C A S S A N D R A'S C_A_V_E

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

There's always a moment of intense cultural whiplash whenever I realize I'm talking to someone who thinks "legal" and "illegal" are meaningful categories and ascribes innate goodness to following the law. It's like meeting a space alien.

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

will never forget: one time, I went to the hospital because I was concerned about my heart--specifically, irregular heartbeat. so they hooked up a bunch of machines to me and monitored my heartbeat, then told me everything is normal except 'whenever someone enters or leaves the room your heart rate increases rapidly'. literally just #scared