♡u♡

every one of my followers gets a little bowl of soup from the pot bubbling in the middle of my blog and a slice of bread with homemade butter on the side

thank god for breasts *remembers im atheist* thank science for breasts

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

imagine if public transit ran 24/7........ in my beautiful world

is anyone else their father’s female son

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.