it's me. the kettle owner. I own a fucking kettle

ngl i giggled so hard at the idea of "message me on the savior rocky app" i had to draw it so glad its being appreciated

'it can be sooo stressful owning people as property. it makes sense you'd lash out every so often, i mean heck, thats why i don't wanna own any, i couldn't handle how stressful and difficult it is to have to deal with them every day. plus, I just hate the demographic of people that you're legally allowed to own, they're annoying to be around and unclean. i avoid them in public because of that, I'm glad there are so many places they're banned from' and other things you can say about children without anyone batting an eye

u know what i fucking love. is that it's so clear that many of us have important full time jobs. yet you can see us here on tumblr throughout the work day posting about the most unhinged shit possible. like we're really out here going to a meeting then coming back to tumblr like "shane drippy big dick bouncing on that thang" before running back to another meeting like Hi Linda yes I talked to the team earlier and we're ready to send the documents over. How was your weekend

i’d never seen the follow up this is 1000x funnier

I feel it would be good to have a word that's like not ragebait but shamebait, where you can read a post and just go 'ah, this person just wants me to feel ashamed of myself and is not engaging with the issue in a constructive or useful way. I do not have to participate in this actually' and like. move on with your day

your dashboard is supposed to be at LEAST halfway full of shit you have no context for and fandoms you're not involved in. it is the natural way of the universe

The feared sting-ray

*sends you a platonic nude*