evie

cds 💿 are so cool its literally a cirlcle 🔵 that has music 🎶 in its heart......

invented a new word today. its 'plagiarism'. im a genius i know

if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.

i think there is something fundamentally wrong with me but that's okay

I'm going to fix everything in the next three hours everyone wish me luck. if i dont then probably ill dig a hole and lie down in it for a bit in the rain/sun/whatever outside looks like these days

the hole isnt even that bad

actually I think you should be normal about ordinary citizens of authoritarian countries and yes that applies even to that country you're thinking of right now

One day ur a suicidal 15 year old and then suddenly you wake up and you're 22 years old and genuinely debating the merits of iceberg vs romaine lettuce in the salad ur making. Life goes on ig

i have a suggestion

ive never been able to take "climb him like a tree" as a sexual innuendo seriously because i picture climbing a tree in my mind and then i picture a tall man in my mind and when i put those two things together im not seeing anything sexual. im seeing like. circus tricks.

(girl who is already extremely private) i think i need to Move In More Silence

Did you hear a new love language just dropped? yeah its crazy. Its called just fuckin biting them.

reblogging this but shaking my head the whole time to show i don't believe in love languages

(flirting) I could worship you in ways that would make churches look useless.

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!