feels for chuck

I mean… the #MeToo movement is about holding powerful people accountable for how they’ve treated others, for how they’ve sexually harassed and abused people who had little recourse and were bullied into silence for so many years. I knew Kazinsky had the whole dick pic incident in his past because he’s spoken of it before. I believed what he said about it, but… did I believe him just because I like him? How do I justify believing him when I fully believe victims that have come forward with their stories?

It’s entirely possible that I’m soft-soaping him because he’s a favorite, and I didn’t want to do that. So I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to sound like a hypocrite.

Now that he’s issued his own public apology, though, I’m making myself look very closely at my motives here, and here’s what I think.

He was outed and humiliated for his actions AT THE TIME. He was suspended from and eventually left the #1 show in the UK because of it. It ruined his personal life and damn near destroyed his career. He’s said several times that it was stupid to send her a dick pic and he didn’t even know why he did it (never once acted like he HADN’T done it or tried to cover it up), but he heavily regretted it. He was ashamed of himself, ashamed that he’d embarrassed his parents who were so proud of him, etc.

Isn’t that what the #MeToo movement is about? Making sure these abusers face consequences for what they’ve done to people?

Rob Kazinsky has spent a decade trying to rebuild his reputation and his career and hasn’t done anything like that since. He has done the work. And he definitely supports the outing of users and abusers and has for years. He’s been harassed by men in power positions himself, and he’s standing with his girlfriend, Chloe Dykstra, while she tells her story about her abusive relationship.

I don’t want to soft-soap or erase what he’s done, but he has paid greatly for it and has learned from it. He’s trying to support other people who have suffered from abuse.

And now, 11 years later, he’s apologizing to the woman he wronged. He’s not making excuses. He’s not even pointing out that he already lived his consequences. He’s just plain apologizing.

I have to think that’s what the #MeToo movement is about. I have to think that’s the result we should be aiming for (although, for worse crimes like rape and physical abuse, there should absolutely be criminal consequences, like for Weinstein, Depp, et al.), right?

Or am I just rationalizing the situation because he seems like a sincere, genuine kind of guy and he’s a nerd like us? I honestly don’t know.

But I THINK… he’s trying to do the right thing and has been for over a decade.

Got a new URL and in order to celebrate I’m gonna put this here (I did it for twitter but). Thoughts?