ChaosDukemon

i will not lie, friends in my phone, i have been imagining affection from time to time

(mid-divorce) the american education system never taught me how to cherish a woman

(picking up rat that controls me by my hair) but you. you know how

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

the replacement of websites with apps sounds so backwards when you actually describe it. like hmm you have to download an entire program onto your device each time you want access to a portal, where it takes up storage indefinitely. somebody should invent an app where you can "browse" any portal just by typing in its address... 🥴

One time I came home from uni very upset and my younger siblings asked what's wrong. I said that mutated flies in our lab escaped because someone broke their jar. I didn't even realise how scary it sounded to them until I saw their faces lmao. I was upset because we were short on said flies (they don't reproduce very well) and my siblings thought that some crazy radioactive fly monsters escaped and we are all fucked now. Love being a mad scientist in their eyes lowkey

i think everyone in the whole world forgot that mystery doesn’t have to equal crime

sometimes it’s just like. what happent ?

*dirty talking* you’ve been a very bad boy and im just going to straight up kill you now

“global birth rates are declining”…… yeah and so are the reblog rates on tumblr.com too, so what now

They Throw These at me Because I am so Beautiful and a Star.

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

we really should be calling it fanworks, not content

I'm here for fun and community not to rp a mega corporation's underpaid social media intern

i just don’t know if that many of us need to be on the roads driving. we should live in a world where more people can sit that one out

a week into artfight i would like to give out the following reminders: it is okay if you thought you were going to participate but ended up not having time. it is fine if you started out enthused and then lost steam. you do not owe anyone revenges. you are not 'behind' and you are not letting anybody down. it is a silly little game for fun. do not forget this.

"Employment" big scam. Big scam to distract You from what matters,posting on Ur tumblr blog at 3am