look at me, i'm all grown up

months had passed and every time she saw abby, it was the same conversation.

“you have to tell him.”

“i can’t.”

“why not? you know he would be nothing short of ecstatic.” it came along with the same look of encouragement, one that somehow didn’t manage to ease her nerves.

it wasn’t about parker, though —- of course he wanted that, and she’s always wanted to start a family with him. they’ve waited long enough, haven’t they? but it’s been over five years since she lost tabitha, and it still seems too soon. had she gotten custody, her daughter would be turning ten this year. she could hear parker’s approval of the idea, knowing fully well he wanted to be a dad and would be an incredible one at that. however, she couldn’t ask tabitha, though that was all she needed to move forward in her life. the lack of closure that came with losing her daughter had hindered her decision making over the years. it was a guilt that weighed heavily on her shoulders.

“charlotte? did you hear me?” parker’s voice breaks through the intense pounding in her head, the thoughts that never seem to end. she can only respond with a quirk of her brows and a light hum of recognition. her gaze traces over his frame where he stands beside the kitchen table, plates of food in either hand. when it’s clear she didn’t hear the question, a sweet chuckle bubbles past his lips as he ducks down to touch a warm kiss to her forehead with a soft murmur, “always getting stuck in that beautiful head of yours. what’s on your mind?”

and suddenly, without even thinking, the words tumble out in such a nonchalant way that she’s furrowing her brows from her own sudden confession. “i wanna start our family, parker.” her tone is so casual that he might’ve thought she was commenting about the weather had he not been paying attention to her words that time. three months of panic and terror about how she should say it, making sure the moment was right, and that was how she gave him the news —- through a random outburst over breakfast.

soft, hazel hues flit up to meet parker’s wide-eyed gaze. his hands are trembling as he places the plates down, the clink of the china the only sound echoing through the homey kitchen. “—- you do?” his voice is soft, practically a whisper, and charlie wonders what’s going throughhis mind now. probably something about how it’s about damn time.

her heart begins to thump faster, teeth pulling at her lesser lip from nervous habit. she parts her lips to respond once, then again, but finds no words forming. pushing up from her chair, she rests her hand gently on either side of his face, tilting him down to meet her eyes. “thank you for being so, so patient with me.” the moment is so sensitive that neither can bear to raise their voice even an hair above whispering. “can’t you picture it? it’s all i’ve been thinking about for months.” despite how tentative she’d been to raise the topic, she knew without a doubt that parker would be a model father. there was so much love he could give, especially to his own son or daughter. it was a quality that had always attracted charlotte to him. truthfully, the two of them would provide such an unbeatable parenting team that it was borderline shameful that they hadn’t tried years ago.