Is this going to be our first rant? Will it really be about dating apps? I was planning something different... but okay I guess we can go off this!
(This happened a couple of months ago.)
Iâve pretty much been lonely my entire life (meaning romantically, I do indeed have friends), Iâve had things with people and you know, relationships that last 1-2 weeks then it just doesnât work out, thatâs just how much life wants me to be a crazy cat lady. Iâm almost there, I just need more cats. But anyways, Iâm at the age where everyone wants someone to call âtheirsâ, well most people, I canât speak for everyone; but in my friend group, Iâm one of the few who doesnât have a guy on her radar or even a sex life, so of course the only way my friends wanted to âget me out thereâ was... yep! you guessed it! Tinder.Â
Now, let me tell you, Iâm not one of those people that canât be single for more than 5 minutes, I donât mind being single - most of the time - if I need attention I can get it from guys Iâve friend zoned. sorry not sorry. So itâs kind of a big deal that I got Tinder but okay okay, Iâm getting ahead of myself. Letâs explain how this went down.
So, 2 of my best friends, they lived far away during this time, so I got them to stay a night before they headed off to the other side of the country. Now, I love them and all but after not seeing them for at least 6 months, I was shocked to see that all they wanted to do while at my house was use my internet and sit on their phones all day, I was pretty annoyed about it but I thought oh what the heck, itâs fine, we are going to go shopping tomorrow, weâll gossip and shit then. I donât really know what caused them to get so addicted to their phones and especially Tinder. I really donât mind people getting dating apps but guys, girls, people of all genders, donât become so intertwined with all of this. Look up from your phone, spend time with ya peeps. Maybe you have to use a dating app because you look down so much. Itâs hard I know, but trust me, phones are gross things.
Great. This is going to be much longer than I thought. Oh well, no-one is going to read this anyways so it doesnât matter. They got to my house early afternoon and we planned to go on an adventure to the beach before 4 pm which I was super excited for because adventures are my life. After chatting for a bit and seeing how everyone was doing, the phones come out. âWhat you two doing?â I ask as I bring in the snacks like the good host I am, âOh we are on Tinder! Look at this guy, we matched and heâs so cute!âÂ
I had already been warned that they had Tinder by one of them the night before coming to mine, and I was cool with it. But never did I think Iâd have to wait 3 hours, while they were busy talking to horny and desperate guys. Okay so itâs not omegle.com but still, some of the guys on there are creepy as fuck. It was summer but it was getting colder by each hour that passed. It was 3:10 pm, âhey guys... we still heading to the beach?â you can probably guess what they âhesitantlyâ responded with, â...oh I forgot we were going... maybe later, or tomorrow, we have plenty of time!â Now of course I agree and just say itâs completely fine, but man was I disappointed! So I tried to make more of a conversation and what else to talk about than what they were doing? bAD IDEA. â...blah blah boys blah blah cute and flirty blah so many matches!â Call me a bad friend but I zoned out on that shit. âOH I HAVE AN IDEA! Letâs make Cat a Tinder!!âÂ
Uh, excuse me? You know how when youâre too nice to firmly say no and people think youâre just kidding but you fully donât want to? They still made me a Tinder. Okay Cat, maybe itâs not that bad... just go with it. Just swipe left or right. *swipes up trying to get out of the bio* WHY IS THE SCREEN BLUE?!?! WHY IS THAT AN INSTANT MATCH. WHATâS THIS SUPER LIKE?!?!? *faints*
âAye girl! Getting some good matches! ;)â I felt liked I guess, people think Iâm pretty? People are interested in me? *New Message from Fuck Boy Number 1 out of too many to count* O////O what is this... a possible love letter from my secret admirer? From my one and only?? A special and original thought just for little old me?! sENPAI?? âIf you were a triangle you'd be acute one đđŠđđŚâ¤â Oh FUCK no. Message after message, it was always the same, some stupid overused pickup line, some people were very straight forward where they wanted my snap to send me dick pics, some didnât try at all by responding with one word answers. It had been 1 hour of being on it and I was already bored. I watched my friends do their thing instead, message everyone, and go back to swiping left or right, go on Snap, go on Instagram, go on Messenger, go back on Tinder, repeat.Â
I didnât get the rush, I didnât understand the point. I donât know these random people, I donât want to know them. I felt uncomfortable, I didnât like this. I knew where this was going because something similar happened to me earlier last year (thatâs a story for another time), so I left my phone there, I felt guilty for wanting to delete it so quickly, not just for my friends but all the people I had led on. But then I thought, on dating apps, no one is loyal, everyone talks to like 10 people at least. Youâre not special, sure you could be the favourite but youâre not the only one. My friends and I would match with the same people, then weâd say to each other, âNo no, you have that one! You think heâs really cute!â Well whatâs the point? Theyâre still talking to another 20 people! So really whatâs it to them if I yeet? they donât know me, they donât feel anything for me, sure they think Iâm acute triangle, but they wonât care! i decided Iâll wait a bit longer until my friends left the following day to delete it, I know I shouldâve deleted it right then and there but I felt guilty and at the same time curious... I muted the app and only checked it once an hour or so. Got the casual messages but eh.
By this point it was 5:30 pm, dinner time, we still hadnât left my room, they were still on their phones. To make this part short because Iâve written too much, we left to go to the beach at about 7 in the evening, and only then did they finally put their phones away and we had good chats till about 11:30 pm. It was a good time; 11/10. The next day was shopping day, where they couldnât be fucked going anywhere but I for once took charge of the situation and said, we are leaving in 30 minutes. But oh my fucking god, they were on their phones while shopping, like seriously? Havenât you had enough? Theyâd pull their phones out as soon as they heard a notification from anything, but mainly Tinder.
I love my friends, theyâre absolute babes, but I donât know what happened here. I donât know what happened to them. Social media changes people, you really have to watch what you do, how you use your time, balance is key in life and as soon as you get into a bad habit - like this one using Tinder - it just becomes a nasty addiction, and the sad thing is that this can happen with anything. I wish I got more time to spend with them but I guess Tinder was more important at the time.Â
One of them messaged me the following day explaining that she was now uncomfortable with the whole concept of Tinder, she didnât know what she was thinking, people were hitting on her too much and wanted to meet up. There were some whoâs intentions were too much. And I understood this, I didnât tell her some stupid shit like âI kNew ThiS wOUld hAPpEnâ but I said to her something along the lines of: âGirl, dating apps are toxic, they consume you, you donât know if you can trust these people, the best way to meet people is in person, because you see what theyâre like instantly, you get a true first impression because online? Itâs barely possible, itâs just words, but how people act is so much more. People on this arenât even loyal, just in the same way when you were talking to about 6 boys at the same time, theyâre the same, theyâll be talking to other people too. Delete the app. Itâs not necessary.â And so she deleted it, sheâs so much happier, but she still is slightly traumatized by the fact that she might end up bumping into some of the guys who were being quite forward with her. But it just shows how it can affect you, attention is nice but that is not how to get it. Iâm not saying all people on dating apps suck, but through my experience and also my friendâs, I do not like it, itâs not the thing for me. If it worked for you I praise you! Iâm proud! But I think itâs toxic for me, itâs toxic for my friends. Itâs not true commitment, and relationships build on this, so really... is it even a dating app? itâs more of a hook up app where you barely hook up. Maybe Iâm wrong though! Maybe itâs just in my area that it absolutely fucking sucks. But to me it feels like people just use each other, they can easily manipulate you from behind a screen. I am really bad at finishing things off so Iâll finish this with:
Dating apps are a no-no, I donât recommend them. But if you do use them, please look out for any red flags, youâre so much more, you deserve better! Take care children, and use protection.
This was Cat, thank you for listening. Over and Out xx