lawblr

just found out that accidentally in love by counting crows was literally made for shrek. they didnt just choose it. it didnt exist before. they asked counting crows to make a song for shrek 2 and thats how we got one of the best songs ever made. insane.

counting crows knew shrek 2 would become one of the best movies ever made and had to act accordingly

i just have this persistent feeling of “i’m not doing enough” combined with “i don’t have the energy to do anything” and it just really fucking sucks

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

sorry to highjack this post with more sadness but I started violently sobbing at work a couple weeks ago I was digging through a file looking for some notes about a life insurance policy in an irrevocable trust my employer has been trustee of since the 90s. I couldn't ask the grantor, who is alive, because he has dementia. In the file I find *perfectly organized* notes from the grantor from thirty years ago, clearly typed up on an old word processor, a beautifully handwritten family tree, an old letter to his sons (in case they wondered why the trust was structured the way it was) The fact that the person who wrote these notes now wouldn't be able to recognize his own handwriting? Brutal. Devastating. Could barely work the next day.

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

people telling chatgpt their problems is insane to me like girl just get a tumblr….

I love that I share my house with one of the most efficient apex predators millions of years of evolution could produce. I love that two of nature’s most prolific machines met and were like “hmmm. We should lay around and do nothing together”. Now we’re both fat and happy and full of meat. The hedonism of it all

Humans keeping cats and dogs as family members is like three prodigy assassins being introduced in the back of a shady nightclub and 45 minutes later they’re 6 crunchwrap supremes deep passing a blunt in the back of a shag carpeted Volkswagen microbus rating Oreo varietals by fuckability

tumblr users have the unique ability to string together sentences never before seen in all of human history and yet they conjure up such specific visceral imagery that you can’t help but be a little in awe. and i think that’s beautiful

Love and peace on planet earth

Just as a side note, ICE raids are currently also happening in Columbus OH- which is double the size of Minneapolis but still much smaller than Chicago or LA.

I don't know if they're full on raids just yet, but we're getting close to it if not, in Cleveland as well

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

I love these round dorky ass glasses, I want even smaller frames so I can feel like Shostakovich

Yeah, exactly. And even if it's not that horrible, like... my glasses are fine, and I've had enough surgery that went not completely right that you know what? Let's not do any surgery that I don't super duper need.

As someone who has had a lot (and I mean A LOT) of laser eye surgery to fix burst blood vessels, laser eye treatment is simply agonising, it fucking hurts, I'd rank it as the second worse pain in my life (the first being the Prostatitis and dual kidney infection). It's not worth it for what is basically a cosmetic ideal. And one that can cause eye bleeds, blindness, and reduced vision.