Catra

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audhd

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if anyone from irl ever discovers this blog ill have to kill everyone in the room and then myself

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today that I thought would be about restarting stimulants, but when I told her how I haven't slept through the night in over a month, she just said to exercise, and told me to seek further psychotherapy like she's told me to the last several appointments.

I can't get myself to DO anything, because I'm so fucking depressed and my ADHD is unmedicated. You think telling me to do it again is going to change anything? And what makes you think I can motivate myself to exercise just because she says it's really important? I think it's bullshit anyway. I don't sleep any better on days that I do exercise.

So she said to exercise more, and I told her that I needed to stay within my limits because of my history of chronic fatigue, and she said that chronic fatigue makes you tired, but you have to push through it and exercise harder or some bullshit.

THAT IS NOT HOW CHRONIC FATIGUE WORKS

Management of chronic fatigue looks like moderate exercise depending on your capacity. Ignoring my capacity and pushing myself was how I had my first chronic fatigue flare.

That was the bit of hope I was holding onto... That I could get back on my meds, and things would be a little more manageable. So that's gone now.