V I S U A L T O N I C

She is learning. Learning that it's okay, To try & to fail. How to try again. That a soft heart is a heart that is alive. Broken, But being grown & watered. Trembling and unsure, But she is stronger now. Still trying. She's stepping out, Deciding to care. She's laying down Her cares and deepest fears At the feet of Jesus. Caught between anticipation & The brink of unknowns, She looks up. She whispers, "I trust You."

March 19, 2018. I’ve seen this day approaching on my calendar and honestly I’ve dreaded the arrival of it. It’s taken all I’ve got just to keep it together. But like a bridge, you have to cross it in order to move forward. So even though today looks a lot different than it was supposed to and the pain I feel is real. Even though I’m not okay, I know I will be. I can feel the pain. I can grieve. But I can also choose to not allow that pain to hold me back from LOVE anymore. So today, I will choose to walk forward & let go. To make today a different kind of anniversary. To make the right covenant FIRST….. To myself. To God & to never settling again. So I vow - “Catherine, you are so brave. You are so unbelievably beautiful. Don’t ever lessen your light. Shine bright. Be unashamedly yourself. Don’t relent. Don’t weaken yourself. Strong heart, stay strong. Soft heart, stay soft. Stay brilliantly alive. Know that you are recklessly loved by a God that will never forsake you. You are the dream of His heart, darling. You are His beloved BRIDE. Stay rooted in Him. He is always planting hope in the garden of your heart. He is always working out a victory in you. I promise from this day forward to love, honor and cherish you. I promise to love you in ALL of your forms. To believe in every detail about you. I vow to accept you for who you are in each moment and every season of your journey. I commit to never abandon you. I promise to be kind, to speak to you with grace, to hold you close, to celebrate every inch forward. I will encourage you and not criticize you. I will not judge you, but instead show you the grace that Jesus offers always. I promise to support all your dreams and desires. To never let you lose sight & settle for less or ordinary. I choose to be loyal to you. To deeply love you, until your last breath on this side of heaven.” ❤️

To the one who broke my heart - Thank you. Because of you, i was able to realize that there were groaning voids of my heart i hadn’t dealt with. voids so deep and dry, no man or thing could’ve ever filled them. i had to love my real self before i could love anything, and i had to know God to know love. i understand His heart now. that I am truly sought out by Him. FAITHFULLY sought out. unconditionally delighted in & called holy and redeemed. and that's the sweetest truth. because of you i learned..... that the most painful decisions can also be our bravest ones. that waiting is actually one of the most beautiful things. it isn't painful and it isn't scary... settling is. that i have such a deep capacity to love and to the right people, it's not overlooked or shamed. i'm not crazy. i'm not too sensitive. i am more than enough. that not everyone will leave when they see your ugly. and the some that do? you let them go. then you cherish the ones by your side. you squeeze them and you fight for them with every fiber of your being. to never make decisions based on fear. but based on following peace. to cherish moments that may seem small or unimportant because tomorrow may have different things in store for me. to pull strength from places within that i didn't even know existed. that loss is inevitable. that one persons inability to see my worth doesn't mean the absence of it. to not put that worth in human hands. that just because someone desires you, does not mean they value you. that purity is not completely physical. it is a posture of the heart. that my body is a temple, not a playground. that grace and forgiveness isn't pretty. it's completely undeserved, yet given anyway. so thank you. thank you that i finally started to live MY life instead of the life you thought i deserved. it is because you didn't love me, that i decided to pour that overflowing love in my veins into loving myself. it has changed everything. for it was in the rejection of me that i grew. i am growing. I am blooming. thank you for not seeing the greatest parts of me. thank you for not appreciating me. thank you for setting me free. thank you for showing me everything love is not. Xx

The qualities they possess are so rare in the music industry and just people in general. I hope they know how much we appreciate them for that. I could write a book but I’ll just leave it at the fact that I’m absolutely crazy about these humans and I think it’ll always be that way.