What your RvB OTP says about you
((I saw a similar list, but it didn’t include a lot of my favorite ships and also I thought this would be fun. Sorry if any of this offends anyone: it’s all in good fun and just some observations I’ve noticed over the years about certain shippers. Let me know if I missed any other big ones!))
FUCK I FORGOT SISTER AND DR GREY
Tuckington: Chorus crew is best crew. Wash and Tucker are your all-time favorites and you’re so proud of how far Tucker has come. You probably hate/love Felix, there is no in-between.
Mainewash: You like to suffer; you have an addiction to fics that involve one of these two dying. You live for the Meta and Antagonist!Wash team-up. You probably ship Doc with them if you’re into polyam. Cat person.
Yorkalina: You adore York to the moon and back, and are honestly a sucker for “goofy person meets strict person and teaches them to have fun” pairings. You have a replica of York’s lighter that you’ve never used.
Grimmons: You deserve a Fandom Grandma/Grandpa mug, buddy. You’re so tired, and you’ve probably been here since at least season 6. One day it’ll be canon, you just know it. In the meantime, you’re suffering.
Churboose: My mom ships this so here we are. Caboose is the most perfect of good bois and you’re only watching rvb for him at this point. You’ve cried over Church every day of your life. You named a pet Freckles, probably.
Washlina: You are the most chill/sweet person in the entire goddamn fandom. Seriously, you’re so nice. You don’t care either way if it ends up canon, but the latest content is still very satisfying. You’re so kind, I love you.
Sargington: You’re having the time of your life and I’m so happy for you. Sarge is probably your favorite character, but Wash is a close second. You’re chill about other ships but this is the guilty fav; don’t feel guilty, you’re amazing.
Docnut: Precious cinnamon roll who is too good for this world, too pure. Doc when he’s doing the O’Malley voice is way too hot for you. You probably have written/daydreamed about these two having a farm together.
Pastrytrain: Congratulations for being a good person. The pinnacle of “I’m staying in my fucking lane” when it comes to fandom drama. I know you downloaded the Pastrytrain dating sim, don’t try to deny it.
Kimbalina: Never mind, you guys are the actual diehards for the Chorus trilogy. Carolina is your queen and she deserves the love that Kimball can bring into her life. That hand-holding scene is now your desktop background. Probably wlw.
Tucknut: Trans with an amazing sense of humor. You swear a lot and make more dirty jokes than you should, but people love that about you. Donut is your favorite but Tucker is funnier.
Churnut: Donut is your favorite. You hate that Church is dead and pray every single day that he’ll come back somehow. The Donut arc this season had you fucking THRIVING and I’m so happy for you.
Norkington: You’re either gay or trans or both, and that’s the tea. You’re still obsessed with the PFL seasons, despite how long it’s been. Your favorite version of Wash is the PFL rookie version.
Nork: Yeah, you’re gay, sis.
Flowarge: Where are y’all??? I know I’m not the only one. You want a sitcom of rvb that’s just Parks and Recreation but with power armor. Sarge is best dad and Flowers is your other, more dead dad.
Flyoming: You literally don’t need any canon evidence to ship something; if they breathe they’re in love. Florida is your fav, and tbh Wyoming isn’t even in the top ten, but you’re too into older men to care. Daddy issues.
WashCT: People claim you’re boring but tbh you have really good taste, everyone else just isn’t interested. Knives are one of your favorite things but odds are you don’t know how to throw them. You really miss CT.
SouthCT: The wlw energy is literally so powerful in your bones, congratulations. Team #SouthDidNothingWrong, as well as Team #CTDeservedBetter; you are correct on both accounts. South is best girl.
Southlina: Not sure where y’all are at, but you’re all about that powerful lesbian energy. You probably hate York; if not I’m sorry for saying that. On that note you probably hate the PFL seasons but you’re too desperate for content to complain.
Fucker: You little shit. You are 100% involved in fandom drama but you’re thriving regardless; it’s impossible for you to be affected by everyone telling you that you’re problematic. Tucker is your favorite, but Felix is hot af.
Locington: You say “Unfortunate” way too often but I love you nonetheless. You spent the entire hiatus between seasons 11 and 12 writing porn, and you damn well know. Hell, you’re probably proud of it. Locus is your fav.
Murdersandwich: Are you still here??? If you are, you’re braver than any us marine. Modern AUs where these three get together are your bread and butter. Tuckington is your second favorite ship.
Murdersandwich+Sharkface: You unapologetic, horny motherfucker. You’re living your best life while simultaneously sobbing into your pillow every night over Felix and Sharkface. Locington is your default fav, but this ship still rocks.
Lolix: Fandom veterans from the “Felix is problematic” wars and I salute you for your service. Here to have a good time, and ain’t nobody gonna stop you. You’ve probably written/thought about a “Felix lives” AU at extreme length.
Sharklina: Season 13 was so good in your opinion and you refuse to ever shut up about it. #SharkfaceDeservedBetter. You’re probably into punk aesthetics and you’ve made at least one playlist for these two.
Chex: #ChurchGetsPegged. Tex is your diehard fav and you will never in your life let RT forget that she exists. You’ll drag her out of her grave yourself if you fucking have to. You memorized Church’s speech from the end of rvb5.
Chucker: You cry each and every day about Church being dead. You’ve rewatched the BGC no less than twelve times, and that’s just this year. Everytime you see That Post, you reblog it. You know the one.
Sheipez: If Sheila were real you’d ask her to adopt you. Lopez is your current fav by default and you live for every moment he’s on screen. Caboose is your precious son and you’re willing to die for him.
Sex: You ship this purely because of the ship name. STFU, yes you fucking do. Tex is hot af and you love that one fancomic of sister without a bra on flirting with Tex.
Sucker: Despite popular opinion, you’re not as horny as everyone thinks you are. Sister is your favorite and Tucker isn’t even close but you love him regardless and think he fits well with Sister.
Suckington: I know you bastards are still here. Wash is your favorite but you love him being surrounded by these energetic shitheads who fill his life with energy and fun. Sister is best girl.
Greyington: I know for a fucking fact that this was a thing. Fucking sadist when it comes to your brand of porn, and Dr. Grey is your favorite character to ever exist.
Kimbones: You knew fuck all about Ladybones but you shipped her with Kimball anyways because you’re a thirsty wlw. You’ve probably moved onto Kimbalina by now, but we will not forget the season 11-12 horniness you unleashed on this fandom.
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