sf to oahu 🌴

I try not to get my hopes up anymore.

I want a disneyland date.

I haven't been there in 12 years now

My aunt passed away four months ago. Yesterday my mom told me the story about my aunt’s first love. My aunt was an OR nurse and she fell in love with a doctor. No one in my family really liked him from what I heard. They didn’t think he was the most attractive man but they let her live her own life. She got rid of her NYC apartment and uprooted her life to move out to California with him. She was head over heals for this man. He was THE one. When they both moved out there he broke her heart and told her he wasn’t ready for this. My aunt flew back home to New York and had to move back in with my grandparents. She had to start her life over in her late 20s when she thought she had it all planned out.  My heart breaks for her.  She was never as happy as she was with her first love. Sure, she met my uncle and she had two kids but she spent her whole life filling the void.  She had it all and more but nothing would compare. Later in life she found out that this doctor she had fallen madly in love with never married or had kids.  My mother said that was her closure.  He had no one and my aunt had dozens of people who loved her.  But my heart feels sad for her. Deep down I know she would probably have traded it all to have a life with him. And thats what makes me terrified.  That I will never truly be happy no matter how many people stay by my side and love me in life. That 40 years from now I will still be thinking about the one that I would uproot my whole life for. Love is such a powerful thing. Sometimes its just not strong enough. 

When ppl kno about ur depression and they randomly ask “are you okay? How are you doing?” In that special voice

Whats up u depressed bastard

I miss her hugs

lavender is her favorite color

these were her favorite flowers

My ex bought me this whole album when it first came out