LOST

“ it was cute at first. but if i hear part of your world again i may commit a crime. ”

I’ve had Into the Unknown from Frozen 2 stuck in my head for days. I’m not sure I’m going to be sane once we get back home.

When your kid decides to get sick while on a cruise! What the hell, kid? When it says ‘all you can eat ice cream’ that doesn’t mean, do it. 

Is your little one feeling well now? Also why didn’t I know there was all you can eat ice cream? 

@raisingstarters​

❝ i think jade just bullied anna or elsa into spending the day with her and… i don’t know whether to be impressed i raised that demon or pull her away from them. but i’m enjoying this margarita right now… so, i’m bordering impressed. ❞

Damn dude, that’s crazy. I would definitely be impressed. I want to know how she managed that!

Well instead of eating her dinner out of the puzzle like I was hoping she would, Wednesday knocked it over and flung food everywhere. At least I cleaned the floor recently... Picture of her staring at the mess under the cut.

Oh no, they are perfect angels.

Come on you can tell me the truth.

Of course! After you are done with them, you are going to want to drink. 

They can’t really be that bad, can they?

❝ i would probably go for a swim in the ocean if i really felt trapped, forces destined to kill me within the depths of the sea be damned. i’ve needed a drink since the moment my daughter ditched me for the disney princesses. ❞

I’m not sure I’d let you jump off the side of the boat, the thought of it terrifies me. So how about we go and get a drink then? No one said you can’t parent while still being a bit tipsy.

❝ i hope i’m at least decent. i’ve fucked up probably quite a few times, but i don’t wanna fuck up with her, y’know. exactly, otherwise she’s gonna end up way too stressed when she’s older. maybe i am, maybe i’m not. i’m just saying that i’m the only single hot dad i know, given that i’ve not taken interest in rating other dads. or dating them. i’d be the worst wingman. we’ll see. ❞

Everyone fucks up dude. I know for a fact I royally screwed over some people I care greatly about. It’s life sadly. I still try and keep things positive. Just keep up that mindset throughout and she’ll catch on. Oh come on at least try and rate some other guys. It’ll be something fun to do, right? At least it’ll be funny.

❝ trapped at sea. i didn’t even think of it like that, but now that i have… i’m going to need some alcohol as soon as possible. oh, man. i hope they do, but either way. jade will be fine, i’m not really gonna leave her unattended. ❞

Shit, I didn’t mean to make it worse! I’ll get you a drink if you really need it. I didn’t think you would, no one really just ups and abandons their kids like that.

❝ what can i say? i like to keep a positive vibe going, it’s a good way to be a half-decent role model for my own daughter. you’re already halfway to your goal already. i’m not in the habit of checking out other single hot dads, but i’m here. ❞

You seem like you’re great role model for her. It’s definitely important to teach kids the brighter side of life. Ah, so you’re offering yourself up then? I wasn’t really being serious about the whole thing, but we’ll see.

❝ i love my daughter, don’t get me wrong. but being around the miniature version of yourself when they’re ten times the hell you were, on a disney cruise? i would probably die. yes, i’m all about doing the fun shit with her, but i need some long breaks from her sass. ❞

Okay I can see that. You are sort of you know, trapped at sea, with the little one. They have something like a daycare on here don’t they?

❝ i don’t think you’ll be a loner for long around this place. there you go, now that’s one hell of a plan made up on the spot. there’s bound to be a couple of those around here. ❞

I like your positivity on this. I mean we’re talking right now so I’m not a loner at the moment so that’s a plus. You wouldn’t happen to know of any single hot dads would you? 

❝ i’m sure you aren’t the only person here who’s arrived without a kid in tow… too many people in the world are head-over-heel for disney. but i’ll admit, the amount of kids certainly would amp up the self-conscious thoughts if that were me. ❞

I do love me some Disney, I’ll be honest. I just feel a bit off being just a loner. Maybe I’ll meet a cute guy and he’ll have a kid in tow and I’ll just have the time of my life. That doesn’t seem too farfetched does it?

❝ that sounds like it’s for the best. less stress, and alcohol is always a plus. i might hang out and try to find a pool. maybe, hopefully, somewhere that i can actually hide from my daughter. ❞

Everyone seems to want to ditch their kids, I don’t get it. I feel like a Disney cruise with kids is like super fucking cute.