P A R A D O X

Felicia squinted her eyes, allowing herself to adjust her sight in such minimum illumination, but she supposed she could thank her feline attributes for allowing herself to perform as well in submerged darkness. She spread her hands on the sheets of Robin’s bed, feeling a light tickling feeling of tiny bristles caress the porcelain skin of her digits. She picked up the object, bringing it to her face, feeling a sense of deja vu. She remembered the pairs conversation not too long ago of how he had found himself waking up with feathers around his frame. She had already come to the conclusion that the feathers were his own, a direct gene from his esteemed father. She dropped the feather back to the bed, lifting her body into a sitting position, settling her focus on Robin.

She would be lying to herself if she didn’t feel her eyes widen in awe at the pair of wings attached to Robin’s shirtless frame. The wing span molded into his body in symmetrical perfection, highlighting the naked expanse of his chest and torso. She had never seen him in this form before. She wasn’t intimidated in the least but astonished, lips pouting into an ‘o’ shape as she drank him in. The next thing she noticed were his eyes, flamed purple irises that seemingly glowed in the dark. She didn’t want to be rude so she didn’t stare at his wings or his chest. She tried feigning boredom, resting her attention solemnly on his eyes, though she took note of the inflamed skin on his shoulder blades from scratch marks he more than likely inflicted on himself. “Sure you wouldn’t have,” she huffed out sarcastically, a smirk replacing her pout. She arched an eyebrow in the air, having never heard him speak with such a tone of voice before, such animosity. Felicia didn’t know if she should be turned on or concerned, not that she owed Robin anything. She crouched her body down, unzipping the thigh high black boots from her slender legs, peeling them off her feet and exhaling a sigh of relief. “Boredom is part of it, but maybe I missed you. Ever thought of that?” she lied with a sweet smile, slowly sinking backward again into Robin’s bed. “I was naughty and wanted someone to know how easy it was to rob a bank. I don’t think the police force even had a chance to see me,” she laughed breathlessly. “However, I see how busy you are now and maybe I dropped in at a bad time.”

Dad said: ‘Train hard, train harder’ and Robin couldn’t understand the insistence until now, moving wings was tougher than expected, a whole extra effort from the muscles, but he hasn’t  had the time to use them properly just yet and still, he knew how to do it, he knew the moment he needed them, he would soar the skies with ease ( hopefully ). He had also being getting used to them, learning their size and now, they would automatically move to avoid hitting someone or something by accident. Bare feet walked over broken glass, most likely caused by a previous little accident, but his feet showed no cuts because right now, even though Robin governs most of his body, the chaos in him--- NO ---the angel in him allows no puny material to cut through divine skin, careful there, though, for this body isn’t indestructible.

Steps are made towards the bed with silky blue sheets because yes, the villains leader’s son was mostly of casual tastes, but there was no way to deny he had also inherited more than wings and powers, he had also inherited an expensive preference and a tint of arrogance, although it was usually more discreet than his father’s. “Oh, we used to play fetching a lot back then before I knew it was you, remember? It was fun, I liked it”, he commented with a side smirk, eyes still flashing plum as he makes it to the edge of the bed. A soft laughter vibrated in his chest, causing his wings to lightly twitch. “Missed me? But Felicia, cats rarely miss, cats move around by convenience, they are far too independent to simply... miss”, he pointed out. Robin leans down to rest his hands on the bed and get closer to her in matter of height, “the police force is useless, fragile, the weakest attempt of humans to try and empower us”, Robin chuckled, “oh, no, please DO stay”, he purred, “it has been lonely around here, dad spends a lot of time with his minions”, Robin shrugged and a wing found its way behind her to softly push her into his direction, but he quickly stood back, retrieving his feathers back. “But if you feel like leaving and bothering someone else, I won’t stop you either”.

“Spill the beans?” she repeated before snorting at the weird saying she had never heard before. “As I recall a mere five seconds ago, you were the one weaseling your way into my love life, questioning me about it, but whatever helps you sleep at night,” the petite blonde spoke up, inching her shoulders upward into a shrug. “Do you now? You forget that I’m an older woman that you are equivocally unattracted to?” she spoke in seductive tone of voice. “Maybe I wouldn’t have to bring age into this if you weren’t smirking at me like that and your tone of voice wasn’t so childish,” she pointed out, wiggling her index finger at Robin. 

“Confessing to someone you like before it is too late? That mistake?” she reiterated, stealing a glance at Robin as she felt her heart rate pick up dramatically. She could tell him she had her own mix of confusing feelings and attraction for the male but where would that lead her? She clearly was not in his line of sight or even an afterthought in his mind. The confession would do nothing but harm Robin, especially when she knew he was already hurting from his own mistake with Aerith. She would not hurt him in this way and opted to just suppress the urge to be truthful for once in her life. “Well, no. It wasn’t hard just, I don’t have many experiences with happy undertones to them,” she vaguely described. Her head tilted to the side as she watched the male digest her compliments, though she saw them more as facts than her actively going out of her way to compliment Robin. A small smile painted her pink lips as Robin thanked her for her words. “You’re welcome.” She nearly laughed at his comment of being bad. He had no idea the type of person she was and all the pain and suffering she had caused. Her mere creation was for the purpose of being bad, that was all her life had to offer. She battled with accepting the inevitable for so long but coming to terms and accepting how evil she was became a tolerance.

“Don’t you dare talk bad about your father to me,” she spoke harshly, eyes darkening in protection of her father figure. “Among other things, yes,” she admitted. “I don’t understand the bitterness you have for Luci. All he has ever done has been for your well being and protection,” she defended. She dropped her defensive tone of voice as Robin was finally revealing his truth to her. Felicia’s green eyes widened at the feather extended outward to her, knowing the implications the object held for Robin and his physical composition. She slowly reached her hand out for the feather, fingertips gently gripping one end of it as she studied the object closely. She returned the feather to his hands but her eyes were still drawn to the object. She glanced down at his bloodied hands, bottom lip protruding into a pout as she rummaged through her bag for tissues. She reached for Robin’s hands, cupping them in her own as she cleared away the blood from his slender digits. 

She concentrated on cleaning his hands, remaining silent as she tried to thing of words to explain the phenomenon or at least comfort him in some way. Her thumb rubbed small circles over his knuckles as she looked up toward his eyes and then back at the feather. “Perhaps the Doves did something to you. .” she whispered in an inaudible tone of voice, shivering at the thought of the boy being tortured. “I. .it reminds me of something when I was young. My mutant gene was dormant…so to trigger it I had to endure various different scenarios to try and activate it. Maybe the pain the Doves inflicted. .” she trailed off, hoping he would piece together what she was trying to say. She couldn’t believe she had shared that small tidbit of her past to him, no matter how many details she left out of her sentence. “I would be scared too,” she offered, scrunching her eyebrows together in thought. “I think it means that you’re growing wings. I could be wrong but that would be my best guess.”

“Yes, spill  the beans; it’s a phrase people say when talking about telling secrets”, Robin explained. Oh, he was aware that Felicia wasn’t very actualized with slang ( old or new ), but he sometimes forgot how OUTDATED she could be sometimes, but it was alright, he had gained practice and patience with Aerith when explaining about common earthly stuff. “------Unequivocally attracted to”, he quoted with a chuckle trapped at the back of his throat, “oh, please, do gloat on the idea... I am sure you fantasize about that a lot”, he added, but his smile was wide and still rather childish and the effect didn’t diminish when she called him out on it. “You are having fun with me and my childish behavior, admit it”, he teased.

“Yes, that mistake, precisely”, he commented a bit more harshly than intended.    IT STILL HURT.   He went quiet immediately after that as he tried to drown the unexpected roughness of his tone in his last words. He still tried to convince himself that there was a valid reason she had left, he felt it deep in his soul that she just hand’t abandoned him; but sinking in an ocean of thoughts and hunches wasn’t going to do anything to solve his current problem. Her words about her memories cause him to briefly squint his eyes in utter curiosity and a million questions and thoughts run through his head and is hard to pick just one or two, “but you can always make new ones, right? No matter where you come from, matters who you are right now”, the boy commented with a little shrug.

“And don’t you dare lecture me about MY father; I still know him longer than you, Felicia, we share the same blood”, Robin bit back as the air tensed for an instant. “Don’t misunderstand me, I love my father very dearly and he knows it, I am very expressive about that with him. I KNOW that most of the things he has done have been to honor his own values and my own life and he is my HERO because of that, but that doesn’t impede me from questioning his morality every now and then and even I know his personality sometimes make him be more eccentric than I can tolerate”, Robin explained, “I admire him entirely, but I don’t plan to follow his or my mother’s rules blindly”. Surprisingly enough, her touch was SOFT, the way she handled the feather was way more careful than anyone could think given her harsh personality and Robin kept a close eye on that, The feather returned to his hands, but soon, just after placing it on the table, his hands were grabbed and he was tempted to pull back, not very used to physical contact or this kind of approach, but again, Aerith left him very well trained, and so, Robin stayed silent and patient as she cleaned his hands with a kindness that took him completely by surprise, causing him to stick his eyes on their hands for a moment and even when she was finished, he didn’t retreat.    HE NEEDED THIS.     He had gotten so used to so much affection and constant touch that now he was CRAVING for it unknowingly.

Robin looked back at the feather when she did as she gave her opinion about the situation. “The Doves...”, he trailed, but when she dropped a little about her past, his dark eyes went back to her, recognizing the tiny, yet vital piece of information that he didn’t know. “The Doves and anyone who is willing to cause that kind of torture deserves nothing but punishment”, he spoke seriously with his eyes fixed on her as now he reversed the roles and took a grasp on her hands. He could relate to the torture and the pain, maybe it wasn’t the same amount, nor the same time, but to some point... he could relate. His eyes blink away as he thinks of her words; yes, the Doves experiments could have triggered something... he had thought about it before, but still... it felt... ODD. “It’s... it’s different...”, Robin admitted with a shake of the head, “if and only IF I am growing wings... it doesn’t feel as something part of my mutation; this feels more... physical, while everything related to my mutation comes from my head and my blood... I don’t know if I am making any sense, but----- “, and his eyes focus again on the feather. Growing wings? HIM? “----why now? Maybe the Doves did have something to do about it, but until it is something sure, please, PLEASE, Felicia, don’t speak a word to my father about this. I don’t wanna create unnecessary commotion”, he expresses as his request is accompanied by a squeeze to her hands.

A second mutation? Well that sure as hell caught his attention, his eyebrows lifting with clear interest. He idled by popping his knuckles, each one individually with a series of aching pops. “I ain’t no scientist,” He replied a little gruffly, “But there’s not a lot of science out there on this topic. I mean, that’s your dad’s thing isn’t it?” Silver Knight’s estranged ex-husband was something of a big-shot in the biology nerd scene after all, mostly for his work on mutants.

“But I mean, in my opinion, genetic mutations doesn’t have to be a one-variant kinda deal. Like, plenty of people have multiple genetic disorders right? Not that mutation is a disorder, but uh, doesn’t show that you can have more than one genetic mutation, so… more than one power is possible too?” He shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, who says anyone just has one? Maybe it’s a series of powers that are all kinda related to each other. Like, nothing logical about the fact I can turn into multiple creatures instead of just the one, or why Meg can use different kindsa space powers instead of just like the sun, for example. So… Yeah, I don’t know. I guess it’s possible.”

The sound of the other’s bones caused a silent shiver to run down his spine as he remembered the horrendous torture he had heard and seen in the Doves facilities and even if it unsettles him, he does nothing more than chewing on his lower lip as his eyes focus on the face behind the mask. “Yeah, but I’d rather keep this topic away from my father for as long as I am able to”. he admitted with a little frown. The last thing he needed was to alarm his father with something that was probably unnecessary and pointless.

Minhyuk couldn’t remember the last time he saw Silver Knight’s baby boy. Maybe it was around the time he’d been kidnapped. The memory stood out to him because of Silver Knight’s composure during the event. If it were him, he would have lost his shit. He did lose his shit a little bit and nobody particularly close to him had been snatched off the streets by those low-life thugs.Just the idea of it had been enough to make his blood boil, burn hot and scorch him inside out. The thought of if it had been someone he cared for.

His nose wrinkled, making the cloth mask stretched over his mouth shift slightly. Minhyuk didn’t know the particulars of how much Silver Knight let Junior know about all of them and their identities, but he wasn’t a big fan of being bare-faced amongst the League and League Associates. Even if it was for the nerdiest reasons, he was pretty notorious in his civilian life, and the last thing he needed was one of them to turn out to be a big-mouthed brat.

“Probably not,” He said amidst a yawn, leaning back against the leather of one of the long couches in the Haggis Industries waiting area, where he was waiting for his friend to clock out. “But you look like you’re itching to tell me, so why dontcha take a chance?”

Robin studied the face of the other, not giving too much importance at who could be found behind the mask, but more importance to the fact that any of his mother’s adopted children could run to her with the unsettling news. Robin bit on his lower lip with doubt as his eyes moved away from the other and focused on the metallic statue in the center of the lobby. He had to handle this with maximum caution to avoid creating unnecessary gossip, but even with how uninterested Sabre seemed to be about keeping his secret, he didn’t come across as a snitch to Robin’s eyes. Eh, just take a shot already, kid.

     “Do you know if it is possible to develop some kind of... second mutation?”

Felicia felt an ache in her knuckles, closing her fist and opening her palm to sedate the muscles and the blades she nearly felt protruding against her skin. She could punch that smirk off of Robin’s face right now that is how much it annoyed her. She watched the small droplets of blood appear on her ghostly skin, quickly rubbing the bodily liquid on the side of her black torn jeans. “I’m sure she is. Can I use she or is there some alien pronoun I should be aware of?” she questioned with a small smirk of her own. “I don’t want to be culturally inaccurate is all.” She felt her bitterness diffuse through the air the more they were on the topic of Aerith. It was as clear as day what Robin thought and felt for the girl. What could she do about the situation? Nothing. She knew that. One look in Robin’s eyes as he spoke about the alien said it all. “How fucking sweet. I think I just got a cavity from how sweet that was.” The sarcasm was evident as she pressed her hands to her cheeks, pretending to nurse a toothache. 

“Cute,” she laughed, tilting her head backward. “Assuming I don’t have a love life and all,” she added, waving a dismissive hand in the air. “Sue me for not wanting to fuck and tell. I keep those things private,” she animated by pretending to zip her lips shut and throwing the key away behind her. “I suppose I should have gaged such a childish reaction from you with you being so much younger than me and all,” she poked fun, huffing out a sigh. Was it unnecessary to bring his age into the conversation? Nope, not at all. 

“I’m okay,” she laughed,  “I don’t want to take relationship advice or blind date setups from a person who didn’t even let the girl of his dreams know how he truly felt about her before she left,” she mimicked his joking tone. If he wanted to pour salt into fresh wounds than so could she. “It’s ravioli by the way,” she said softly, “my favorite food. I remember having it in Italy once when I was. .it was a job thing.” She paused with a timid smile, fluttering her eyelashes as he spoke. He wasn’t wrong; he didn’t know her and it almost warmed her heart to hear him utter that he thought it was a bad thing like he wanted to take the time to get to know her, to truly know her. “We’re different,” she disagreed. “Trust me on this front. You’re my complete opposite. You may think you are destructive because of your power and the sheer chaos in your veins but you are not. You have more control than you think,” she communicated in a stern yet sincere voice. “You are kinder and merciful and. .” A pregnant pause. “I don’t want to boost your ego any further. .” she stopped herself before she listed everything she admired about the boy. 

She did not notice the breathe she was holding until Robin’s thumb left the skin of her chin. The absence of contact allowing her a moment to gather her wits back together. “Your father actually,” she revealed with a toothy grin. She was very fond of Lucien, seeing him as the father figure she never had. “He thinks I’m special.” She had worked for the Syndicate for about five years now, starting off when she had turned twenty years old, wanting to utilize her abilities to some form of a cause instead of blinded rage and haphazard missions. “Enchant fools. . I should be offended right now. I do not think you are a fool and I was hoping my sincerity would not go unnoticed but I see now that I was wrong,” she stated with an obvious frown. She thought Robin would be different. The one time she was speaking the truth. Seventeen was familiar with contracts, but she never thought coercing Robin for information would ever be as difficult as it was proving to be. “Okay, I’ll bite,” Felicia agreed, face remaining void of any emotion. She would agree to his terms for now. “You go first,” she offered, collapsing back down into her seat, placing her elbows on her knees and staring expectantly at Robin for the big reveal. 

"You are entirely allowed to keep your life and secrets to yourself, of course, nobody is making you spill the beans”, he replied casually as if he hadn’t been the first one to throw poisonous words her way. “I always forget you are older than me, to be honest”, Robin admitted, “you’re the one arguing with someone younger, don’t bring my age into this, Felicia”, Robin warned with a smirk forever present and his childish tone still present.

“Right. I am not the bravest when it comes to feelings, but I am aware of them and on one hand, you could learn from my mistakes”, he pointed out with squinted eyes, not letting her words cut through him even if she was right, even if it still hit too hard to realize he had been playing the role of the fool as he tried to deny his feelings towards Aerith. “Ah, so you like Italian! See? We’re progressing here; it wasn’t so hard, was it?”, the boy teased and he would have continued to do so, but as Felicia described him, even the tension in his pose relaxed a little. Well, now, she wasn’t all fangs and claws and still, the joy lasted a little as his mind went back to the vigilante missions he was doing and how he was treating Dove soldiers and other innocent people that were simply following orders. “I don’t----”, he interrupted, but his lips sealed in a thin line deciding to keep those memories to himself. “Thank you”, he said instead with a little frown over his eyes. “Sill, the fact that you can call me such cool things means you aren’t all that bad either, suck it up”.

“My father”, he repeated with an acknowledging nod, “of course, he can never keep his mouth shut”, Robin sighed. “Oh, he told you that?”, he spat with another butter chuckle. Robin never liked how his father could speak about him and his powers as if anything to some of his little henchmen. “I’m sorry if I cannot trust in someone so close to my father, he tends to move with the wrong crowd, I have to take precaution, I’m sure you understand”, Robin adds. As she agrees, though, Robin sits back on his spot as well and he reaches for his back under the shirt and with a little grimace of pain, he pulls something out, something that slightly taints his fingertips in red. The boy extends the object towards her as his own eyes study it. “I’ve been growing feathers non-stop a couple of weeks after the Doves captured me”, he explained as the white little feather twirled between his fingers and as the sun hit it, some golden reflection came out of it. “And honestly... I am fucking terrified, what does this even mean?”

“ so.” luna repeats, with that of a teasing smile. “are you kidding ? of course i can ! is it like an exciting secret ? because that might be way harder. “ but to be fair, with her secret identity she’d say she was an okay secret keeper. “ go ahead, i’m listening but no pressure or anything.”

Her eyes squinted, narrowing as he repeated her words – “left me.” She searched his face for answers, keenly observing his body language along with the tone of his voice. She took a small step backward as he stood up, giving him a moment to swallow her words and feel the levity of the possibility of his girl leaving him. She should have guessed that he would find the positivity in the situation. Robin was a glass half full type of person, a stark contrast to the way Felicia’s brain worked. She was all realism, strategy and built for any negative situation possible. It was the way the scientists wired her brain, conditioning her to adapt to her environment. 

“And I don’t want to know her,” she singsonged, tucking loose strands of her blonde hair behind her ear. Her face felt warm at the sight of his lips lifting into a smirk, his grin was nearly infectious but she remained stoic. “An alien, huh?” she questioned with a nod of her head. “Whipped by an alien, cool.” She giggled. Every trait he had listed for Aerith was Seventeen’s complete opposite. She wasn’t kind or honest or naive. She was mean – a liar – and cunning. Maybe that was the reason she wasn’t the one Robin was talking about right now. She reminded herself that a weapon could not afford to care for such trivial things. She couldn’t have ties or connections to people. They would jeopardize the mission, become a liability.

“Empathy,” she repeated with a small understanding nod. “So, that was the emotion,” she thought in her head. The emotion– the feeling was still foreign. She wanted to be happy that Robin was trying to connect with her on such an emotional level but all she could think about was Aerith and his stronger connection with her. It tainted the moment, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. “And making a connection is based upon me revealing knowledge on my love life?” she huffed out a chuckle, tongue pressing against her cheek. Nonexistent love life was more like it. “Apologies, Nightwing. I didn’t know that was all it took,” she spoke sarcastically, crossing her on arms over her chest. “I guess there haven’t been any aliens around for me to really form that connection.” She quirked up an eyebrow. “Why do you want to connect with me?”

Her own smirk painted her lips as Robin faced her directly. “You know what they say about curiosity. .” she breathed out, bringing her hand to the back of his neck, fingertips petting the hair that rested on his neck just like she did at that party. “It killed the cat.” She slowly inched her face closer to Robin’s. “I guess I’m just special,” she smiled, a dimple indentation revealing itself at the corner of her mouth. “You don’t think you can trust me,” she spoke the words she was sure echoed in his mind. “I can’t say I blame you,” her hand moved from the back of his neck to his cheek, pressing against his soft skin as she spoke, trying to anchor herself to him as if she were shipwrecked and he was her only lifeline. “You know nothing about me, of course you don’t trust me,” a defeated laugh escaped her lips as she suddenly dropped her hand from his skin. She turned around, balancing herself as she walked in straight line, one heel in front of the tip of her toes. “I guess the only thing I can offer you…Robin, is a promise.” She liked the way his name rolled off her tongue. “A promise to keep your secret.”

As Felicia clearly antagonizes Aerith or his relationship with her, Robin keeps an amused little smile guessing that he probably ruined her game by turning tables. Good. Now more than ever he wasn’t going to show any kind of negative feeling regarding the topic when hanging out with the blonde. “A shame, she’s delightful”, he expresses as an extra method to add salt to the wound, The boy chuckles softly as she shames his feelings and Robin waves it off, “you say it like it is a bad thing, but truth to be told, I would do just anything for her”, he finalizes with a bigger smile. Not like it was a secret, Robin was pretty much an obedient puppy around her, always trying to make Aerith happy. Opposite to Felicia, he thrives to protect his loved ones; never tolerating a single mishandling, not even to his father who has done terrible things.

Robin has to laugh again at her assumption and unexpected ignorance about empathy. Interesting, how this girl would always hang out around people and have them eating from her hand, but she couldn’t understand empathy at all. He tilted his head slightly, curiosity picking harder on him as she speaks,   “oh no, you don’t have to speak about your love life if you don’t have one”, highly unnecessary, Robin, but please, go on, “there are so many things we can talk about to create empathy; it doesn’t even have to be something so relevant, it could be something as simple as your favorite foods”, he explains as his smile turns a bit brighter and more childish even. “If aliens is what you’re looking for I could introduce you to another one” ----run, Sodapop, run!---- “just let me know if you’re interested”, he joked. Her last question softens his expression and he shrugs, “well, why not? I mean, I’ve known you for some years now, but I don’t really know you, which I think is really... bad?”, he wonders with an index tapping on his lips, “I think you and I are not that different, we just express ourselves in different ways”.

Robin keeps his ground, his eyes never leaving hers as she toys with him and her breath clashes against his face; the situation far too familiar... maybe from the parties? “Good thing birds have wings to fly away from danger, hm? If you’re looking for a feline, maybe you should start at the mirror”, he commented with his thumb giving a quick brush to her chin; oh was that even a compliment or an insult? With this kid you never know! Special. Yes, there is something special about her, something that always made Robin’s floor shake slightly, specially with alcohol in his blood, but he is not giving in, not yet. “Special? Says who?”  Her touch was colder, way colder that Aeirth’s and that makes him give her hand on his cheek some unnecessary focus. She pulls back and unknowingly, his breath comes back as well, but he dissimulates as her fake kindness drops to show her true colors and even more honest words, but still... he cannot trust. “Promises are just empty words to enchant the fools”, he opinionates, but quite hypocritical! How many promises has he made the alien girl already. “If you really wanna know my secret then let’s exchange: one of mine for one of yours. It has to be something important, something you’re afraid to... let go, maybe? Think of it as a contract, either a win-win or a... lose-lose”.

It had been years since that party, since Robin had his arms wrapped around her body as if she were the only girl he had eyes for. It had been years since they talked or even looked at each other, but Felicia didn’t forget those small moments of unmotivated company. She held onto those moments no matter how fleeting, no matter the fact that Robin clearly had his endgame. She didn’t have many memories that weren’t tainted by white walls, isolation, the tang of blood and the faint smell of ammonia. 

The more the conversation steered in the direction of Aerith the more she felt herself retreat back into her fabricated robotic personality. Why did she have to comfort Robin? She didn’t. She could choose to be mean, to block him out but that wouldn’t get him to join the syndicate. That was the mission, not to rekindle some false hope of a one sided connection. But…she couldn’t help herself. “Or she didn’t have anything important to do and left you,” she offered coyly, hoping up onto her feet. She had to put space between them in fear that she would regress and go back to trying to comfort him.

“People always leave. It’s just life.” She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “Maybe you’re chasing a girl that doesn’t want to be found.” Seventeen traced the numbers that rested on the pale skin of her forearm, fingertips lightly dancing over the tattoo. “Stop sulking, Nightwing,” she pointed out, noticing the blush painting his own cheeks. She smiled for a brief moment, proud of herself that she was still able to make him blush. “How can she not know with the obvious signs that you are showcasing to me and I’m not even the girl. All you are doing is thinking about it, the scenario of telling her and here you are all hot and bothered,” she teased, poking fun of his emotions to mask her, jealousy? She guess it was the emotion of jealousy or was it envy? She always got the two mixed up. 

“Have you ever been in a similar situation?” the question echoed in her mind, flashes of all the people she vaguely cared about lying lifeless in a pile of blood on the ground. She felt like the blood in her own body froze, raising goosebumps on her skin as she looked down at the ground in silent agony. Anyone she ever loved always winded up dead by her own accord or by affiliation. Then there was the pesky undertone of his question. He wanted to know if she had ever been in love to the caliber that he was. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” she opted for a vague and teasing answer, walking around the subject of herself with little to no effort. 

Her forrest green eyes discreetly looked over at the broken lamp before moving back to staring into Robin’s own eyes. “Bare minimum.” A lie. “Luci’s son. Uber powerful but from our mere exchange right now I can tell you don’t really have a cap on those pesky powers,” she leaned in, whispering the information into Robin’s left ear. “I can keep a secret if you want me to,” she mumbled breathlessly at the limited space between the two.

Robin was actually softening at the memories with Felicia and he tried to remember what were those words his fellow drunk friends used to tell him about her; his mind was wandering far into that when her demeanor changed and his senses alerted; he pulled back a little instinctively and her words fell down on him like cold water. Always short on temper when it came to the most important things in his life, Robin stared back. Felicia could be right, Aerith could have got tired of everything and just left, but... without any warning? That would be really atypical of her. “Left me, interesting choice of words”, he simply says and stands up as well, shaking off the somber aura around him; was he gonna let her make fun of his grief? Definitely not.

“------Maybe”, he admits, “but you don’t know her, you know nothing about her, she would never----”, and the realization came through mid-sentence and Robin lit up with a half-smirk, “she left no trace behind her, no message, no nothing. You’re right, Felicia. She’s not meant to be found”. And he was grinning, because his brains were working fast as a new clue arose, but his grin faltered when abduction became a possibility. The girl’s next words made him look up at her; the tone in her voice didn’t go by unnoticed and the boy crosses his arms. “She’s not human to begin with; she is kind, naive and honest; some of the traits that make her simply the best”, he replied, now replicating the shrug she did earlier.

Robin paid close attention to her, feeling his own emotional and psychological barriers lift up as the girl looked down to ponder about his question. He stood up and there was again the squint of his eyes as he tried to read her and for a second, he got a familiar feeling; something that told him he had seen her somewhere else before aside of the parties, but he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was. “No, not really. I was just searching for some real empathy, a way to connect with you, I guess”, Robin admitted.

A little smirk showed up again; oh, so she was familiarized with his father and very few actually knew that Robin Latierre was a mutant, very impressive, Felicia. Robin kept a straight face as she described him and he didn’t move even though she was deleting some space between them. Instead, he shifted to face her directly, no matter the distance. “I’m curious, y’know...”, and he tilted his head, “...to know how you got all of that information. I mean, Lucien is my father, that’s no secret, of course, but knowing I am a mutant with such powers, not many know about that”, he commented with a little inquisitive smile. “I don’t really know if I can trust you, to be honest”.

Maxxie’s eyebrows raised, feigning interest. Robin was cut from the same cloth as he was, both angling toward the side of apathy, so it was surprising to see the boy this … animated, alive. Emotional.

He reached up to delicately push his fringe to the side. “I have no interest in exposing your secrets, Robin, you should know better.” Reaching for the mug of black coffee, he brought it to his lips for a sip. “Go ahead.”

Robin hesitated briefly as he stared into Maxxie’s eyes. Yes, the other didn’t look like someone who would really expose someone else’s secrets, but still, the distrustful nature in him caused his eyes to squint before he showed what he was keeping in between his hands: a little white feather with minuscule golden fibers that reflected with light. 

 “------Yes, I know, looks like nothing important, but... I pulled  this out of my back this morning”.

It was almost deja vu for Felicia. She remembered that one party where she managed to keep Robin’s attention for more than a dance. The child-like excitement that bubbled in her belly ( most likely fluttering butterflies ) and made her palms sweat with unease at the feeling Robin emitted from her usually composed self. He, of course, was very drunk and she was painfully sober, a silent reminder of her over zealous healing ability removing life’s small pleasure of getting plastered at a party. None the less, she had felt like she had spoken more words to Robin in the three minutes and twenty-four seconds the song they danced to played then she had to anyone that entire month. She smiled at the memory, recollecting them sitting next to each other as they were now only Felicia was the one spilling secrets she knew he would not remember. She confessed to dark despicable deeds she had carried out and plagued her fabricated body, playing with the lengthened hair resting on the nap of Robin’s neck. She found solace in his company, even in drunk company…even if she knew the only reason he had danced with her was because Aerith wasn’t there. Her bottom lip jutted out into a pout, a small frown pulling at the corner of her lips as she recalled the truth of the memory. 

She supposed any normal person would flinch at the floor below them cracking into pieces, shaken at the very foundation that was keeping the pair grounded, but not Felicia. She remained tentative and concerned for Robin, eyes downcast at the fading purple glow in his hands. She was about to offer words of encouragement when…well there it was. Aerith. Even if he did not utter her name, she knew who his best friend’s were, who currently had no trace in Crystalline, and who had stollen his heart. She refused to let her bright smile falter and decided the best course of action was to console him or try too. She never consoled anyone before or had too for that matter. It was a diversion from what actually was bothering Robin and she knew he was lying but couldn’t bring herself to call him out on his bullshit just yet. “Maybe it was something really important and she. . I mean they had to leave suddenly,” Felicia offered as an explaination she deemed passable. Although, she wasn’t quite sure why she was defending Aerith’s case.

And the knife sunk deeper into Felicia’s heart, cutting away at the hope she carried when she chose to sit next to Robin. She guessed that was what she deserved being the horrible person she was. “Aha! It is a her,” she teased playfully if only to distract herself from the fact that she had to give Robin girl advice that wasn’t even about her! “Sometimes,” she paused trying to find the right thing to say. “Sometimes, words don’t have to be spoken or exchanged. When you feel something so deeply, the other person just kind of knows,” Seventeen lifted her shoulders into a shrug, reaching out to give Robin’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Now do you want to tell me what is actually on your mind or should I just keep playing along with this best friend spiel?” She uttered, unsure of why her heart was beating so fast. She thought she did a fairly good job on the advice part but still felt her shoulders slump back down in defeat, not noticing she was still holding Robin’s hand before instantly returning it to her own lap, turning her head to the side as a blush peppered along her cheeks. 

Robin never got drunk whenever Aerith was around; his necessity to keep her safe was too big to expose her and he was awfully starstruck by the alien to even pay attention to his surroundings. He exchanged the drinking and the dancing for cheesy smiles and whispering; he exchanged close dancing for hand holding, he practically exchanged Felicia for Aerith. Robin vaguely remembers one time Aerith couldn’t assist to the party and even though, he rejected drinking at first, soon he was back to his old habits because he actually need to disconnect for a while and forget the ridiculous war that was being fought outside. He vaguely remembers how his hands were hanging around Felicia’s waist, he knows it was her because she has a very particular smell. She was talking, but her voice sounded muffled and just some words reached his ears, but the drunken state of his brain didn’t allow him to connect them properly. Robin remembers snuggling into her neck, feeling a familiar nostalgia that lasted the whole length of the song; then he got distracted with something else and then... then he was home.   That was probably the last time they properly talked.    Robin even feels bad about it, she didn’t deserve his drunk self.

“Maybe she did have something important to do...”, he mumbles with eyes looking down in a wondering expression as he briefly diverted from the original secret and into all the possible reasons of why Aerith would have left 

                                           -----can you tell he accidentally gave away her pronoun?-----

Panic attempts to hit his chest at the possibility of her leaving just because, but also at the possibility of her being in danger... are his nightmares trying to tell him something?    A new option formulates in his brain and for a moment, as Robin’s brain quickly connects the dots and formulates theories, his forever tired expression leaves to be substituted by a focused one;   maybe he could track the capsule’s location and----!

His thoughts become interrupted as Felicia seems to have found the answer to something and he even startles, looking back at her as a sudden ( and very rare! ) blush covers his cheeks. Ah, was he that obvious? Robin frowns to the thought and looks away as the other speaks, feeling his ears burn in embarrassment, but he truly wonders if Aerith knew about his feelings or if she was as oblivious as he was for a long time.   His heart aches.   His hand automatically rubs his chest, but tries to distract himself from the thought. “I hope she knows”, he simply replies, even though he secretly hopes she doesn’t, because how embarrassing! And if anything, he’d rather tell her in person. “Have you ever been in a similar situation?”, the boy asks, trying to get away from the spotlight and actually ( truly ) curious about catching up with Felicia’s life.

His distraction didn’t let him realize that the embarrassment he was feeling at the center of his core had caused a nearby lamp to malfunction and when Felicia squeezed his hand, the surprise caused it to blow, causing Robin to get a hold back of his emotions as people turned their heads over, but he pretended to be as surprised as them. “I...----”, he began as his eyes darted down to their hands right before she moved it away. “-----I need to ask first, what do you know about me?”, he inquired with squinted eyes; one couldn’t go around revealing his powers to every acquaintance; specially if such a BIG reveal was involved.

“Well you see, Robin, I am perfectly capable of forcing them to obey me, but that sort of tyranny is a mutiny waiting to happen.” He said, dismissing the idea of forcing them to bend to his will immediately. If he wanted mindless puppets, he would have invested his resources in an army of armoured robots or something. There was a benefit to having individuals on his team, even when there were so many downfalls. A robot could only do what it was programmed to do, after all. 

His soldiers, his soldiers were formidable beings, both on their own and as a unit. The only issue lay in the obvious frustration they were feeling at change not coming quickly enough. He sympathised with them, many of them having been captured just as Robin had been, and subjected to unspeakable torture at the hands of their enemies. Lucien could understand that rage, had felt it himself.  “The Syndicate isn’t run how the League is. I might be their leader, but they can act without me so long as it doesn’t contradict our interests as a group.”

But, emotion was a distraction. Emotion had made him make the order he had been avoiding from the start: assassinating the mayor as soon as the opportunity had presented itself. “I know your mother can’t defeat me, but I don’t want to smite her, or any of her obedient little mutants. What I want,” He said, leaning forward in his seat, “Is for mutants to come together against our common enemy. An administration that would only continue to hurt us if given the change.”

He wrinkled his nose with disgust. “Do you have a rash or something? Why do you keep itching yourself like a mindless circus monkey? I have Fucidin in the medical cabinet.” So his son would be of no use in providing him recruits. Typical.

How like his mother he was, protective of his loved ones in a way Lucien was forced to admire. “Well, that’s fair. I guess I’ll have to go ask my other children.” Before Robin had a chance to ask, he clarified, “My minions, I mean. They’re still feeling the thrill of assassinating the Mayor, so they might be helpful for a change.”

He got a point, but still, Robin didn’t give much thought at how the Syndicate worked, the less he knew, the better; specially if you considered the heavily chaotic members that adorned Lucien’s lines; a bunch of imps certainly looked hard to control. “That’s on you for hiring criminals and people with lots of grudge and anger issues”, the boy replies with a half-smile.

“When you put it that way, it sounds less intense compared to how mom likes to run things, but I guess that’s an advantage of not working by the law”, he admits after taking another sip from his coffee. “You’re probably a better father figure than the actual parents of a lot of them, y’know? It’s interesting, because no matter how evil the media makes you look... at the end, you may be a bit power crazy and chaotic, but you’re not all that bad”, Robin points out.

His father’s words are heavy and Robin tries to dissimulate, but his eyes dart downwards and the overwhelm of thoughts and opinions are buzzing. The resentment is still there, active and aggressive; he still desires to make the Doves pay, to make anti-mutants pay. “You should’ve let me kill him”, he mutter with a clenched jaw. Robin is talking about the mayor, oh, how he wanted to slowly twist his neck until----- !!  His aggressive thoughts make the coffee boil and spill on his wrist; he wakes up from his little trance and pushes the mug away, cleaning the coffee with his own shirt before heading to the sink to get cold water and heal his pain and distract his mind. “Most heroes are too vanilla, they wouldn’t hurt a fly.    They are weak!!   But he doesn’t say it.

At the mention of his itching, Robin becomes aware of it and his hands escape from his back even if the sensation didn’t slow down. Should he tell his father or his mother? Doubts soon clouds his judgement and a bite to the lower lip gives him away: he is hiding something, he knows it looks obvious, so...    “ever since the Doves thing I have this anxious tic of scratching my back...”, he explains, “...but it is probably nothing!”, he shrugs it off as a little white feather falls down from his shirt to the floor, but he is unaware. “Most likely just a nervous reaction”.

Felicia knocked her kneecaps teasingly against Robins’. She studied the way his hands were clenched tightly together and ascertained he had something hidden between his palms. She lifted her gaze back upward, staring deeply into his eyes. She thought they heavily resembled Lucien’s but she had only met his father and never his mother. Therefore, she might be a bit bias. She knew Lucien wanted Robin to be in the syndicate even if he never exclusively said those words to her. The least she could do was entertain him in friendship until she deemed it the right moment to persuade him to join his father. She couldn’t explain it but she craved Lucien’s acceptance, wanting nothing more than to be in his good graces, to be his favorite member of his band of misfit villains, though she would never admit it.  Felicia concluded the best way to do so was to convince his son to join the syndicate. She arched a single eyebrow, noticing him chewing nervously at his lower lip. “A secret? Me?,” she paused for a moment to build suspense. “Of course! This one time I kept this foster kid’s secret of…well if I tell you then I’ll break my sworn vow of secrecy so I can’t actually tell you now that I think about it,” she huffed out, shaking her head at her stupidity. She looked back into Robin’s eyes, reading his body language and how anxious he was at the thing resting in his hands. “Yes,” she breathed out almost silently, trying to communicate to him in a sincere way that she could keep a secret, flashing him a bright fake smile.

Felicia was a recurrent face in informal social events and his life in general for the past few years; they participated in conversations with other people, but aside of that, she was just another ( really ) pretty face in the crowd; oh... they danced at that one party a year ago, but he barely remembers, he was too drunk and life was fine. Now here they are, him, a little taller with new scars and hair slightly shorter ( thanks god he finally cut it ) and here she was, still small, still with diamond eyes and pageant smile. He remembers how one of his classmates commented about trying to get a date with her, but he didn’t hear how that end, does she look like a player?    Robin doubts.   That single thought makes him wonder if she was the most adequate person to approach to with something so delicate and so, his confidence falters and his powers don’t forgive. The floor under his feet silently crack and the little white feather in his hands suffer under the pressure of chaos and disintegrates in seconds. The boy thanks for that in his mind. Her voice is melodic and her smile is obnoxious and sugary; most people seemed to love that kind of stuff but for Robin is just weird, because he is being apathetic and he is depressed because his love interest vanished from Earth in one night. No goodbyes, no nothing. He’s pissed. Girls suck. Love sucks. His hands open, but there’s nothing inside, just a purple glow discreetly fading from his fingertips; but he still has to think in something and quick! Something believable enough to substitute his angelic issue.    “My best friend just dipped without notice”, he blurted out. Wow, really? Of all the things he could’ve said, he picked an actually painful one; but that’s still not much of a secret,   “...and I didn’t tell her how I feel”.   That’s better. Dramatic and unnecessarily cheesy, but better.

       “So...”

Robin flops on the seat next to the other, his fingers anxiously fiddling with something hidden between his hands and he bites his lower lip nervously, dying to tell someone about this so they could tell him he was just seeing things, that it was still part of the trauma, that this wasn’t real.