some peculiar people

So out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field...

to answer: You are absolutely right about your reasons to distrust the Bible. It is badly translated, contradictory, steeped in its own history (as are we). It's been altered a LOT and continues to be altered by every wind of doctrine someone wants to promote. I, in fact, read the Bible twice all the way through and really didn't like it. Finally, the third time through on a deep read for an editing project, I finally "got" some things that changed my view of the Bible. I really like it now--but only because I finally understood that the Old Testament is NOT the story of The Good Guys. The Old Testament is the story of a deeply flawed family that God is trying to save despite themselves. It's the story of a covenant that God is trying to make with people--"You will be my people, and I will be your God"--and that WE TODAY have access to also. It shows us God's power. It shows us how absolutely stupid and evil most people are (including "heroes" like Sampson and that dude who sacrificed his own daughter), and how much God is willing to help us learn how to not be evil, and forgive us. And the New Testament is the story of the smartest, most amazing guy who ever walked the earth (Jesus) and how snarky he was with his opponents and how forgiving he was to the people who cried. Like me. I cry. Looking at it this new way has given me a new appreciation for how it is ancient--some of it very very ancient--and still applicable and interesting today IF you are looking for a guide to having a relationship with God--can you trust Him, how do people mess that up, what does he do when we want to change, etc. Those things are in there still. What's not in there is accurate history. We don't even have all of each of the books (some, like Haggai, to the point of it being fragmentary and nearly nonsens)

Personally, I recommend the New Oxford Annotated Bible for a good read--the footnotes help a TON. I also like Josephs Smith's edits to the bible, but they're hard to find (unless you like to read old handwriting).

Happy Pioneer Day! This is the day when we remember the brave pioneers who crossed the plains. They crossed mountains. They crossed the rivers. They crossed the US government. They crossed the vicious things in the thrall of the US government. They crossed them before and we will cross them again, if needs be.