Be gentle with yourself.

Hi, you can call me Torani. I am 29, a Pisces, and my pronouns are They/She. I am Pansexual and my gender identity is one big question mark at this point

I have been formally diagnosed with ADHD, BPD, and B.E.D and later, OSFED. This is your first and final warning that there likely will be mentions of my struggles with food and my weight on this blog, in addition to me venting about my mental illnesses and struggles with that. So PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK.

And I guess this should go without saying but I am medically obese.. I am trying to lose the weight equivalent of another adult on top of college, work, and maintaining a relationship. This is all very hard and this is my only place to vent.

Im sending love and virtual hugs to anyone who reads all of this and those who just stumble across my page. I hope you can all find recovery, you are all worthy of living a full, healthy, happy life. And my inbox is always open if you need a listening ear.

My tags are

#torani rambles

#torani vents

Calling all besties!

You just told me you feel like a parent to me and I am supposed to just not react or have any feelings towards it?

How do u figure that?

I cannot sit in silence, because then that causes conflict.

I can't try to just own up and take it on the chin, because then it gets misconstrued as I'm being some other way.

I can't have emotions about it because then its an argument.

You can just say whatever you like to me, however you like to me and I'm supposed to just take it and do what?

I still have feelings you know.

It still hurts my feelings.

You say and do some things that get on my nerves too. But I dont jump down your throat like you jump down mine.

I dont treat you like an incompetent fool.

I dont make you feel less than.

I dont make snide comments towards you.

But somehow its your birthright and because you are you, what you say and how u say it goes. And to hell with anyone that cant take it.

I dont know what to say. Is it worth saying anything? I dont know

I know I am not perfect, i am a human of many flaws. However, I feel like I give you much more grace and understanding than you give me.

It disappoints me.

Life update: I am engaged! My partner of almost 6 years asked me to marry him and I said yes. I am very happy.

Having said that, I've gained more weight and am suffering with plantar pain. Needless to say, xmas is over and its time to lock tf in.

Nursing school starts next week. EEK