dₑfₑcₜᵢᵥₑ

jiho can see chinae in his mind’s eye even as he turns away, processors not releasing the image of other and filing it away. there’s nothing familiar about him, nothing to suggest any connection prior to his repairs, and yet he’s already replaying the interaction from the second they met. he attributes it to his empathizing protocol given he’s part accomo-droid. chinae is visibly upset because he no longer holds any memory of their interactions but there is little he can do about it since his presence is causing the upset itself.

these are the explanations he’s giving himself when chinae hugs him. it’s sudden and causes him to still in place. the contact of chinae’s chest pressed to his back last for only a moment and yet, in that space of time, jiho feels his ticker speed up, the core of him registering the slightest heightening of degrees. he’s still as stone even when chinae has pulled away, the other’s soft voice reaching him finally.

“it’s… okay…” he says, head turning to look at chinae once more, ticker sputtering a bit in his chest. he hesitates only briefly before replying, “goodbye… sounds really final, yes?” he pauses before adding with a small smile, “see you around some time, chinae.” he nods his head, still rooted in place, before finally turning and walking away. each step seems strangely heavy but he chalks it up to the brief malfunction– perhaps he’s in need of a update or a scan.

chinae has already viewed this meeting twice in his mind,, and he wants to erase it. everything about it hurts but he can’t seem to stop playing it over and over again. even with jiho still standing before him. he wants to keep him there as long as possible,, in hopes that he can somehow get jiho to remember. a lot of thoughts going through chinae’s mind but he knows he can’t. jiho’s still with yongchul and he knows how much trouble he can get into. clearly.

he feels bad instantly the moment he has his arms circled around the other’s torso but he can’t help it. he craves the touch from jiho so badly,, but this isn’t his jiho and he needs to remember that. his fingers gently grip the material of jiho’s clothing before he’s pulled away from him. his ticker having sped up incredibly and despite not actually crying,, his lower lip trembles. but he bites into instead so that it can’t be seen. 

 chinae watches him as he turns his head,, his hands shoving into the pockets of the hoodie he wears to stop him from reaching out and pulling jiho back into another hug. because it’s what he really wants to do. opens his mouth to reply. because he feels like this IS final. though he doesn’t voice that opinion. he nods. “ yeah. see you around. “ he mumbles and when jiho finally starts walking away,, chinae can do nothing but stand frozen to the spot and watch him disappear.

   chinae found himself waiting for a bit until he knew it was around the usual time they’d meet before he left. he was more excited than he thought he would be. well,, more excited than he should be. he shouldn’t feel things like this. he knows deep down that it’s wrong,, yet at the same time from the minute they’d met jiho didn’t have it in him to care. he loved jiho. the other droid was all that  mattered to him and he didn’t want to hide it.  so with the little gift box neatly wrapped chinae walks to the destination he knows they’ll meet and he sits down  and the little box sits on his lap.  he zones in a few other people who are just clearly in their own world,, much like he seems to be. he then decides not to draw attention to himself and he looks down,, gaze focusing on his wrapped gift for jiho. he isn’t particularly sure if the other droid will like it but he hopes he does,, it’s not as if it’s something extravagent. just something he might appreciate. he had kept the flowers he’d been given,, so he’d thought of this as  something in return. he’s so focused on bothering or not if jiho will like it he doesn’t even see him.       

“i suppose they do…” the more he stands there, the more it occurs to jiho that he could be making things worse on the other. the other male is visibly affected by his lack of memory of him and he isn’t at all sure what to do about it. he has a dictation for providing comfort but there’s a noticeable absence for helping comfort someone in this kind of situation. there seems to be little that can be said or done on his part which means he should take his leave before his presence becomes more burdensome. and yet… he still remains, feet almost magnetized to the spot.

“a few times?” he echoes back, nodding his head. “i see.” he falls quiet, eyes glancing away from the male in front of him and in the direction he should be walking to go back to yongchul before returning to the other. “i should be going soon…” he murmurs, pausing a moment, head tilting curiously, “if i may ask… what is your name? perhaps we’ll meet again sometime.”

chinae doesnt say much else to that,, he nods because he cant think of what he wants to say. yet he has a few ideas of what he could say however nothing quickly comes to mind. his eyes have avoided looking at jiho for now because he genuinely cant stand the feeling he feels deeply and he closes his eyes for a moment. he needs to leave,, so he can deal and process this new emotions. he finally looks back at jiho and he stares at him mesmerized for those few minutes that he doesnt say anything else.

"a few times" he says quietly,, he hates that hes lying. hates it because hes never had to lie to jiho about anything. he falls quiet too and cant think of anything to say. his gaze falls but then snaps back up too and his mouth opens to say something but he falls short of words again. " ....... oh. okay. sorry for keeping you. " he breathes out. he goes to take a step back and then looks up at jiho again. " it's chinae. yeah perhaps we will. " he Hope's but he knows it wont be the same.

( > ) 

he clears his throat. “ae, i’m a droid too.” he looks at him seriously, head tilted a fraction as if studying chinae’s reaction to his words. he wonders if he’ll be believed right off.

chinae waits patiently,, he can see whatever it is that dowon wants to say is a struggle. " take your time. " he says. he’s a patient person,, or droid. he knows how to wait for things and he can more or less sense the awkwardness. so he chooses to look back out at the park while dowon tries his best to say what he needs to say. 

his head only turns back to dowon when his name is spoken again. he isn’t sure what’s needed to be said to comfort the other,,  he wants to know what’s important enough or scary enough for him to stumblr or not be able to get his words out and his head lolls to the side and he offers a somewhat comforting smile in hopes that it helps. 

he blinks,, stares and waits for a minute to see if there’s anything wrong with that particular statement. it confuses him. “ you are ? “ he asks.