I wish I could stay here.

So, I don't really use this anymore so whatever. I haven't really needed to. Recently I've been feeling really body conscious. I'm just not happy with it. I need to change and I'm taking the gym more seriously but I struggle so hard with food. I have been having like more fruit and veg but I can't quit the bad stuff. I can't help eating chocolate and crisps and rubbish. I wish I could eat better so hard. I was just looking at old photographs and even 2 years ago I had an alright body. I want the one I had 4 years ago. I can see such a difference and it's really annoying. Ugh. I really want change but it's difficult. I really need to try though. It's not just my body though like I wish I was magical with make up like I was actually talented with it that would be nice. I have to shove my hair up 5 days a week for work too so I feel so scruffy and horrible. I just wish I could make more effort with myself. Whatever, standard girl problems really.

So glad I have money to do things and treat myself and contribute to the flat more. It's great. Hard work is worth it. I burnt myself quite bad yesterday but today I have new clothes so swings and roundabouts.