jerking off is gay because youâre the same gender as yourself
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@chicken-magnet
jerking off is gay because youâre the same gender as yourself

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resteraunts will call themselves gastropubs and eateries so they donât have to spell restarunt
people will claim to be filled with whimsy and joy for life but then hate musicalsâŚâŚ. the vile tongue of man will never cease lying
critics: Batman just hunts down and beats up his rogues and mentally ill people!
what Batmanâs actually doing:
pushing past hour three of Riddlerâs impromptu lecture on how tenses and verbal intonation affect the solution rate of his riddles
talking a random guy down from joining Penguinâs goon squad for better pay (âyouâre not a killer, you just need friendsâ ââŚyeahâ)
pulling electrodes out of Jim Gordonâs ass (again) because heâs the only one who wonât laugh
explaining compounding interest rates to Robin while doing 180 on the highway during rush hour
blacking out Harvey Dentâs window in Arkham because seeing the waxing/waning moon was giving him anxiety
jumping out at kids skipping curfew and scaring them
spending so much money on charity that Lucius Fox is impressed he can still successfully embezzle from WE at the same time
playing skeeball with Robin in an abandoned bowling alley (this will become a core memory)
sex pollen is an integral part of the fanfiction ecosystem but i just don't think poison ivy would make anything that encourages procreation of even more humans. unless she figures out how to make the sex pollen same-sex specific or fertility-negating she's not making it at all. #philosophical
batman: throw your homosexual phytoaphrodisiac pollen wherever you like, pamela. it won't get past my rebreather. i've made sure of it. i learned my lesson the last time.
fujo poison ivy: how was it...

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wip
the idea of crane using a thurible to spread fear gas has been haunting me for months atp
These days, lots of public libraries have a "library of things" collection where you can check out kitchen appliances or yard tools or toys, and, as a children's library assistant, the most popular library of things item that I handle regularly is a plastic scepter thingy called like "unicorn princess magic wand". And whenever I check it out I make a big show of looking at the little kid and being like "do you solemnly swear to use your unicorn princess magic powers only for good and never for evil?"
And pretty much without fail, the little kid will get the world's most mischievous grin and go "I'm gonna use it for EVIL!!!"
We need to isolate and start selectively breeding the plastic eating bacteria so we can optimise their efficiency, and then somehow splice their DNA into the gut bacteria of an obligate carnivore, so we can put it in our cats gut biomes so they'll finally be free of having to choose between whether they want to eat plastic or whether they want to live.
ok we can do petplay but Only if Iâm the fly. If thatâs ok⌠rubs my hands together ⌠zzzzzzâŚ. Hope I donât get swattedâŚ. Zzzzzzzzz
died at the window sill

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I think I am officially Fandom Old. I am so worn out from the arguments on who's the top or the bottom (who cares), what is allowed to be written (anything you want, bejeebus), what is Problematic (I know, just tag it), what other people Should Do (they Should live their lives free of judgment). There isn't a Right Way to do things. Tag your stuff appropriately, don't read stuff you don't want to read, and leave other people (me) alone.
There is nothing quite like the freedom of having gone through all of the Discourse and come out the other side into the promised land of Not Giving A Fuck.
The three keys to the promised land are âBlock, Unfollow, and Do Not EngageâÂ
The summer between the end of high school and the start of college, I wrote a ridiculous play about pirates and put on a staged reading with some friends at an amphitheatre at a local park before a small audience of friends and family. It was never published or staged again. But I just got a message from an old high school friend I havenât seen in years. He accidentally quoted the play in a conversation with friends, was asked what he was quoting, he couldnât remember either, and wracked his brain until he finally remembered it was that silly play reading that we did one day in the park over 10 years ago. It made me happy. (The line was, âHuzzah for mercantilism!â by the way.)
A very tiny percentage of creators go on to be famous, but that doesnât mean that people donât remember little things you did for years and years. Who came up with most of the worldâs most famous jump rope rhymes? Who coined some of the famous idioms we use in daily speech? Who made up âJingle Bells, Batman Smells?â Somehow, all of these things stuck and spread around.
When I was a small child, I saw a high school put on a production of the musical HONK. In one song, the mother duck describes various dangers that her baby should avoid in the water, including fishing line, which could strangle him. A member of the ensemble played the role of fishing line, doing a maniacal laugh and over-the-top strangling motions, and I found it hilariousâ and to this day, thatâs an example I often think of when talking about how ensemble members can still stand out in theatre. The guy who played the role might not even remember that he did that, but I do.
I took Suzuki violin lessons as a kid. The teacher made up lyrics to some of the songs, and she let her students make some up, too. Now whenever I hear the instrumental of one of those pieces, I always remember these ridiculous lyrics about a skunk that we sang in violin class. I donât even know which student invented them!
In middle school, I found a video about atoms parodying Bill Nye made by some kids for a school product. It probably had less than 1,000 views, but I think of quotes from that video all the time. They had a parody of âWe Will Rock Youâ with the chorus, âProtons, neutrons, electronsâ that I think about a lot.
I just love that this is part of human life. Our memories donât just pick up quotes from great art, literature, and music, but little things, too.
a night out đť
i do love how both the supergirl and superman films featured the moral lesson of âitâs beneficial to kill pedophiles/abusers/genocidal world leaders etc BUT itâs also important to have people in the world who refuse to kill at all costs, especially if those people are vulnerable & developing (e.g. children) or immensely powerful & capable of doing good without violence (e.g. superman)â and honestly itâs kind of based
i dont CARE that its your special interest bitch whats your SOURCE !!!!!!
"source: me ! hahahađĽ°" NO !!!!!!! SOURCE: First Name Middle Initiall. Last Name, Name of Book, (City: Publisher, year) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
to paraphrase Brandy Jensen (2024), too often these days I find myself in the position of defending someone I think is annoying for using a different citation style, from someone I know is dangerous for not citing their sources at all
_____________
Jensen, B. (2024) "The Polycrisis: Why canât we stop talking about nonmonogamy?" in The Yale Review, Online, 24 April.

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What has been happening to that one friend whoâs really into penguin
Anyway, misc collection of sketches of those guys I like ranging from an hour ago to like. Two months back⌠first image is of the Arkham City guys because Iâm playing the game rn (a pair I made up!!!), then test sketches for me and my pookieâs designs, finally random Gotham slop
tmi actually stands for tumblring my information