cute as fuck

Tag your Valentine so they know they are fucking special. #happyvalentinesday #valentines

Hey it's #Phil time for #movietalk discuss your fav movies in comment plz I like Looper and tomorrow land

Bruh this dude dressed way too much like a Mortal Kombat character so I made this video with the music 😂 #finishhim

Hey next time just type exactly what you typed into Twitter but do it at Google.com. Or just go to the link in my Instagram bio for all shows. Always.

#phil

#largeeyes

Phil

🇯🇵🈵🈲🉐💮㊙️㊗️🈴🈷🈺🈶🈚️🈸🈹🈳

I mean come the fuck on. No. No. No. 100% Don't have that be happening. 🚫🍁 (at Edmonton, Alberta)

Thank you Calgary. I love you? #diplo (at Calgary, Alberta)

El Rey Theater - 2/3/16 (at El Rey Theater)

Photo by @randallslavin. Btw the thing that is plugged in to my left in that wall socket is a toaster. I stick a fork in that before every photoshoot to get my chest hair to peak out of my shirt like that. 🍴

Photo by @randallslavin. Btw the thing that is plugged in to my left in that wall socket is a toaster. I stick a fork in that before every photoshoot to get my chest hair to peak out of my shirt like that. 🍴

Holy shit ya know? Hahaha. Don't miss the Backstreet Boys with us this Friday. Check out my pipes here. I'm the best in the crew it's official. #undateablelive

💯🔪 (at Hollywood Walk of Fame)

Eat your heart out @ddlovato. Tune in January 28 to #lipsyncbattle to see plenty of high kicks and also my chest. Magic Chris.

This picture. What is he WEARING? He's so WHITE. Where the fuck is this asshole GOING? NoVille? Is he almost at Nopetown? Because he is looking like he is on a mission! This motherfucker looks like what would happen if I watched a documentary on the Hitler Youth and then watched The Martian and then fell asleep and I would dream this dickhead. Straight up why is Dolph Lundgren dressed like the aluminum that connects air vents? He's like, "After this runway shit I'm gonna hide in some rafters and spy on some people that know what to do fashion-wise so I don't have to wear this shit anymore and can learn what looks good. This shit is so 90s I swear. It's so 90s, Diddy saw it and changed his name back to Puffy in 5 seconds. And he did it LEGALLY. Like it took 5 seconds with all the paperwork and filing involved. Then people called him Diddy still and he was like "It's back to Puffy" and when they asked why he just showed them this picture and they were like "I get it." Also this dude skis EVERYWHERE and you know it. If a destination cannot be reached by skis this man will NOT travel there. Meaning he's never been to an airport, a mall, a beach... Everywhere he's been has been downhill. Someone invited him higher up on a mountain once and he literally laughed HARD for 23 minutes and people kept asking him "Jannick (obviously his name) what's so funny?" When he caught his breathe he ended up saying "Do I look like a fucking asshole? Only invite me downhill so I can ski there." Every Die Hard would have ended with the bad guys winning if this guy was on the enemy side. Honestly even if it was written so Bruce Willis won, when they started filming, this guy would have just kicked everyone's ass and sold arms and drugs to the whole world. He's SO DIE HARD. Bruce Willis actually wanted to do the next 4 Die Hards but only if this dude was the bad guy. He said no though because he couldn't ski to set so they scrapped the projects. This dude is so white if he came inside a woman named Ella, nine months later lint would out and that shit would be Jannick Jr. After seeing this I got mad. I wanna punch everyone who doesn't wear a shirt and jeans. Fuck this. Fuck fashion.