Cinnabar Smiles

had a dream where I had a beautiful, fucked up and evil wife who told me she couldn't "do the morally grey shit anymore"

what pokemon type(s) would you be but more importantly what are some incredibly realistic, lame but slightly outlandish explanations for it. i'll go first fire or poison: acid reflux ice: bad circulation so my hands are always cold ground: at age ten I tried to stick a fork in an electrical socket to see if it actually did anything and I didn't die

the american healthcare system is absolute dogshit but I think something fucked up that we don't talk about is that if I get top surgery I can't bring my titty meat home with me. i just want to keep it in the fridge or smthn. idk. hang it up on my wall lol

the special relationship between me and the old man who keeps donating the good hawaiian shirts to my local thrift store

obey me devs: ok new game right. you're in the past. no one remembers you. you have to redo all the shit you already did me: what the fuck that's absolutely awful. why obm devs: you live with Solomon now me: genius. 10/10. immaculate game

every time I feel a slight amount of tummy pain I feel an inspiring amount of a murderous rampage brewing. its coming. i'm just a little guy I can't handle this. i need breadsticks