some peculiar people

these are my own tags but i wrote a short little fic about it while in institute:

Grace can't quite wrap his head around it. "Wait, so . . . Jesus? Like, Jesus from the Bible? He visited you guys?"

Rocky's leg taps thoughtfully. "What Bible, question?"

"Um. It's a book of Jesus's teachings, I think."

"Oh understand. Erid has book of Jesus teachings, too. Very long book. Much to learn."

Grace, raised agnostic and grown atheist, really does not know how to come to terms with the fact that the Eridians know who Jesus is. He hasn’t moved since Rocky mentioned it, not even to fidget. That means that Jesus is real? Apparently? Christianity is right—or, well, the Mormons are right?

"So Erid already knew about humans," Grace states, crossing his arms. That, at least, is something he can address right now. He can work on the whole restructure of his belief system later. "Because Jesus was—is?—human."

"Is not," Rocky says with a vehement shake of his body. "Jesus is like Eridian. Jesus is Rock."

"No."

"Yes. Jesus say so Himself."

"Pretty sure he didn't say that."

Rocky makes a trilling sound that Grace has come to recognize as a huff. "Grace not read Jesus book so he not know. Rocky read Jesus book every day. Rocky baptized. Rocky 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅘𝅥𝅮 (endowed). Not Grace."

Grace rubs his eyes with his palms, knocking his glasses entirely off his face. "Well then, how did they crucify him?" he asks, not even trying to hide his frustration.

“No understand word.”

"Crucifixion? They make a cross, like this?" He makes a cross sign with his fingers. "Nailed Jesus up there? How would they nail him if he was a rock?"

Rocky doesn't even hesitate. "Strong nails. Not cross. Asterisk."

Grace just barely doesn't burst out laughing at that image. It makes sense, he supposes. An Eridian Jesus would have to be crucified on an asterisk.

"Look, Rock, I'm no expert on Jesus," Grace says, raising his hands in surrender. "But maybe we have two different ones? Because I'm pretty sure he was human on earth, and the whole thing he did was die for our sins."

"Yes. Die for our sins."

"I mean, like, earth's sins."

"No, die for all sins. Earth and Erid."

"Did he die on Erid, too?"

"No. Jesus died somewhere else. Rocky now know was earth. Came to Erid after."

It doesn't make sense. It would be like - like saying Jesus went to the Americas after he died in Jerusalem, or wherever it was.

Then again, none of this makes any sense.

"Okay," Grace relents, before Mary can intervene on what sounds to her like a conflict. "Okay. So, Eridians are Mormons?"

"Yes, 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅝," Rocky says, a word that sounds like a four-part harmony lingering on a high note. "Mormon. ocky will teach Grace! Like science!"

He might as well learn about Erid's religious culture before they arrive. It's definitely something he ought to be at least passingly familiar with. "Sure, buddy. Teach me."

Rocky hops excitedly. "Yes, yes, yes! Rocky set apart as missionary in case of aliens. Preach My Gospel in my room!"

Grace laughs. "A missionary? Like, one of the guys with name tags?"

Rocky hums. "Yes, I need name tag. Grace make Rocky name tag."

"You don't need that."

"Human missionaries wear name tag. Rocky need name tag."

"Rock."

"Cannot be consecrated missionary without name tag."

Grace sighs. "Fine, but it's gonna be made of paper. Happy?"

"Happy happy happy! Like Plan of Happiness!"

A noble savage problem

Only place in the game you can buy coffee

And suddenly I seem less like an inspired Mormon girl and more like a monologuing super villain.