@chief-anthony-powell fuck you have some vent snarks
*Anthony was seated at his desk when he heard the familiar voice at his office door. He groaned to himself before turning to face the man, taking a long sip from his stale coffee.*
Nice to see you too, Mark.
*He paused when he heard what sounded like skittering through the air vents above*
I wouldn’t have th’ pest problem in th’ first place if it weren’t fer you pull’n yer office pranks.
Its bad enough I gotta tell some of my officers they’re just weird rats. I think you ferget sometimes not everyone ‘s supposed t’ know ‘bout th’ aliens you keep.
*He glares daggers at the other man in question before letting out a sigh. He turned back to face his monitor trying to remember what he was doing before he was interrupted.*
Why are ya here any way?
To Tell you about the 72 snarks in your vent that's about it.
And I unscrewed the vent cover so eventually they will all spill in and probably start biting literally everything
So have fun with that!
Oh, and one more thing.
I had maintenance replace your door with one that now locks from the outside,
and I have the only key
Good Luck!
*He shuts the door and locks it before running off*
*Anthony’s eyes widen. He goes to lunge across his desk to grab at Stevens, but it was too late. The door shut and the automatic locks engaged instantly. The Chief is quick to his feet. He slams his fist against the door and tries for the door latch. It doesn’t budge.*
STEVENS!! YOU FUCKIN’- GET BACK HERE N’ OPEN THIS DOOR!!
*He was too distracted by the situation to realize the vent cover had fallen off. It wasn’t until he felt a sharp bite on his ankle that he turned to look. A snark. 3 Snarks.. no… multiple snarks were crawling out of the exposed vent he screamed and stomped on the ones biting his ankles.*
*2:45 PM, Mountain Standard Time. Employee mandated lunch break is on, and Sebastian squints in the florescent lighting of a stuffy, 150 square feet (or so he'd give his best guess) employee mandated break room. The guard's right hand scratches idly at some loose stitching on his work pants, his left holding four playing cards. Sebastian swings his foot any which way under the table, boot toe and heel clacking with either table or chair legs, until he misjudges his next swing and right into the guard's coworker's leg sitting across from him. Sebastian jumps at the realization.* Woop- Sorry 'bout that one, Johnny-boy. Got a'ny spades on ya? @officer-johnathan-pierce
*Pierce sat looking over his own cards thinking over his next move. He jumps and hisses at the sudden pain in his shin causing him to almost drop his hand.*
Yowch! Geez Seb! Watch where yer put’n them things!
*He leaned down to rub his leg in hopes it would help ease the pain and gestures at his coworker’s boots. He sits up right and scans his hand once more before slipping one out and placing it lazily on the stack in front of them.*
Yeah Ah’ got a spade.. just aint got no more shins.
*The corner of Sebastian's mouth curls in success before lightly wetting the tip of a finger and flicking his new spade into his hand. That's the third book down on his end.* thud Hmm.. *Sebastian clicks his tongue, then bites his lip a bit* 'Boutt'a bet it all, Johnny, Ah'll confide in ya fer a'heart or two. THUD -Fuck!- *The guard blinks, looks like he couldn't ignore that one. A sigh leaves his nose as Sebastian lifts his head to look right at the other* Did ya hear that jus' now?
*Johnathan sighs and lays his hand down in defeat.*
Ah aint win’n this round with this hand.
*He perked up and raised a brow at Seb*
Hear wh- What th’ fuck?
*He looked around the room to see where the sound could be coming from*
Th’ hell ‘s that??
*Sebastian's ears perk and prickle, searching for new sounds. The guard slowly and meticulously rises from his chair, angling his movements so that the chair doesn't scrape on the tile in such a way that it squeaks. Sebastian's hands slide towards the edge of the table, letting his weight bounce a bit on his fingers. He tip-toes, head tilting and swiveling around.* THUMP -Goddammit! Git off'a me!- *Sebastian jumps at the sudden sound, heart peaking with it, and his nose scrunches up in uncertainty as he looks towards Pierce again* That don't sound too good. *The guard notes rather seriously, although he betrays his intention with a curious smirk, his posture straightens and Sebastian quickly leans forward to swipe his helmet off the table* Come on, now, Johnny-boy, les' straighten' them bootstraps an' git a'look-see outside!
*Pierce stood up and put his own helmet on and followed close behind Sebastian. He kept his head on a swivel for anything weird.*
Sounds like ‘s comin from next door..?
*It took no time for Sebastian to fully exit the breakroom, standing in one of the many halls of Sector C, the gaurd was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. Sebastian took note of two things the moment his vision focused- that the hall itself was practically empty say for himself and his coworker, and that said coworker suggested the noise could be in the room next door; That which so happened to be their Chief's office.* Thud... CRASH Shit, s'the Chief on th'edge'a croakin,' ya think? *Sebastian exclaims as he jumps over to the office door. The disturbances heard from earlier are much more noticeable even through the wall on this side, putting to rest any previous suspicions the guards had. Sebastian pounds on the door* Chief!! Chief can ya'll hear me in there!? *Another loud thumping noise reverbs enough to shake the door* Fuck me.. Th'hells goin' on in there? *Sebastian reaches to open the door, forgoing manners and courtesy entirely and-* Locked? *His heart starts to beat in his ears* Fuckin' hell it's locked!?
The hell!?
*Pierce comes up to the door and tries the latch himself as if it would work any different with his touch. Still locked. He looked all around the door.*
These things aint supposed t’ lock from outside!? Why ‘s th’ latch swapped?!?
*The guard unclips his ID from his vest and tries it on the scanner. Knowing he doesn’t have the clearance but tries anyway.*
Access Denied
Shit. *he tries again*
Access Denied. Access Denied. Access Denied.
Shit!
*There is a loud crash and a slam up against the door on the other side causing both guards to jump back.*
Chief?! What’s goin on ‘n there!!? Yer locked in!!
*There is faint cursing and fumbling on the other side.*
I think I know that!! Stevens locked me ‘n here!! Filled th’ room with snar- uhh
*There is a pause then a yelp*
Just get me the hell outta here!! I’m be’n eaten alive!! *SLAM*
*Sebastian feels his chest rise as he takes a noticeable deep breath, backing up from the door and begins to pace in two to three-foot steps. His eyes darted around the Sector hall for any quick ideas*
If Chief got th'wherewithal t'be hootin' n'hollerin' like he is, he's toughin' this one out fer th'long haul. *The guard stops short of another pace, eyes landing on his next new idea, and starts folding and rising his uniform sleeves and fidgeting with other assets of his clothing, including his gloves*
Weell.. Door's stuck somethin' fierce, t'boot, so if we ain't gittin' in, we're goin' through!
*The guard tightens his boot laces and his helmet strap and pinches its visor for good measure*
We're goin' up-top, Johnny! *Sebastian points above him towards the vent shaft*
*Pierce blinks and looks up at the vent on the wall.*
Ah can’t fit ‘n there very well, Seb..b-but Ah can hoist ya up there!
*Pierce bends down to offer Sebastian his shoulders as a step latter.*
*Sebastian smiles wide and nods firmly in approval. He takes but a brief moment to face towards the office door one last time before dashing over to Pierce* HEAR THAT ONE, CHIEF!? SIT NICE N'PRETTY FER US, AL'RIGHT? WE'RE COMIN' TA GETCH'YA! *The guard wastes no time in hoisting himself onto his coworker's shoulders, using the wall itself as leverage mostly with his boot to maintain traction. Sebastian felt the toe end of his shoe somehow lose its balance once it landed onto the other guard's backside, making Sebastian's body lurch downward and the air from his stomach bloat out of his throat in a not so graceful 'urp' sound. The excitement that paced all of Sebastian's movements melted a bit into embarassment once he realized just how out of practice he was at this. Eventually, he climbed up onto Pierce's shoulders more firmly and was ready to pounce onto the vent shaft* S-Sorry 'bout that one, Pierce, guess Ah'm jus' plum off'a mah game, y'see. Last time Ah roughed mahself like this was 'fore kitten went on medical leave.
*Pierce groaned at the slight pain in his shoulders from Sebastian slipping. He winced and waved it off before gesturing to keep going.*
s’Alright, Ah can take a’ beat’n er two. Ah’m a tough one.
*Once Sebastian was firmly on his shoulders Pierce grabbed his ankles and slowly rose to his feet to give the other a better angle. From the outside perspective this spectacle looked like something you’d see at a circus act with clowns bumbling about. Wasn’t the most graceful.*
Ya got it?
*The sudden grip of Pierce's hands on Sebastian's ankles made the guard wobble a bit. His arms began to flap in an instinctive and somewhat futile attempt at reorienting himself on such high ground. After a few seconds of flailing, Sebastian braced himself on the wall* Whew.. Heh, that right there could'a been somethin' mighty nasty fer th'books. *Sebastian continued to speak as he stretched his arms and wiggled his fingers closer to the vent shaft's metal cover plate. C-C'mon now, can't be dilly-dallyin' right 'bout now... *Sebastian grunts a few times with each further stretch, digging his boots down onto Pierce's shoulders* *The guard's fingertips scratched at the edges until a nail snuck itself underneath and gave way to the confines of the vent. Dust billowed out in clouds right into his face* Whoa nelly! COUGH.. sniff Jesus... Al'right, Ah'm in, Johnny-boy!*Sebastian looks down at his coworker while simultaneously ditching the metal vent cover onto the floor besides him with a clang* Ah'll see if Ah can't finagle th'door ta open a'notch while helpin' our dear ol' chief while Ah'm at it. Wish me luck, soldier! *With that, Sebastian braced his upper body and jumped head-first into the vent, arms outstretched as far as they could go in front of him. His helmet clashed against the tight space's upper edge, though that didn't stop the guard's momentum. He crawled not unlike a row of marching ants, keeping in mind how his knees and elbows scraped against the sides of the ventilation. While Pierce's voice trailed away from him, another's became a lot closer, alongside a sort of tittering noise Sebastian wasn't quite familiar with. He squints amidst the dust and darkness, until light peers around the corner and so do the sounds* Th'hell's that sound? Ah'm hearin' th'Chief, thats fer sure, an' somethin' else. Ugh, better git goin' fer Ah git stuck mahself-" skree! *Sebastian's eyebrows quirked* Huh? *Suddenly, before he could react, the guard was interrupted mid-crawl by something skittering onto his face. Something both hard, smooth and prickling his cheeks and nose in frantic, tapping movements* F-FUCK-! Gah, shit!! Git off'a me! What th'hell are ya!? *Sebastian began to shake his head violently, his helmet occasionally tapping against the vents and something in him told him to start moving, fast and now. Sebastian's eyes were squeezed shut in the heat of the moment, so he relied on pawing around with his hands until something that wasn't cold, dusty metal touched his fingers* *Metal. Dust. Metal. Dust. Me- Oh? Open.. air... ? Sebastian's skin felt oddly hot with goosebumps all of a sudden* *The guard's eyes popped wide open, then he dropped. Looks like another vent shaft had been opened* Wha- S-shiiiit! AGHH-!?! *Sebastian had fallen. Ass first, too, what luck. He hisses in frustration and pain*
*The security chief stood on top of his desk using a binder to bat at the many bug like creatures that crawled around him and hissed. He smacked at the ones climbing up his desk and legs shouted curses each time. Suddenly he heard something larger coming closer through the ventilation above. He looked up fully bracing himself for a new type of creature to appear. He held his weapon of choice at the ready (like it would do anything) and jumped back a bit when it came crashing through the hole in the ceiling. Just before he leaned down the swat at the new creature on his floor he paused-*
Wh- Fletcher?! Th’ hell you do’n in here?!
*Tears welled in the corners of Sebastian's eyes, teeth grit in an expression of near-agony. Pain zapped through not just his pelvis, but through his legs and throbbed at his knees, as well. He bit his lip hard, blinking his eyes open to catch the Chief's bewildered expression. Sebastian let out a few haggard breaths as he panted*
H-Hey there, Chief, Ah- aughh- Seems like ya caught me at one'a mah worsts, hehe. *The guard tried raising a shaking hand, using his other to lift himself off the ground, knees trembling and still in shock from the fall. He manages to stable himself into a, still shakey, standing position*
huff Are ya al'right? Pierce an' Ah did quick in gettin' t'ya what with all th'ruckus we heard.
*Sebastian couldn't help but to then brace himself on his knees, back hunched over, the moment he tried to find more of his words*
Ah, hah, didn't realize all th'wind been punched outta me like this. But don't ya fret, Chief, Ah'm ready to help git ya outta this.. here... What's with them eyes a'yers?
*This whole situation had rattled Sebastian's brain a bit too hard, since it had only occurred to him now that the Chief hadn't said a word this whole time, instead gawking at the guard with wider and wider eyes, unblinking, unmoving*
*Anthony stood on the desk peering down at the guard with shock. He fully expected to see a larger alien creature on his floor attacking him. He watched as the guard in slightly horror as he got his breath and attempted to stand. What little time Sebastian had been on the floor he had become covered in snarks.*
*From the moment he landed on the floor all the surrounding snarks let out an Eep! in distress and jumped back to avoid being crushed. They quickly crawled onto the back of the guard and hissed up at the security chief. When the guard stood and hadn’t realized the large bugs on him yet, it made the security chief wince.*
*One made its way on top of the guard’s helmet and gripped onto the strap going down the side of the man’s face. Its singular eye glanced over into Fletcher’s field of view and squeaked in curiosity. While another clambered up his pant leg and began bitting at the shoelaces on his boots. A third was on his back hissing in annoyance as the human it was surfing wouldn’t stay still making it hard to stay clung to his vest.*
I got uhh… bit of a.. pest problem..
*There wasn’t much warning he could give the other about the alien insects on him seeing as they didn’t waste a second making their presence known to the other*
Careful they bi-IITE YOWCH!
*the chief was cut off by the stinging pain of another snark biting the shit out of his leg through his pants. He swiftly swatted at the pest on his lower thigh and kicked it to the wall*
Lil bastards!!
Pests, huh? That must'a been th'little whats'it that got me square in th'face when Ah was up in them vents. *Sebastian's breathing had thankfully evened out by now, winded exhaustion no longer squeezing through his ribs. The guard let out a sigh as he began to straighten out his posture* *A cacophony of chirps, squeaks and squeals rained around him, bringing Sebastian's senses back to full gear. His feet and ankles still felt a tingling sensation and with a cleared head and renewed curiosity, Sebastian peeked under his nose to his boots. An army of shiny green eyes glanced back up at the guard, with little, black needle-like legs and rounded red bodies* *Sebastian jolted and took a sharp inhale* Ah- U-Uhm... *His fingers twitched as he fidgeted with his tie* Skee! Skee! *That came from Sebastian's left and with a steady turn of his gaze he sees.. Aha... The guard yelps in surprise at another one of those pests sitting idly on his shoulder* G-GAAH!!! G-Git th'hell off'a me, goddammit!! *Sebastian shakes his body vigorously and clamors up onto the table his Chief had been taking refuge on* They're them pests ya'll've been scrappin' with!? First time Ah've laid eyes on critters liken ta'them. *The guard braces his body, steeling his legs stiff and nabs a pen off the table that had been knocked loose from a cup and scattered amongst several other pens and pencils. Sebastian scowls, enough for his helmet to shadow his eyes* *The snarks were all swarming frantically on the tile floor, scampering back and forth, some hissing and other squealing*
Welcome t’ my world..
*The chief groaned and glanced around the room. He looked up at Sebastian trying to remember if he was safe to say what these things were or not. He knew the other two guards who were usually hanging around Sebastian didn’t have clearance.. but he wasn’t too sure about this one.*
You got level 3 clearance.. right? Uhh Th-these r’ from Biology.. They study em there.. among other things.. you can imagine who put em here. Same man who changed th’ locks on my damn door. That son of a bitch. *He muttered under his breath.*
So uhh… why exactly r’ ya in here? Ya realize we can’t get out, right? *He gestured to the door*
*As the Chief spoke his piece, Sebastian had been preoccupied in keeping the bugs at bay, swinging and thrusting his new weapon at any snark that dared get too close to them. The table wobbled beneath him the more he continuously twisted and swung against the pests*
Ah might've- hup- not givin' this- ugh- too much thought! *Another swing of the pen ended up square in the middle of a snark's eye, some sort of fluid unceremoniously gushing out in spurts. It's body falls to the ground, legs curling inward*
pant pant Ah mean, sure, Ah've got all th'fancy numbers fer clearance 'round these parts, Chief, but Ah'd only recently been promoted, an' Ah'll be right honest with ya, th'lab rats linin' these halls like keepin' secrets. 'Sides these critters, 'ere, th'last beastie Ah came across was some sorta yellow acid thing. Ah learned th'hard way 'bout Biology's musin's that day.
*The snarks were learning fast as this went on, their swarms somehow increasing each time they launched another attack. Over time, less and less of them attacked from the front, opting to take their chances to the left and right of the two men. But even that tactic had grown tiresome for the bugs*
S'it over? Ah could go fer several breathers right 'bout now, Ah'll tell ya what, Chief. *Sebastian's legs now throbbed with exhaustion and whatever leftover scraps of pain remained from his earlier fall. Although the guard was trembling slightly, he still stood strong*
Johnny-boy's jus' outside th'office. *Sebastian nods his head where the Chief had been pointing* Ah told 'im 'fore Ah scampered out yonder t'ya that Ah'd find'a ways ta open it. Ah might've- uh- underestimated yer situation a'lil,' hehe.. *He couldn't help but huff a sheepish laugh at that*
Wait, Pierce? He’s outside? Ah shit… Uhh.. I guess this aint the worst thing.
*He tried to think how they could instruct Pierce to help them out of this situation. And as if on queue-*
*knock Knock* Ya’ll alright n’ there? Seb? Chief? Ah’m begin’n t’worry!
*The Chief chuckled to himself* We’re as uhh… good as we can be. But fer th’ most part we’re fine!
*He sighed and looked up at Sebastian*
We have two options.. instruct ‘im t’ get tools n’ do this ‘imself or.. get maintenance. Second option could leave us here fer a’lot longer than we wanna be.. n’ th’last thing I want is Andrea t’ catch word ‘bout this.
While I wouldn’t mind watch’n my wife chew Stevens out like a kid.. I also don’t wanna worry ‘er..
*Sebastian couldn't help but give a fond smirk at the sound of Pierce still at the door, just outside. Was he just sitting out there like a lost, little puppy? The guard opted to speak up as well to give his coworker some peace of mind* Fine an' dandy, Johnny! Keep sittin' pretty like ya are, we'll be right with ya if need be! *A snark struggled to climb over the edge of the table as Sebastian idly kicked it away, his attention more focused on their next course of action, whatever that may be. He takes a peek back up to the open vent shaft he made his entrance with and brainstormed several of his own ideas, though two heads are better than one and the guard was done acting hastily at the moment* While Ah'm all fer givin' Johnny-boy 'is dues, trustin' our patience on maintenance is th'last thing Ah'm willin' ta test, Chief. Les' bump our head t'gether fer a'spell, al'right, yer gittin' me curious 'bout what else is on yer mind.
Uhhh.. well those were my only ideas.. unless ya got somethin’ up yer own sleeves?
S'Long shot, but Ah'm hankerin' on th'idea we might al'ready have ways t'git outt'a 'ere. Vent's open, an' we've got mahself, ya'll an' some chairs fer'a makeshift ladder a'sorts. Sure, these lil' buggers got more than 'nuff spunk in them ta follow an' bother us, some, but they ain't so much more than a nuisance now. Pierce can catch us on th'way down when we git ta th'other side. *Such a casual meeting of the minds felt really antithetical to the ever-swarming chaos around the two security guards. Average day at Black Mesa, Sebastian concedes, at least once you find out what you're getting into. The guard wonders what the end of the world might feel like while on the clock. Sebastian kicks away a few more impulsive snarks off the table* Git's us out, an' keeps them critters in.
*Anthony looked up above them at the open vent. He glanced back down at the snarks slowly trying to climb the desk legs. He seemed nervous at the thought of going in such a tight space.*
..Fine... but yer goin’ in first.
*He moves to pull a chair up onto the desk, he groans as his back protests.*
I best not get stuck in them vents.. *He mutters*
No need t'be like that, Chief, ya'll got yerself an expert in this 'ere side hustle a'mongst us guards!
*Sebastian finishes his reassurances with a confident point of his thumb to himself and a toothy grin. The guard grabs their new stepping stool and wiggles it a bit to make sure it's steady out of necessity, before climbing one foot at a time onto the seat. A snark somehow managed to hitch a ride on his backside, to which Sebastian swiped it away with an annoyed huff*
Al'righty.. *Sebastian grunts* Let'see what we got 'ere. *With a shaky start, the guard goes on his toes, stretching and wiggling his fingers until one just so happens to hook onto the open vent edge. Then another, then another, until both hands curled against the metal and Sebastian forced every ounce of upper body strength he had into his shoulders. He grit his teeth and and pulled himself up* G-Goddamn... Ah- ugh- Ah ain't used ta doin' this stuff backwaaaaards..! Whoa, whoa! *The moment Sebastian's boots left the chair, something in his weight shifted, sliding his grip away from the vent and causing him to frantically swing his legs until he felt balanced again* Holy shit... *The guard took a deep breath, attempting to regain that lost strength, and tried another time to lift himself upward. This time, Sebastian got past his elbows, his head and chest now thoroughly inside the vent shaft, from there he could only go up. To be met with a cold draft of dust was a mood killer to say the least* Yer turn, Chief! Ah'll help ya mosey on up 'ere! *Sebastian peeks his head out from the vent, bringing a hand down in preparation for Anthony to grab on to*
*The older man stood there and watched as the other struggled to pull himself up into the vent shaft above them. When he saw the other begin to slip and quickly moved in to steady his feet on the makeshift ladder. He grabbed the young guard’s legs and tried pushing him upwards to assist in the momentum.*
*Once Sebastian was successfully up in the ceiling he watched as the man turned to offer him a hand. Of course it was his turn.. Powell looked up at the other, uncertainty growing in his expression as he swallowed thickly.*
*He hissed when a sudden sharp pain pulled him from his thoughts. He looked down and saw yet another Snark clinging to his leg and nipping at him. Powell growled and plucked the damned thing off his pants and threw it against the door earning a loud squeal from the creature. It made a heavy thud followed by a pained screech before hitting the floor motionless.*
C’mon Chief!
*Anthony heard the guard above him, reminding him of his new daunting task he was able to briefly ignore… till now. He looked up and let out a shaky breath before planting his foot firmly on the chair and reaching up to grab onto the younger man’s hand.*
If I get stuck up in this thing so help me God, Fletcher. *He threated*
*His shoulders protested with a pop as he tried to pull himself up into the vent to join the other. A weary look still plastered on his face.*
I’m get’n too old fer this shit.
*Sebastian watched with baited breath as his rather weight-y boss stretched beyond his limits and squeezed into their now shared vent shaft. The guard instinctively lurched forward and grabbed the Chief's forearms, the other man's sweaty, broiling skin bleeding its heat through Sebastian's fingerless gloves. His fingers gripped tighter against the flesh in a curling motion, not wanting to risk even a moment to hesitation or weakness. Sebastian bit his lip and puffed his cheeks, the strength gained in tightening his lungs gradually fading away, forcing the guard to really work for it*
Humphffff- C-C'mon Chief, thas'it now, ya al'most got it! *The man grunted, losing some air in the process*
*He began to scrabble for anything his hands could latch onto now as his boss continued the climb, be it the Chief's vest, shirt, hell, even a stray pocket flap. Sebastian felt himself scoot backwards the more Anthony came forward. Eventually, both men were clamped inside the ventilation, faces uncomfortably close. The guard worried his breath smelled in a brief moment before deciding to lighten the mood a bit*
*Sebastian gave a lop-sided smirk* Fancy meetin' ya 'ere, Chief.
*Anthony groaned as his biceps burned in protest. He huffed when he finally was able to pull himself up and let his weight rest on his knees on the floor of the ventilation shaft. He felt his heart pound in his chest and ears as he tried his best to not focus on how tight the space they shared was. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on literally anything else. His back ached and demanded he stood up, but he couldn’t and that sent a pang of anxiety through his nervous system. He hated every second of this. He just wanted out.*
*He glared at the younger guard after his cheeky joke. His cheeks were flush with exertion and darkened a little when he realized just how intimately close they were. He tried to scoot back to give the other man space but it was hard to move, which only sent another wave of anxiety through his body. He felt his body begin to tremble. He needed to move, he needed to stand up, he needed to breathe. He couldn’t breathe. There was no room to breathe!*
J-Juhst… Get me..outta this.. death trap! *He shouted between heavy breaths. The quicker he got out the quicker this nightmare would be over.*
Y-You n’ th’ other two dingus’ might find this activity fun.. But I ain’t have’n no fuck’n part ‘n it!
