Bring me a jar of marshmallow worms and I'll speak

99% of people won’t reblog this because they think it’ll make their blog look as shitty as their heart.

You have got to be the most philosophical drunk I have ever met; do you come to this bar often?

I know you don’t know me, and I definitely don’t know you, but you really suck at riding this bike so I’ll teach you how to ride right now to save you future embarrassment

I’m hitchhiking with this person I do not know, holy shit balls what if they’re a deranged murderer or something and– wait you like [fave band/singer/etc]? Dude, let’s rock the fuck out with your volume at 100

So my friend stood me up, and your friend stood you up, so how about you let me have your extra movie ticket and we’ll go see Jurassic World together?

I was completely ignoring you the entire time, but the moment I heard my NOTP’s name slip out your lips, I freakin’ snapped

Because I took pity on you, I’m giving you ride home on my (motor)bike and we’re having some pretty deep conversations on some really deep topics… Wanna do this again sometime?

Well random stranger, I saw from across the arcade you’ve been kicking major ass on DDR… Allow me to dethrone you.

Turns out that car I kicked yesterday was the car that belonged to my new lit teacher and they recognize me. FML

I just got a major role in a play and this stranger I see at my bus stop all the time has been helping me practice them… Hey do maybe you wanna go see the play?

Why the hell did you take a picture of me?! Wait… You think I’m cute?… *blushing* wanna fight…?!

So I’ve been singing some old Disney Classics and you heard through our really thin apartment walls and joined in right when I got to the chorus of Can You Feel The Love Tonight (and holy shit do we make a good duet!)

So I see you’re watching the new season of OITNB on your phone… plz let me watch with you

It’s the middle of June, who in the living fuck is going around singing Santa Claus Is Coming To Town on loop obnoxiously loud in the middle of the store

So my friends dared me to ask a random person out on a date and the person I asked actually said yes wth do I do?!

Eww they like fishing? Crap they heard me and now they’re making me go fish with them; why do I open my big mouth at the shittiest of times?

For the path month this person at my favorite bookstore has been telling me about their shitty at home life everyday on Saturday at a specific time and they aren’t here today, what do I do?

I’ve been having these convos with this person in the class after mine by writing notes to each other on the desk we both share and I wanna meet them now

Alternatively, I drew this sweet ass picture on my desk and when I came back to class the next day there was a note written on the desk that said it ‘was not too shabby’ and pointed out the flaws in it. So that kinda became routine as I continue to try and get your approval on one of my pieces and damn it you are hard to please

I threw a concert and you’re the only person that showed up… Wanna free T-Shirt and CD? (totally not from Steven Universe *cough*)

We don’t speak the same language, but despite that we’ve hung out together the entire summer somehow managing to get by on strange gestures and whatnot and despite the language barrier I really like you, but I get the feeling you’ll be leaving soon and I don’t even know your name

these idiots [ask fic] :P

Moriarty, HAPPY BIRTHDAY torchwood221b \o/ ~♥

In honor of US pride month, here’s a good chunk of the asexual community sub-sections :)