...and i accidentally cut off your head?

not to be crazy but do you guys think vampires have periods

i would guess not since women are born with all the eggs they’ll ever have already in their ovaries and they’d run out. but like. in a lot of different media they cry blood so i don’t see why their uteruses couldnt bleed also. but then again why should they yk

people keep saying "their bodies are dead, they can't reproduce, so no" BUT. just a note: i have a few infertile friends with vaginas who still have periods, despite not being able to get pregnant. BUT,, MOST IMPORTANTLY: so,,,,,, vampires with penises DON'T CUM? do they orgasm and just,,, nothing comes out? or does it come out but it's not able to impregnate someone???? does that make their cum "different"? because i've been with infertile men whose semen was VERY different in color and texture BECAUSE OF their infertility. so. again. not to be crazy, but already being,,,,,,,,, are you guys sure?

i legit haven't had a haircut since a hairdresser yanked my eyebrow piercing out with a metal comb (i still have an obvious 3+ cm scar from it; i was wearing a white tee and it got COVERED in blood), which was over 3 years ago, so my hair is reaching my thighs now – and still very full and thick and luscious, thank you. AND a heavy accent that, even though i'm latina, i don't look it, and you wouldn't be able to place. i'm confident i could get both laszlo and nadja obsessed with me

i understand the appeal of vampires cradling you in a parody of a lover's embrace while they feed on you i absolutely get it. however ☝️ i will always insist that the person being fed on embracing, holding in place, or even pulling the vampire back in for more when they try to stop themselves is infinitely more erotic. especially if there's a hint of visible revulsion in it; an instinctual repulsion that nearly overrules any desire. even more so if either party is tormented by soul-crushing guilt and disgust with themselves in the aftermath.

yes i can appreciate the conceptual appeal of a beautiful humanoid apex predator literally pursuing you like water in the desert but i think that everyone should be more conflicted and not having a great time about it