a very blessed girl.
a very healed girl.
a very lucky girl.

blake kathryn
Jules of Nature
The Bowery Presents

tannertan36
𓃗
cherry valley forever

if i look back, i am lost
noise dept.
h

titsay
One Nice Bug Per Day
art blog(derogatory)

Andulka
trying on a metaphor

#extradirty
ojovivo
Fai_Ryy
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

roma★

izzy's playlists!
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@chaoticyetcalm
a very blessed girl.
a very healed girl.
a very lucky girl.

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all you can do is keep picking
yourself back up and trying again
it's going to be the last summer where i can be unemployed without any label (entering my last year of undergrad course)
lately feeling a lot down. i keep telling myself that it's all in my mind, whatever i think will happen, don't enter the negative loop of thoughts. but everything seems out of control. my thoughts, my life, the circumstances. feels like forcing myself to feel positive is doing no good, rather it's suffocating me. holding me to a place. rendering motionless. it's been so long since i have journaled. i want somebody to hear my thoughts but i don't want to tell anyone. i know life's been fair and generous to me in all aspects of my life. but it's suffocating me for the past few months.
Sometimes I randomly remember how the most important people of my life from like 6-7 years ago are not in my life at all anymore and that's sort of terrifying and also crazy to realize how you actually can survive loss beyond your comprehension and find happiness stronger and more suited for you if you keep going

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life's when on a random saturday you start to feel it more and you start loving yourself more than ever before
last week i was peeling an orange in the kitchen and i didn’t mean for it to become anything.
a gentle reminder for myself (and maybe you)
some essays to fill your time
Just a bunch of things I've read recently.
The Authoritarian Roots of India's Democracy by Tripurdaman Singh
Why is Everything So Ugly?
Casual Viewing by Will Tavlin
“You are Next”: Unmarried Urban Women in India and the “Marriage Talk” by Shilpa Phadke
Crossing Days by Thomas Dai
Inside the Indian Manosphere by Lhendup Bhatia
Optimism and Desperation by Camilla Grudova
Everyone is Cheating Their Way Through College by James Walsh
Blunt-Force Ethnic Credibility by Som-Mai Nguyen
When My Authentic is Your Exotic by Soniah Kamal
The discontent of Russia by Joy Neumeyer
On anti-political projects by Kat Rosenfield
'Correcting' historical wrongs is a slippery slope by Manu Pillai
some more:
Social media and the collapse of ritual
Where are Lucy's friends in Materialists?
Sociologism Literature by Harry Schiller
Passion and Palestine by Derek Penslar
New TV Novels by Lisa Borst
From Progress to Catastrophe by Perry Anderson
The Crane Wife by CJ Hauser
The Trouble with Friends by Weike Wang
and more:
Is There a God-Shaped Hole at the Heart of Mathematics?
How China Carved up Myanmar
How the Left misread Gramsci
Wildness: Feminism, identity, and the willingness to be defeated
There are no pure cultures
The desperation of the Instagram photo dump
Rethinking maps

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ever since i learned abt the concept of networking i knew i was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way
It's all about how you talk to yourself.
You really will be surprised how much this will help you. Talk positive.
This era is called: I’m not chasing closure. I’m moving forward with the understanding that some doors were meant to stay closed.
*Tawakkul
With the right ones you start loving yourself a little more everyday.

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Be yourself so ppl looking for u can find u
my profs’ advice/comments on impostor syndrome –
“i’ll tell you how i’ve learned to deal with this sort of thing. i didn’t develop a sense of joy in my academic study until i realized that what really matters is the work itself. it’s not about trying to impress anybody or trying to earn a specific grade. it’s all about loving the work, the reading, the writing, the critical conversation. and i think you do love those things, and you do enjoy your academic work when you can get out of your own way about it. now, where i’m at in my career, i have to think about what gets me up in the morning, and that’s not publishing 20 articles a year or seeking external approval. what it is, is writing, reading, and teaching about what I love, my own little academic world that i’ve created.” – prof c
“i wrote shitty papers in college, and i still got a phd. you’re not supposed to know everything yet! you’re still learning! you know what, write that on a post-it and stick it on your laptop. you don’t have to know it all yet. you don’t have to be perfect.” – prof s
“while i can assure you that you should not feel like an imposter, i can also confess that the syndrome is common at all levels of academia – so you should not think yourself abnormal to be experiencing it.” (x)
“i hate to say/write this, but it’s sort of true: that you having these impostor-syndrome reactions, these worries about disappointing those you respect … to me, that sort of signals that you do have traits common to many successful academics! even people who have masses of success behind them – and, come to think of it, particularly the people who have a lot of cred *and* outside affirmation of it – suffer from impostor syndrome *if* (and the if is important) they genuinely care about the quality of their work. so: if it’s possible to think of these feelings as symptomatic of a characteristic many good academics share, then please do. (…) the important thing is this: how counterproductive it can be for self-sabotaging people to think of themselves as being ‘born’ to do something. it makes any possibility of missing the mark immediately existential. academic work is something one chooses because one has a strong interest in a certain field of study, an ability to study and produce credible work (as judged by ‘authorities’ in said field), and a social possibility to choose to proceed in that direction. sometimes, i, at least, find it helpful to remind myself of the simple facts of this. (…) i do think it’s important to put the activating gesture of entering grad school very firmly in your own hands. you are choosing this. you are choosing it because you want it, others have said that you are capable, and you have the practical possibility of choosing it. this is enough. the work will be enough without the existential heft, and the existential heft will not make the work better.” – s
from my lit teacher’s wife, an english prof at ucb who graduated from yale – ”yes—i feel like this often—and so does every person i’m close to in academia, and every graduate student ever. the key is to just feel the fear and do it anyway, especially when ‘do it’ means ‘write.’”