“I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk.”
“You can ask one of the big kids where to do that.”
“I wrote it down for you, just in case.”
“Put it in your pocket, I don’t want you to lose it.”
“I don’t know if anyone told you about me.”
“I’m a new student here. My name is ____.”
“Talk to me again and I’ll kick your ass.”
“My t-shirt’s stuck to my sweater, isn’t it?”
“How was your summer?”
“I got divorced.”
“It only counts if you saw a nipple.”
“Is that your natural hair colour?”
“Won’t we get in some sort of trouble for this?”
“Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just don’t do it okay?”
“How do you spell your name again, ____?”
“In the name of all that is holy, would you look at ____’s gym clothes?”
“Evil takes a human form in ____.”
“I heard ____’s hair is insured for $10,000.”
“I hear ____ does car commercials in Japan.”
“One time, ____ punched me in the face. It was awesome.”
“Is your muffin buttered?”
“Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?”
“____, why are you such a skeez?”
“You were supposed to call me last night.”
“So you’ve actually never been to a real school before?”
“Oh my god, ____, you can’t just ask people why they’re white.”
“Could you give us some privacy for, like, one second?”
“Okay, you should know that we don’t do this a lot so this is like, a really a huge deal.”
“Hey, how was your second day?”
“We always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group.”
“Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looked good on you.”
“Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.”
“Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. I mean that’s just, like, the rules of feminism!”
“Don’t worry. I’ll never tell ____ what you said. It’ll be our little secret.”
“Get in, loser, we’re going shopping.”
“I’m thinking of joining the Mathletes.”
“Just want you to know, if you need anything, don't be shy, OK? There are no rules in this house. I'm not like a regular mom. I'm a cool mom.”
“I have really bad breath in the morning.”
“If you're gonna drink, I'd rather you do it in the house.”
“So, you guys, what is the 4-1-1? What has everybody been up to? What is the hot gossip? Tell me everything.”
“What are you guys listening to? What's the cool jams?”
“____, there are two kinds of evil people. People who do evil stuff, and people who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it.”
“Does that mean I'm morally obligated to burn that lady's outfit?”
“I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.“