welcome to my parlour

they want you to make fried rice

who is "they"

the wok left

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

skillet issue

Maybe the most damming thing about Nolans odyssey is i haven’t seen a single gifset from it

image description: a screenshot of Michael from The Good Place sitting down and talking to someone, with an edited caption showing him saying, "It's a TUMBLR insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now." / end description

nostalgia bait is much less effective when you have memory problems. "hey its that thing from your childhood, don't you love thing from your childhood?" i wouldnt know </3 i forgor.

“if you want it just write it” well i would but then i would be the one to have written it. which is simultaneously good & bad. and both brings the fun into it while taking the fun out of it

Trying to identify someone's time zone by the hours that they're active on Tumblr is commiting the logical fallacy of assuming that anyone on here has a regular sleep schedule

Mushrooms aren’t plants OR animals and they are not under the dominion of man OR god.

do me a favor and plz reblog with your five most recently used non-face, non-hand, non-heart emojis

settings > wound > my wound > reopen

This is kinda ominous ngl

Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.

[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]

reblog and tag a tag that you have blocked

He was as tall as he was tall, and his eyes were the color they were. To describe his hair one would say that he had some. His face had all the features you'd expect, and none of the ones you wouldn't. "There he is," people would often say of him, but only when he was there. And they were right.

“are you okay?” oh my god no but for the purposes of this conversation yes i’m fine