SENTENCE MEME ā¶ 8 OUT OF 10 CATS DOES COUNTDOWN / 18.1
always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
āhe went to an all-boys boarding school. i assume.ā
āheās duller than the pain i feel in my left testicle.ā
āare you good at the numbers?ā
āwhen i was younger i had a real good sense of maths and english, and then the internet was invented and i got a bit distracted.ā
āi have no skills when it comes to adding or words.ā
āit sort of came across a bit like i was your dad.ā
āiām wearing odd socks. iām not, but imagine the gasps if i said it.ā
āi donāt want to surprise people.ā
āyou want a tedious man in a cardigan to winge until you leave and feel better about the life you left behind when you came in.ā
āthere are rumours that you collect things.ā
āhave you been in my house?ā
āi used to collect stuff, but iām actually the opposite now.ā
āi think people call itĀ āun-clutteringā. the council call it fly-tipping.ā
āi got rid of all the chairs and tables in our house.ā
āif they donāt want it to be stolen, they shouldnāt make it so easy to take off.ā
āweāve got chemistry, i think.ā
āwe both like drinking and fighting.ā
āmen go into sheds and masturbate quietly on their own.ā
āpeople who only regret the things they didnāt do have never called their partner a cā ā
āthere are actually fewer fish in the sea than you think.ā
āthatās actually a message about the fleeting nature of love, which is why iāve used the condoms for this piece,ā
āitās incredible, the things you find on the beach.ā
āit hasnāt moved, so i assume itās for sale.ā
āiām a massive crocheter.ā
āiām learning a valuable skill.ā
āheās not long out of prison.ā
āwhen do you next plan on having a shit?ā
āoh, sometimes iāve shat before iāve even eaten it.ā
āiāve come up with a system of vouchers for different things.ā
āthis may come as a bit of a shock to you, but iām doing jokes.ā
āwhatās the first thing you do in the mornings?ā
āit came out wrong. very wrong.ā
āthatās not what we rehearsed.ā
āit wasnāt easy, but i found three ways.ā
āthatās just saying other numbers.ā
āi made you a cocktail with bacon in it.ā
āitās disappointing when you think somethingās going to be big and then itās small, isnāt it?ā
āiām gonna go withĀ āspiteā.ā
āiām not sure thatās a word. itās more of a feeling.ā
āwill you please consider having some salad?ā
āyour plumber called me in tears the other day.ā
āiād like to present one of the short lectures i do at the royal history society,ā
āhenry the eighth was capable of flight.ā
āace holes, put a bow in it.ā
āif you could look slightly more tense and not be gigglingā¦ā
āi mean, how much do you want that cheese?ā
āto be honest, iām still trembling from that going off.ā
āwhat i really want to do now is get in the airing cupboard.ā
āwho needs true love when you have crochet?ā
ādonāt try that at home, kids.ā
āweāve found a hole in the matrix.ā
[ominously] āsmeared.ā
āwhat was that that you smeared all over the sofa?ā
ānever clean beef grease with confetti.ā
āiāll give you another thirty seconds.ā