My great grandmother was a quiet, frail woman during the time I knew her, someone who seemed lost in her own world. But the stories I’ve heard about her tell a different tale. She was harsh and cruel, especially to her daughters-in-law and sons. She cared only for herself and her husband, and after he died, she stubbornly refused to leave their old house, claiming it was to honor his memory. In reality, she descended into madness in that lonely house. I remember her as a bitter, stuck-up lady who never had a kind word for anyone except her husband.
Her eldest son, my grandfather, wasn’t much different. He had a soft spot for his mother but showed little regard for anyone else. Obsessed with money, he married off his children to whoever offered the highest dowry, not caring about their happiness. This led to a series of disastrous marriages. One daughter was married to a violent man, while his two sons married selfish women who made their lives miserable. My mother, the youngest daughter, ended up with a lunatic who tried to kill me.
My uncle, the second son of my grandfather, suffered greatly. He was driven to madness by the torment from his wife and the harshness of his father. Eventually, this led to his death. Growing up in such a family, I never knew what a normal family was supposed to be like. My mother resents me, imagining her life would have been better without me. The uncle who once showed me love was destroyed by our family. My life was filled with loneliness, with no one to talk to except my reflection in the mirror.
Through all this, I learned something important: love isn't given to everyone equally in a family. Even the most terrible people have someone they cherish. My great grandmother, who was awful to everyone, was sweet to her husband. Despite her many flaws, she was loving and kind to him. My grandfather, who cared for no one else, was devoted to his mother. He refused to leave her side and took care of her until her last breath. Another grandmother of mine, who slowly lost herself to Alzheimer's, forgot everything—her son, herself, even basic tasks. But she never forgot her husband. She would call out for him, even when she mistook her own son for an intruder.
In all these fragmented relationships, I saw that people aren’t perfect. They can be deeply flawed and cruel, but to those they love, they can seem perfect. Everyone has someone they care about deeply, someone who sees a gentler, more loving side of them that others might never witness. Despite all their imperfections and the harm they might cause, there's often a soft spot, a tender side, reserved for the ones they truly love. This paradox taught me that while people can be horrible, their capacity for love and tenderness towards certain individuals can make them seem almost perfect in the eyes of those they cherish.