Cuckold and in love

My sexual desires are considered taboo according to religious and social ideals in my country. Raised catholic (Christian) I was sexually repressed. I was like this for almost 30 years but my husband needed more. I already knew this but didn’t realize the extent of it until one day almost 5 years ago he told me that he masturbated every single day and that caught my attention. From that moment I tossed all the negative I’d been taught surrounding anything sexual and naked bodies. I was fearful of him leaving me or divorcing me. I felt bad that I denied him the sexual needs he had for our whole married lives. I wasn’t being the wife he needed and deserved. I started watching porn every day. For hours at times. It perked my interest so our once a week sex became twice a week then 3 then 4 and on…..

After the moment he told me it was like a light switch. Nothing was taboo and I would do whatever it took to make him happy. I allowed myself to explore the desires I had since I was a little girl. I used to make my barbies have rough sex. I tingled at any TV images depicting women being raped or forced but always denying thinking it was wrong. I felt guilt and shame about my feelings of arousal from women being treated badly for sex. But at the moment Sir told me how sexually frustrated he was, it was like my brain suddenly opened up. I gave myself permission to explore and enjoy sexual things. No longer a slave to the oppression almost all women feel about sex in our country. I said to myself….“fuck these negative ideals! I’m a grown ass woman and I’m not going to hell if I enjoy sex with my husband!” I feel very strongly about my self enlightenment and I have preached it in my writings.

The key word is “willingness”

Once a person is willing, open to sex and naked bodies, it can become life changing. I am very passionate about having a healthy sexuality and I want to spread the word. I thought about writing a book but it would require a lot of editing my experiences otherwise it would just be erotica. As for now, I continue to learn about myself and grow, embracing my sexuality hoping that sharing my experiences may inspire others. Sex is a positive wonderful thing and I will never deny my feelings again.

Lisa Marie