkan pahala jariyah, serta membentuk pribadi yang lebih membumi.

So glad that we all finally earned the title we’ve been fighting for: a Doctor of Structural Engineering.

Currently drowning in this book.

“Nak, semua ini milik Allah. Semua makhluk yg awalnya hidup, akhirnya akan mati juga. Kamu kan sudah berusaha merawatnya setiap hari, pula memastikan ia mendapat cahaya matahari yg cukup. Namun jika akhirnya mati, berarti memang sudah waktunya tanaman itu utk mati, dan ia akan kembali ke Allah. Semuanya itu bukan milik kita, sama halnya tanaman itu. Ia hanya dititipkan ke kita utk dirawat. Belajar ikhlas ya, Nak. Nanti kita coba tanam lagi dg benih yg lain,” ujarku sambil memeluk.

“Iya,” jawabnya.

Mengerjakan disertasi menggunakan bahasa inggris membuatku selalu memaksa diri untuk terus berpikir, menulis, membaca, menggali konsep materi dari video pembelajaran, dan mempresentasikannya dalam konferensi internasional —semuanya menggunakan bahasa tersebut selama kurang-lebih tujuh semester. Merasa perlu memperkaya kosakata, lantas pula diselingi membaca english fiction books, dengan balutan hiburan.

Akibatnya, kini sedikit gagigu jika diminta menjelaskan sesuatu menggunakan bahasa ibu pertiwi. Akhirnya mulai membiasakan kembali untuk membaca buku-buku indo lawas yang telah lama tersimpan di lemari. Tak hanya itu, memiliki anak yang banyak bertanya juga merupakan jalan ninjaku untuk melatih kembali dalam menyusun kata yang tepat agar dapat menjelaskan sesuatu yang rumit menjadi sederhana, sebagaimana aku dulu.

Sekarang kau tahu mengapa aku selalu kagum dengan polyglot.

I told everyone in the room that I graduated earlier than expected from my doctoral because of my kind-hearted supervisor. Little did they know how much I had sacrificed to earn that degree, and I didn’t feel like they needed to know either.

It’s intentional. It’s a strategy. I’d rather be underestimated than live under the weight of their expectations.

Since it’s been sold and will be handed over soon, I decided to take one last ride today with my travel bestie before we go our separate ways.

You’re not just a bike, you’ve seen it all with me.

2026, March 20.

Shirakawa River, Kumamoto, Japan.

© Cintantya B Casita

“Since you don’t eat meat or dishes with alcohol, we ordered this especially for you. Please enjoy your nigiri sushi…and these fried vegetables too.”

Thank you for the warm welcome and the warm farewell! See you around!

2026, March 12.

Iwako, Kumamoto, Japan.

© Cintantya B Casita

2026, Japan.

I’ll be fasting and breaking my fast in a different place again this time. It’s not like in 2019, when I experienced Ramadan in China with my husb.

Now, I welcome Ramadan in Japan, on my own—quietly carrying the title of an unofficial Dr, along with gratitude and growth.

2026, Japan.

© Cintantya B Casita

I check the forecast every morning. It’s nice to know that winter is almost over and that the weather is getting warmer day by day. Spring is just around the corner! Glad to finally say goodbye to winter!

2026, February 24.

Kumamoto, Japan.

(c) Cintantya B Casita