Patrolling The Mojave Almost Makes You Wish For…

im not a people pleaser anymore im a huge cunt now

me after setting one (1) boundary

no one is coming to save you its true its true someone might be coming to hang outttttttttt though. someday

i never watched curb so life, larry and the pursuit of unhappiness is all new for me and i am deeply enjoying old man larry's shenanigans in american history with his celebrity friends

When I quoted atyd in ethics and my teacher asked for a source 😔

I'm usually lukewarm on "fandom + text posts" but the thing about M*A*S*H is that Hawkeye literally just talks like that. The posts will work for the other characters but so often I will see a post pinned on a screencap of Hawkeye and I can so clearly envision him saying the whole thing, with only minor edits for slang/cadence, if any in the first place. I don't know how to explain it if you haven't seen the show, but I know if you have you'll understand intuitively. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce was born to be a tumblrina and instead he was stuck in Korea a hundred years ago.

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

I love how some fics are called shit like "They Only Shoot The Birds Who Cannot Sing" and it's like the most insane porn you're ever read and then some fics are called Spit On Me and it's 18,000 words of the most achingly id-scratching prose you've ever read and they're both. They're both so fucking good. thank God for fanfiction.

Sometimes you get a brief glimpse into the American worldview and decide that you don't want to know.

I cannot stress enough that this meme is entirely literal. there's no reference or subtext you don't know. these are simply the objectively most popular works of art from each denomination.