Just calling to make an appointment with my psych makes me a nervous wreck. Cant even english good 😫😫😫

Me and my sister had our first ever heart to heart last night after i put her through a rough saturday night. It included me saying "Don't be weird, but i just wanted to apologize" and her saying "Don't be gay, but you aren't a shit sister."

Am feeling like the worst gf ever. Anthony was coming down with something over the weekend, and I thought he was just being a boy and just dealing with the flu in a way only men do (act like its the end) He called me this morning saying he was in hospital because he has pneumonia in his right lung. I wasn't able to go see him because of work, but luckily my mum is a champ and took him some proper food and essentials. He should be out tomorrow but this has really scared me and made me realise that we finally need to motivate each other and stop being so fat together haha.

My cousin will never see her dad again, it absolutely broke my heart to see he breaking down beside his coffin. She is pregnant (maybe with twins) and they won't get the chance of meeting their grandfather. That is why i can't just pretend like mine doesn't exist. I wish my mum understood that. He has broken a lot of hearts, mine included, but death is unexpected. What if we don't get another chance? But also, it's been almost two years since i've heard from my dad. Why can't i pretend he doesn't exist? He clearly has no time for me and my sister, i just thought after all the shit he hasn't done for us, me in particular, and the fact that I have had a massive talk with him when i was younger about getting his shit together and making me feel like his daughter, nothing has changed. Why does he always make me feel like he doesn't care about me?

Im so sexually frustrated, its hot and every little thing is irritating. I hate everyone, especially me. Did i mention it's hot? Yup

When Anthony tries to have a conversation with me after i get home from work, but just mumbles gibberish and falls asleep. 😂😍

Kind of broke down last night in front of Anthony. I'm really scared im gonna put him off with all my shit 😕

🙃🙃should probably go see my psych as i am spiraling ha ha ha ha