Christian Homes & Family Services

Posted on March 11, 2014

We LOVE this touching poem and thought you would too!

Written by: Robin Coe, a Christian Homes & Family Services’ Foster Mom

Posted on Christian Homes’ Blog on March 10, 2014

             My friend says that at the birth of each of her children, her mother comes into the hospital room and as she holds that newest little person in their family, the praise just pours out of her. Unplanned. Out loud. A grandmother’s benediction—a heavenly hallelujah—a baby’s first blessing.

           She starts at the top of their head and delights all the way to the tips of their toes. She thanks God for His incredible creation, for all these babies already are and all they are going to be as they find their place in the great big world.

              I am sad sometimes that I do not get to be there for my foster baby’s birth day. Often, when I see the date on the paperwork I wonder what I was doing the day this little life came into the world.

              I was probably wrapped up in everyday things. I was probably just going about my ordinary day while something extraordinary was happening. Somewhere, in a hospital room not too far from my house, a mother was laboring.

              She might not have had anyone to hold her hand or soothe her but she probably thought she and the baby were all going to go home together, a new little family, and a fresh start.

  Some good in a lot of bad.

Some happy in a lot of hard.

                And then a tiny baby entered the world and at some point was whisked away for safety reasons. Sometimes for a little while, but often for months or years and sometimes for forever. Then a call comes and a new baby arrives to my home, to my arms and right into my heart. And when they arrive, after the rush of paperwork and phone calls and meetings, after everyone else is gone and the house is still and I have that precious baby nestled into me; I study them and my heart maps the dearness of them.

              And it is in that moment that I remember the benediction. Maybe there was a big celebration over them already or maybe no one has delighted in them yet.

              Maybe their Mama was too sick or scared or strung out to speak life over them. Maybe she didn’t know the words to a blessing because her own Mama never spoke anything but cursing over her. Or maybe she did rejoice and bless and praise—I will probably never know. I can only wonder and guess.  

              I am too aware that this baby may only be mine for a little while but while they are with me, I will speak Jesus into their tiny ears. I will sing about Him as I rock them in my arms, and I will pray protection over them for all their days. I will ask God to make the path straight for their feet so that they will come to know Him early as their very own. Even if I am not the one who is there beside them on the day they run to Him and invite Him into their lives.

              The truth is for most of my foster babies I will be nothing more to them than a name on some paperwork and a stranger holding them in a picture in their baby book. Nevertheless, I grow to love them like they were born to me.

              And because I love them, I pray for the family that has lost them and for the family that God chooses to raise them—whether biological or adoptive—whether it is my home or another’s. That they will have all the essentials necessary to raise this little life up to be a world changer. And to be all the things this baby will someday need no matter what those needs may be. I can’t choose where these babies go once they move away and though it’s hard, I have no right to see them again. But my heart is theirs and my prayers follow them all their days!

              So for me and for those Mamas who have no choice but to entrust their little ones to my arms and for those babies that I nurture—I bless them. Unplanned and out loud. I start at the top of their downy baby head and thank God for perfection. For such beauty even from brokenness. For wide eyes and a button nose and that perfect rosebud mouth. For soft skin and dimples. For sleepy smiles and kissable cheeks. For gentle coos. For delicate little fingers. For a tummy that will always be filled and will never know the hollowness of hunger. For belly laughs. For chubby legs that wiggle and kick and for those oh so tiny toes! I delight in them completely even if it is infinitesimal compared to the way the Heavenly Father delights in them and in me and in their Mama who misses them so.

Posted September 12, 2013

Recently, we posted a list of 10 books about adoption for children that we love to Christian Homes' facebook page and we just wanted to share a little more! Here is a list of 12 books for little ones about adoption that we love! Hope you love some of them too!

If you click on the title of each book it will show you where the book can be purchased!

A BLESSING FROM ABOVE This book is so near and dear to everyone’s heart at Christian Homes & Family Services! In this touching story, a kangaroo prays for a baby to love and hold. One day, as she rests under a tree, a baby bird falls out of its crowded nest—plop!—right into her pouch!  What we love so much about this story is that that the momma bird sees her nest is too crowded too. Momma-Roo and Little One thank God for all their blessings . . . but especially for each other.

A MOTHER FOR CHOCO A Mother for Choco is a story about a lonely, little bird who goes in search of a mother. He asked all kinds of animals about his mother, searching for a mother who looks like him, but instead the little bird is blessed with a mother and siblings who look nothing like him.

SEARCHING FOR THE YOU WE ADORE In this incredibly illustrated story, love circles the globe climbing with pandas and swimming with dolphins searching for a child that is already so very loved from afar.

WE BELONG TOGETHER This sweet story is all about sharing your home and sharing your heart to make a family that belongs together. “We Belong Together” is a good and simple one for a squirmy toddler. (Meaning that it's not too long and actually holds their interest!)

MOMMY'S HEART WENT POP Although this book is more geared towards international adoptions, this story does a wonderful job of bringing out the beauty of adoption to the entire family through a simple story of love for a child. Adopted children want to know their story. Siblings want to know what to expect. Parents want to know how to convey the deep love they feel.

GOD FOUND US YOU This one is very similar to I Wished for You but with foxes instead of bears. What is so great about this book is that it is not specifically geared toward international or an infant adoption or a child adopted through foster care but is just about adoption in general!

I WISHED FOR YOU The story is a sweet conversation between a mama and her baby, and covers the details of about adoption from waiting, birth moms, looking different to the joy that comes when your child is finally in your arms.

TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT THE NIGHT I WAS BORN If you haven't read on of Jamie Lee Curtis' (an adoptive mama herself) and Laura Cornell's books yet then you’re missing out!. This book is darling, in asking her parents to tell her again about the night she was born, a young girl shows that it is a cherished tale that she knows by heart.

OVER THE MOON This book is more geared towards an international adoption but it has some really fun pictures and shares some details about one adoptive family’s beginnings.

THERE’S NO ONE LIKE YOU The story talks about a birthmother that loved their little cub so much and did what was best... “There's No One Like You” conveys love, acceptance, and a sense of individuality to children who were adopted. However this book might be better for children who are a tad bit older…. 5 to 10 years old might be best.

WELCOME HOME LITTLE BABY This book is really simple, but it's especially a great one if you’re talking with a soon-to-be older sibling about adoption and what it means. Short and sweet!

MOTHERBRIDGE OF LOVE What I love most about this touching story is that it tributes both the birth and adoptive mothers. It illustrates how the love of two women for one child come together to make the child who she is...the result of both of their love.

Written by: The Jaquas, Christian Homes & Family Services Adoptive Parents on February 16, 2012

Posted on Christian Homes’ Blog on August 19, 2013 

Well, the past two and a half weeks have been nothing short of amazing. There are so many adjectives we could use to describe what it's been like to welcome our sweet boy into our lives and home, but none quite seem adequate. It's been amazing. We are truly having the time of our lives. He has been such a sweet kiddo and is eating and sleeping (praise Him) really well! The last post was right before we left for Abilene, and A LOT has happened since then obviously. We'll focus this post on the hospital experience and the trip home. We'll be posting more in the near future now that we somewhat have our feet underneath us with this parenting thing (knock on wood). Well, our time in Abilene for Lawson's arrival was absolutely incredible. If you would've given us a pen and paper and told us to write out exactly how we would like those two days to go, whatever we came up with wouldn't have come close to how awesome everything ended up. It was two days filled with joy, anticipation, celebration, love, and gratitude. It definitely had it's share of nervousness and fear, but a hospital full of nurses right outside your room is a great buffer for the MANY times we wondered if something was normal (it always was, haha). We arrived at the hospital the morning of Lawson's birth feeling a little uneasy and nervous simply because we had no idea how the day was going to end up looking. At that point we were still unsure if SB would get to be in the room for the delivery and if we were going to have a room at the hospital to stay in with Lawson for the two days. After what seemed like three hours (actually about 25 minutes) we were told that SB would get to be in the room. What an amazing bit of news to hear. It was so dang exciting. The crazy thing is that we were told this about ten minutes before the C-section was going to happen. It was a bit of a whirlwind to say the least. They showed us to a private pre-op room where SB threw on her scrubs, got briefed by the doctors, and off she went. Our families were on standby to come up to the hospital to wait with Jeremy if SB got to be in the room, so they quickly arrived to watch as Jeremy paced back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, for the duration of the operation. And then all of a sudden, our son was in the world. He weighed in at 8 pounds and 11 ounces and was 19 1/4 inches long. SB got to go with him to the nursery for all of his checks, his first feeding, and first bath. Jeremy had to watch anxiously from the window. But what an incredibly special moment it was to look at our son together for the first time. Our boy is just so awesome. Three girls were born that same morning and when they were brought into the nursery they were all laying there SCREAMING and Lawson was laying there quiet and calm as could be enjoying his heat lamp (he's not about the drama). We quickly found out we would be getting a room for the two days at the hospital and were so excited. The next two days were so wonderful. Our first middle of the night feedings, first dirty diapers, first time to get peed on (sorry, but it's just a baby boy reality), and first wonderful morning family times. Lawson's birthmom recovered really well from the C-section, and spent some time each day with Lawson and with us. We were so happy that she wanted to spend time with him and we were so grateful to have gotten to spend some time with her and her family. It was certainly an emotional and difficult time, but it was amazing to see the Lord provide and care for everyone through so many different ways in such a potentially awkward or even scary time. So Thursday FINALLY arrived. The day we would get to bring our son home. There is not space on a blog like this to effectively convey all that we felt and experienced on this day. It was such a range of emotions, all equally intense, but with completely different tones and roots. On one hand we both began to feel more than we ever had, the weight of what Lawson's birthmom was about to do and experience. Our hearts were broken for her. On the other hand, Lawson was about to be our son, placed in our arms to take to our home forever. He was ours. The result of all of this was a great deal of crying. It was honestly a welcomed thing. We needed the release of all of that emotion. To just let it out. To weep into each other's and our parent's arms as we marveled at the story that God has been and is currently writing for us, Lawson, and Lawson's birthmom. It was a worshipful moment to remember and find comfort in God's presence, control, and ability to care for all of us. So he was ours. We were so ready to get him home. We packed up, loaded up, and put him in his first outfit for the trek home. Our son is here. We are overjoyed, and so grateful to our amazing Father for writing such an incredible story. We can't imagine our home without him after only two weeks. We'll get another post up soon about Lawson meeting all of his new friends and family. For now, we are thankful to tell the story of his arrival into the world and into our family. God is good. God is so so good.

Written by: Robin Coe, Christian Homes & Family Services' Foster Mom

Posted on Christian Homes’ Blog on August 6, 2013

There was a time that I couldn’t fathom fostering ever being a fit for our family. In the myriad of misgivings, more than anything, I couldn’t imagine bringing a brother or sister connection into my children’s hearts only to ask them to say goodbye with no rights to ever see that brother or sister again. There was a time when I thought I couldn’t do that to my kids.

On the day that Foster Baby #1 went away, I gave the kids a chance to say goodbye. She was freshly bathed, adorably dressed and tucked into her car seat. I was taking the kids to school and then the baby to the caseworker. I dreaded it; I didn’t want to give up a baby that I had been told was “mine”. I didn’t want to fall apart in front of the kids and I didn’t know how they were going to handle going to school if the whole thing was too emotional. Without prompting, both of my amazing kids got on their knees on either side of the baby and each placed a hand gently on her head. Then their sweet prayers came and I bit back my tears.

“Dear God, We love this baby. Please help her new family love her as much as we do…” my daughter’s prayer was short and simple but echoed the heart’s cry of our whole family. Then my son’s voice joined in, strong and sure, ending with “And God? Please let her new family be Christians so that she can be raised to know you and love you . . . and so that we will get to see her again one day in heaven.”

In a moment of true childlike faith, profound blessings were spoken over Baby #1’s life and a prayer was raised that I am still trusting God to answer—because He is good and because He promises good things to those who love Him.

I won’t pretend there weren’t tears in the days that followed. Having a child move from your home to somewhere unknown is almost like a death. The toys are silent in the toy box and the absence shouts from every corner of the house. The memory of them lingers and with it comes the aching reminder of all you have lost, past, present and especially future.

But just as spring follows winter, after enough time the “remember whens” begin. Smiles appear as we all recount the funny things the baby did that made us all laugh. And in my experience, healing comes in the wake of remembering.

We have always tried to be a charity focused family. We pack the shoe boxes at Christmas, we buy products that donate life-changing goods and life-giving services to kids across the world, we contribute money to people who are trying to share the gospel in faraway lands or to those who are bringing home orphans. We donate to our local food banks as well as organizations that go into third world environments to give a hand up to the people there instead of a handout.

But this last year, our idea of a mission field went from being a place we prayed about for others and donated to and instead it moved into our home. Even though the surroundings are comfortable and the sights are familiar, missions by definition is about sacrificial living for someone else’s good and foster care {done right} is sacrifice in its most basic form.

It is about taking care of someone else’s needs all while teaching them about bonding, love, security and laughter. It is whispering “you are safe now” to a frightened child. It is about the most unglamorous parts of motherhood like dirty diapers, dirty bottles, spit-up covered shirts, and baby food splatters. It is about doctor’s appointments, it is about visits with CASA, caseworkers and lawyers. It is about paperwork and court dates and parental and sibling visits right in the middle of your own busy family schedule. And yes, sometimes it is about falling in love with a child that you cannot keep and letting go of a child that would be yours in a heartbeat if you only had the right to make that happen.

But I must say, small miracles have sprinkled down on our family and in all of the busy-ness, the changes, the concessions, the hellos and goodbyes, I have watched my children transform into missionaries. A year later, my once sort-of-self focused kids are now freely giving of their time and energy without any coaxing on my part. They are willing to share their Mom and Dad with a little stranger knowing that in some ways the child in our home may require a larger quantity of our time for a season.

In all of this, I have watched my children turn into a big brother and big sister who nurture babies with lavish affection and attention. I have watched them gain patience and learn to be sensitive to another person who might need voices lowered or a toy picked up that will only be dropped again and again. I have watched my son turn into a gentle-man as he speaks softly to a baby who needs reassurance and patiently repeats “Patta-Cake” as many times as there is a baby’s encouraging smile and patting hands. I have watched my daughter turn into a little Mama as she learns important things like holding and feeding a baby as I sit nearby coaching her in a role she will fill so well someday with little ones of her own.           

Both of them are growing. My daughter has “foster” baby dolls that the invisible caseworker tells her she gets to adopt and my son talks about the next foster baby that might come into our home. Both have said they think they want to grow up to foster children of their own someday…

Posted on June 20, 2013

Just a little reminder of how wonderfully God works! This is from one of our adoptive parents.

I thought you’d love to hear this. Mark (our 11 year old) crashed on his bike and dislocated his knee (don't love this part).  He had to go to the doctor and they told us that his skinny little thigh muscles aren't firing.  This means that either his brain shut the muscles down to protect the knee or that the patella tendon is damaged and the muscles don't know to respond. 

So he had to have an MRI.  Our insurance deductible hadn't been met so our part of the MRI is $481.00. With homeschool starting back up we had spent a bunch on curriculum , our electric bill was higher than usual because of the high temperatures  and we recently had some car trouble.  And our emergency fund had yet to be replenished.  

 I had to call my husband from the doctor's office to tell him about the unexpected expense.  He said "I am sorry you will have to get it out of the adoption fund savings - we will work on making it up later."  I hung up and started to call the bank, and my phone rang.  It was our attorney from mediation with Josh's wife.  I thought - ugh.  But he said "HEY JANICE!  I OWE you guys $482.00!  Your retainer account was more than your court fees!"   I laughed and said  "How often do you make this kind of phone call?"  and he said "This is my first time!"  

Posted on May 1, 2013

Sunday evening, Christian Homes & Family Services’ Cindy Miller, was honored with the One Person Can Make A Difference Award by the Christian Child and Family Services Association at the association's annual conference being held this week in Granbury.

Cindy has worked for Christian Homes for nearly 30 years as a Social Services Assistant, assisting the Vice President of Social Services, Director of Adoption Services and the Foster Care Caseworker. Being an adoptive parent herself, she provides firsthand knowledge to those couples in the various stages of the adoption process, offering encouragement and an empathetic ear to anxious couples. 

Cindy has always gone above and beyond the duties outlined in her job description.  She has come in to the office early and stayed late countless times over the years. She possesses a work ethic that demonstrates her love for the Agency and its ministry and her desire to honor God.  She has been a friend and mentor, opening her heart and her home to a number of our birth mothers and making a difference in their lives.  She is truly a blessing to Christian Homes and those we serve. If you would like to congratulate Cindy and thank her for 30 years of service, her email address is [email protected]. Snail mail should be sent to 1202 Estates Drive Abilene, Texas 79602.

Posted April 26, 2013

I’ve been with Christian Homes for some time now, but there is one birth mom I will never forget, one birth mom who absolutely expanded my view on ministering and love. I first met this sweet birth mom when I had only been working with Christian Homes for a couple of weeks but she made a lasting impression. Destiny, (let’s just call her that for privacy sake) came to Abilene to live in our maternity apartments while she made her adoption plan. I met her during a game night that we often have at the maternity apartments where we get together for dinner, games and just a fun night. I immediately noticed she was quite, but before long I got to see how just plain hilarious she was too. She was funny in the way a person can be funny and not know that they’re funny. One of the first things she said to me was something like…

“Mmm girl if you keep eating cookies like that your behind aint gonna look like it does for long. If ya don’t believe me then just take a look, I’m proof of a couple too many cookies.” And then picked up my cookie off my plate but assured me she was taking it because the baby needed it more than I did.

 I was somewhat stunned by the first comment and then a little irritated that she took off with cookie. I walked after her and sat down next to her at her table in hopes of reclaiming my stolen cookie. And from that we stroke up a conversation!

Fast forward…. Destiny talked to me about that fact that she would be going though labor and delivery by herself. The birth father was not in the picture and her family would not be there either – and she asked me if I would be there at the hospital with her and be in the delivery room with her. At first I was honored that she would think of me and wanted me to be the one to support her, and then I was immediately petrified. I myself have not been pregnant and therefore I haven’t gone through labor and delivery and the thought of supporting someone else while they did it seemed terrifying, not mention I’m someone who does NOT do well with the sight of blood at all. Although somewhat hesitant, I agreed.

The condensed and not so graphic version was that she was induced, in hopes of an early delivery because her blood pressure was getting too high, inducing didn’t work so they ended up taking the baby by C-Section. At the end of the day a perfectly healthy baby boy was born, Destiny was doing great, and I learned/saw firsthand entirely way too much medical information regarding the entire process.

Since Destiny’s baby was born before her due date and since the adoptive parents she chose lived out of state, the adoptive parents weren’t there when he was born but got to Abilene the next day. By law in Texas, a birth mom has to wait 48 hours after delivery to sign her relinquishment of parental rights. I stayed with her during those 48 hours.

We were sitting in her hospital room and she was holding her sweet boy when she looked at me said,

“This is hard. I am going to leave this hospital without him, without a piece of myself… But I love him too much.”

I was confused… BUT I love him too much? Why didn’t she say “I love him so much”? Why did she say but? I think she could see I was trying to think through what she just said… when she replied to the wheels turning in my head.

“I love him too much not to give him more. I love him too much not to want him to grow up with not only a mom but also a dad. I love him too much not to put his needs before my wants… I just love him too much.”

I was speechless and moved to tears. This young girl completely changed my view on love. Since the first day Destiny called our Pregnancy Helpline, I thought we were the ones ministering to her, turns out it was the other way around and I didn’t even know it until that moment.