Rust & Stardust

You stared blankly at the not one, not two, but five plastic sticks that lay before you on the tiny sink of the Airstream. There was no doubt about it. You were knocked up.

You swallowed nervously, quickly glancing away from the positive tests and up to your own reflection in the mirror. You had been trying to push away the telltale signs, but somewhere deep down you knew had a sinking suspicion. You had been nauseous the past few weeks and thought maybe you had been gaining a little weight from eating too many pancakes from the diner (after all, what life on the road was healthy?) Not to mention the fact that you and Ash haven’t exactly been careful the past few weeks. You both had cheated death one too many times and were both so happy to make it out alive, that…well. Here you were.

Oh, God. What were you going to do? Speaking of a not healthy life on the road, this surely was no life for a baby. You fought literal demons from Hell. 

You suddenly felt your heart stop and almost drop down to your feet as something even scarier crossed your mind.

What would Ash think about all of this? He surely didn’t want kids…right? He was considerably older than you and was practically a big kid at heart himself. There was no way. What would you tell him? 

Thankfully, you wouldn’t have to think long about this predicament. You were interrupted from your thoughts as you heard the front door swing open.

“Hey doll, what’s shakin’?” the tall, dark, and handsome man you had come to know as your lover called out and strolled into the airstream, sighing as he unstrapped the gun belt from his chest. He tossed it to the floor and plopped down onto the couch with an audible sigh.

You slowly exited the bathroom, trying your best to keep your cool. You managed a smile and approached him with whatever courage you could muster up.

He smiled upon your entrance into the room, reaching out his robotic hand to you. You gingerly took his gesture. He pulled you down to his lap and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Mmm, I missed you today,” he breathed into your chest, nuzzling softly against your neck. You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close.

“Looks like someone missed me today too.” 

Your grip remained strong as you continued to hold him close to you. 

“Baby?”

His classic term of endearment for you now almost made you freeze and filled you with a new kind of fear. He managed to gently break away from you, his hand immediately reaching up to cradle your face.

“Hey, what is it?”

You couldn’t hide the tears that began to well in your eyes. You quietly bit your lip, worrying the flesh between your teeth. You searched the poor man’s face, his warm eyes filled with concern as he waited for you to answer him. 

“Ash, I’m pregnant,” you blurted, the words flooding from your mouth before you could even stop them. 

Ash’s expression went blank, almost emotionless as he paused. All color had drained from his face, an unnatural pallor crossing his chiseled features. Your heart pounded in your chest like a jackhammer as you waited for a response. His chocolate eyes bore into yours intensely and unwavering, and you suddenly felt the most vulnerable you had ever felt.

“Ash, please say something,” you whispered.

His jaw slackened, a sense of unease washing over you.

“I’m sorry, I think I misheard you. I thought you said that you were-”

You swallowed, your stare pleading. 

“I did.”

Then seemingly out of nowhere, he let out a loud, single chuckle, the sudden response almost making you jump. He rumbled beneath you. You quickly crawled off his lap and sat next to him. Without much change in the utter shock of his expression, he stood quickly and paced to the other side of the Airstream.

“No, no, no. No way, if I learned anything in life it’s to always wrap it. To ‘don’t be silly, wrap your willy.’ Wear a raincoat when it rains. Glove it before you love it-“

“Ash!” You stood, interrupting his ramble of how many descriptive phrases he could list of putting on a damn condom. 

You honestly didn’t know what to say. You wish you did. You were hoping his reaction would’ve been…well, more. You had secretly hoped he would’ve known what to do. It certainly takes two to tango and that’s sure as hell how you both ended up here. 

He was quick to sigh. “Shit…I…that wasn’t the best reaction to that, was it?” He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

You hadn’t noticed it, but the tears were spilling down your cheeks now. Your face burned red hot.

“You don’t think I’m scared, Ash? This is terrifying…and I just fought a biker bar full of fucking demons last Thursday. That’s saying something, for Christ’s sake!”

He crossed back over to you, holding you close and wiping the tears from your cheek.

“Please don’t cry…I’m just…shocked, is all. Didn’t realize my swimmers were still in Olympic shape.”

You managed a breathy laugh, your head quickly hanging to stare at the floor. God, you wanted the earth to swallow you whole. Well, maybe not, given your hellish track record. 

His next question surprised you.

“Is this…what you want?”

You thought for a moment, and what suprised you, even more, was how quickly you had an answer.

“I…I think I do. I mean, I know this life isn’t ideal for this, and it’s selfish but…I want this Ash. I want this with you.”

And that was the truth.

It was Ash’s turn to stare at the floor now, the usually confident and boisterous man appearing timorous and uneasy before you.

“Baby, I’m an old man. I’m not so sure someone like me can…do something like this.”

Every so often, you could see Ash’s insecurity at his age. This was one of those moments. He knew he was getting older. Hell, no one was fooled by the black hair dye. But you loved him regardless, and he still saved you and the whole fuckin’ world every time. 

“To be fair, you didn’t think you could be El Jefe, either…but here you are. And besides,” you rested your hands on his biceps, giving them a light squeeze, “if we can kill the dead and save the world…I think we can handle a baby.”

That’s when you saw Ash smile from ear to ear.

“A baby…My babydoll is havin’ a baby…We’re having a baby.”

You nodded, pulling him tight to you in an embrace.

“Goddamn, I love you,” he murmured against your skin. 

He sighed. “Look, Y/N. I know this is a lot. Let’s just get back to the airstream and talk about this, huh?”

“I don’t think talking is going to change the fact that I’m engaged, apparently.”

Chet perked up at this, offering a goofy grin. “Oh hey congrats!”

“No, you idiot. It’s an arranged marriage,” Ash sighed, voice dripping with exasperation.

His smile fell. “Oh. Yikes.”

You nodded in agreement. “Yeah.”

You both watched Chet finish making your drink in silence. He placed the drink in front of you. 

“There you are, an Elk Grove specialty. Don’t waste any time, now. Throw that baby back!”

Ash’s mechanical hand suddenly reached across to block you. “Y/N, I’m warning you. Don’t drink that.”

You scoffed, pushing away his arm. “Or else what? What are you, my dad?”

Seriously, who did he think he was? You were engaged to a fucking demon for heaven’s sake. You were allowed to mourn this more than unsavory union in your own way.

Ash frowned and leaned in closer to you. “Watch it, or else daddy’ll have to teach you a lesson.”

You shrugged, trying your best to ignore the heat flushing over your body and in your core at his threat. You quickly took the glass and raised the rosé colored liquid to your lips before he could protest. It was sweet, leaving a slight tingle on your tongue.

You turned back to Ash and he sighed, defeated. He watched you, dumbstruck, as you sensually licked the remaining alcohol from your lips. “And what lesson is that?”

Ash was at a loss for words.

You winked, casually turning back to the bartender. You raised the glass in your hands and inspected its contents. “That’s pretty good, Chet! One bartender to another- what’s in this?”

“Vodka, strawberry liqueur, grenadine, lemonade, ketamine, a little sprinkle of orange zest and nutmeg…”

You almost choked, coughing on your final gulp.

“Did you just say ketamine?!”

“Only the special-est K for my customers!” Chet beamed. 

You blinked, setting the glass onto the countertop with a ‘thud’. You turned back to Ash with wide eyes.

“Hey, I warned you.”

The tingle on your tongue had now turned into a full on numb sensation. There was no way this was going to end well for you.

Ash’s annoyance quickly dissipated into a chuckle. The damage had been done.

“Seriously, have I ever steered you wrong before? You have to build an immunity up to this stuff. Chet, go ahead and make me one.”

“Already ahead of you, brother.”

Chet poured two more servings from the silver cocktail shaker, passing a glass to Ash. They raised their cups in a cheers.

“To kicking evil’s ass. Seriously, Y/N. We’re going to get this fucker. No worries.”

You gulped. “Well now I’m not worried about that, am I gonna like…have a heart attack now? Die or something?!”

Ash and Chet shared a look before joining in together in an uproarious laughter. “Yeah no, but seriously, you’re in for a treat.”

You rolled your eyes, making your way over to an empty barstool. A very warm feeling suddenly began to spread over you, flushing your face and heating your chest. 

“Woah…” You took another step forward and almost missed your footing completely. Ash quickly caught you in his arms as you stumbled forward. 

“Yeah, okay, champ. Let’s get you out of here.” 

“Mhmmm,” you giggled. “You’re strong.”

You sloppily dragged a finger down his bicep.

“And you’re drunker than who shot John, come on.”

A feeling of euphoria had taken over you, and you could hardly see straight. All you knew was that the man holding you in his arms right now felt strong, safe, and…ridiculously handsome right now.

You both were soon approached by Kelly and Pablo, leaving Ruby to sulk alone at her table. 

“Is she okay?” The two looked at each other knowingly. “Pink Fuck,” they said in unison.

Ash nodded. “Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and get this one back somewhere where she can’t do anymore damage.”

Kelly eyed you, sighing wistfully. “Yeah, remember the first time I tried that stuff?”

“Yeah, you KO’d pretty hard, Kel,” chuckled Pablo.

“But it felt so nice! Lemme have a glass-“

Ash quickly cut her off, struggling to keep you standing straight. “No can do. No more room to babysit tonight.”

She rolled her eyes, turning back to the bar. “Ugh, fine. Fuck it, bring on the beer I guess.”

“That’s my little alcoholic.”

She quickly turned back to flick Ash off. Pablo smiled.

“Get her home safe, Jefe! We’ll brainstorm some ideas on how to get Baal.”

“Thanks Pablo. You’re a real pal.”

~

Your vision was completely blurred as you crashed down onto a soft surface. Where were you? You giggled, smoothing your arms over what you could only assume was a bedspread. You were in the Airstream. On Ash’s bed. This could be fun.

“Alright, you can sleep this off here. I’ll take the couch. We’ll go back to killing evil tomorrow.”

You quickly sat up to the edge of the bed and reached a hand out, grabbing his. You smirked and with one swift move, pulled the man standing before you to his knees.

“Y/N, what are you-“

“Shhh,” you whispered, sloppily hanging a finger on his lips. “Kiss me, Ash.”

The older man gulped, staring at you intently with brown eyes. “Y/N, you’re very very intoxicated right now. And depressed. That’s a combo that equals no bueno.”

You pouted, trailing your fingers across his jaw. The alcohol and apparent drugs running through your system gave you a surge of confidence you didn’t normally have. “Ash, please.”

He shook his head. “I can’t, Y/N.”

Somewhere deep inside of you wondered if he didn’t want you. What kind of man like him, a Jefe, would want just some girl like you?

He stood to his feet, turning to leave. You didn’t want to see him go quite yet.

“Ash?”

“Yeah, doll?”

“Will you at least sleep next to me? You don’t have to sleep on the couch,” you slurred.

“I’m not quite so sure that’s a good idea-“

“Please? I’m afraid of seeing him again in my dreams…Baal.”

He couldn’t resist the e/c, doe-eyed look in your plea. Ash wanted nothing more than to have taken you up on your offer, and make sweet sweet love to you all night long. But he knew better.

A deep reluctance filled his veins as he defeatedly crawled into the bed next to you, and you immediately inched to his side. You snuggled into his chest, breathing in the faint smell of aftershave and motor oil. You snaked a leg around his and held him close.

“Thank you,” you breathed, slowly drifting off into a deep sleep- the safest you had felt in days.

-