Uhh- Caz Doing Stuff!!

Being in the car is one of the most godawful overstimulating things ever, I wanna scream and cry and rip off my ears and turn this car around and make all the noises stop and turn off all the icky lights and I want to fucking sleep and shut it all off and out

Sorry, no, I actually can’t be normal about them? I need their first name on my skin and their last name on my marriage papers.

I hope you think of me as often as I think of you. You’ve been all I think of lately? When I wake up. When I I’m brushing my teeth. Shedding the clothes I dreamt of you in last night, and stepping into fresh clothes that I think you’d like and tugging your jacket on. Sitting down for breakfast and thinking about what cereal you’ll eventually be making me try. (Cheerio sand…) Slipping on the shoes, that despite how much I pack with insoles and socks, I’m not as tall as you, for my morning walk. Barely trotting down the street and looking down at the sidewalk, I think of how I’ve started to walk father and father from the street, imitating how we walked down the street after school. I see the summer school bus come by and I think of how you’d wait ages with me for mine to come, and insist it’s not a big deal. I go home and I sit on the couch, same place we sat, cuddled. Sure I have my own hobbies and interests, but I’m more than 100% sure I might’ve picked up a lot from you. Bits and pieces of media or knowledge, or things that remind me of you. Everything has something to do with them and I miss them and I’m yearning…. What am I doing 🥹