learnt misfortunes

& life is so boring without him 😢

MY FRIENDS ALWAYS ASK ME HOW I WAS ABLE TO LET GO (ITS LONG )SO HERE IT GOES: It took me almost a year to get over my ex because I really truly loved him( like first love type of love) he was there for me when NOBODY (outside my family) was but it is possible. Like I know it I lived and I learned from it some things have to be let go so other things can grow. It’s hard I cried, I did some crazy things and I wasted time that I could never get back. But honestly I don’t think I would have achieved half the things I have since then if we would have still been together same for him. I was blocking my own blessings by trying to build him up to be something he just wasn’t ready to be & I was wrong for that even if he was wrong in his own action I can own my mine. Letting go doesn’t mean you love them any less it just means you love yourself enough to know enough is enough. I have no anger toward him but I could also never be back with him cause he’s no longer the person I knew & I am definitely not the same nor should we be. I can be happy for him without having a direct relationship him( it’s hard cause I once considered him a friend now HE acts like a stranger) he was a chapter in my life but chapters are meant to end. Will you miss them? Hell yeah! Will it hurt? Of course! Will you backslide & still talk to them? ALL THE DAMN TIME! 😂 and that’s ok cause you’re only human I always say if I didn’t get nothing else from this I got a story

New York rendezvous

might as well put my writing on here since no one else cares

i pretend like im ok but im not. it hurts. to see you with somebody anybody else. you were the first person ive ever really loved and i never want to give that up. but i have to.i die a little every day knowing youre not in my arms  knowing our insiders jokes memories mean nothing. are nothing really. i hate you. i told you from day one i didnt want this. a quiet girl from baltimoree with a slick mouth and hard exterior but inside just a scared little girl with fear of being rejected. you promised me. you said you would never hurt me protect me even and i believed you. cliche i know but at the time the love making and protection you gave warmed. iwas just another little girl with daddy issue(another cliche) you fed off that you were “the man” and i the admiring child but someone how the roles switched i became the provider the protector the director the answers to your questions the love of you life. love. see thats another thing cause from the beginning i was cool with just fucking “lets keep it light” i said  ut that wasnt you you pushed and you pushed until you broke through broke through wall that were built  at least when i was 6. see my dad showed me everything i never wanted in a man but still i found comfort in them with you. the flags i should have called on your play were ignored like a dirty ref. youe called me every bitch in the book,fat delusional so on and so forth. youve told me to leae you the fuck alone and that that you hated me me just to called me 24 hours later begging me for apology  so dont ask me why im fucked up when your name is the answer. but your name is also my solution my remedy my addiction. i settle for blocked id phone calls and touch and go social media message just to get a taste of a hit of that sweet stuff....your love. but is it really love a broken boy with abandonment issue who could never really love a women because the ones that were supposed to love you failed.IM NOT THEM I LOVE YOU i could scream it off the empire state buildong then swiftly bungee jump after if that mean youd see me in that way again.how did i get here? im damn near college graduated young but not naive smart pretty i have options . how did i fine myslef imprinted with a 26 yr old felon with a ged. (to be continued)

"I'm unapologetically me. Fuck your perceptions and bullshit expectations for me."

Ebony Soul 2k14