Astartes Egente

It was a heck of an experience. No one who doesn't experience military service personally will truly understand the effects that even just basic and military job training have on a person.

There is no civilian equivalent because active military soldiers are subject to laws and rules no civilian has to contemplate.

Your body and your mind are reconditioned so that one can function and complete orders in high stress, life threatening situations...war.

Your feelings do not matter. Your beliefs do not matter. You are trained, conditioned, and expected to pick up a weapon or use any means necessary, to take another person's life if ordered to.

This is just the training.

Deployment and carrying out those orders (killing and experiencing killing) changes you even more.

Then, you are expected to continue carrying out those orders and your job without peer support, counseling, or even any time off to recalibrate and process (like law enforcement or other first responders are encouraged and often made to do).

You go back out the next day or even hours later on mission.

It's not something just anyone can do.

Less than 1% of the US population is actively serving in the military and less than around 7% are military veterans.

You can't be "particular".

There's no "just not feeling it".

No personal days (sometimes you don't even get to have your full leave or off duty times).

No "family and self-care need to come first". You break down from personal stuff during deployment, you get sent back and considered for separation OR you put yourself and those around you in danger, possibly killed.

You don't get to think or consider things, you carry out orders because hesitation can mean you or others will not go home alive. Oh, and in training they severely hammer guilt and accountability into you. Imagine if your workplace trained you by giving your coworkers more work or required unpaid overtime hours every time YOU messed up and made it 100% clear who caused it to everyone

I could go on, but this here has been enough to bring up some inner stuff I need to deal with before handling family, work, and other civilian things today.

When you say "Thank you for your service" to a veteran, please remember these things I have mentioned and that you are thanking them for more than defending our nation or giving up years of a normal life, you are thanking them for taking on long-lasting trauma and being something other (not more or less) than a citizen and forever feeling that.

Thank you for being willing to try to understand.