Caspian

Sharing with @amberandomly ^^

Turn arounds of my and amber's characters

my chiikawa oc/child Tubig

Small orange side doodle (yet another homage to mini-me who made a wrath-side in 2020, my hc on what Orange could be has changed tho)

I think orange would be impulsivity cause to me its linked w being irrational which is the obvious antonym to logic - that and I think (personally) having orange be 'wrath/rage' detracts slightly from Pattons 'repressing my emotions is bad' arc. Also the 'orange' moments logan has had are often to do w him losing his shit slightly and that Is acting on Impulse if yall are picking up what im putting down

Jon waking up from his coma to Tim at his side: he's still angry, of course, but he doesn't have anywhere better to be (at least, that's his excuse)

Them comparing scars - not only do they have similar ones from the Prentiss attack, but they now have matching burn scars from the explosion. Bonus points if they have scars on opposite sides because they were pressed up against each other when it went off.

Jon having absolutely terrible circulation post-coma (I mean, his heart was stopped for the entire time) and being perpetually cold. Tim, on the other hand, is quite literally a human furnace. One day Tim finds Jon asleep in the archives, shivering profusely, and wordlessly gets into bed beside him to keep him warm; he wakes up the next morning to Jon practically wrapped around him and doesn't have the heart to push him off. Maybe it becomes a regular thing, or maybe it just happens once and neither of them bring it up again.

Tim constantly smelling of cigarette smoke - Jon can't figure out if he smokes that much or if it's a Desolation thing, but either way, the scent is comforting to him.

Tim lighting Jon's cigarettes for him with his Desolation powers. They both know how bad they are for them, but neither of them really care any more, and hey, it's an excuse to spend more time alone together.

...Tim never quite forgiving Jon: he doesn't hate him as much as before, but sometimes when he looks at him, he feels that rush of white-hot anger in his veins and wants, more than anything, for him to burn.

"My- feelings?" Jon echoes flatly, his own cigarette dangling between his fingers. The air is hazy with smoke, the stench of it curling lazily in his gut.

"You know," Tim gestures vaguely, "your emotions- feelings- even you must have them, I'm sure."

Jon steals a glance at his face, turning back at the slight quirk of his lips, an indication that Tim was joking. He takes another drag, whistling out the next exhale. Exasperated, he replies, "In my brain, I suppose? Isn't that where all emotions originate?"

"Well, yes," Tim says, "but you're going about it too literally."

"Was I not supposed to?"

"No. Not like that, at least. For example," Tim puts the cigarette between his lips, takes a drag, and holds his breath. His cheeks puff out from the effort. After a few seconds, he releases his breath, smoke rolling out of his mouth like a creek. "I keep my happiness here, in my cheeks. When I smile, I feel it pulling. When I'm happy, it almost hurts."

"Or--" Tim's hand lowers, lightly patting his abdomen. Jon eyes the still lit cigarette nervously. "--I feel fear here, in my stomach. Sometimes I get so nervous I want to puke."

He flicks his hand up again, staccato, stopping by the hollow of his throat. The tips of his fingers run over his adam's apple, lightly tracing the skin of his neck as he swallows. His voice is significantly softer when he says, "I feel grief in my throat. It almost feels like choking."

"And my anger," he says, turning his hand over, fingers spread out and reaching, "I feel it in my palms, my fingers." He closes it into a fist, hard enough that Jon can see his knuckles turn white. "Like lightning."

Jon stares at his own hand thoughtfully, brow slightly furrowed. He says, haltingly, "Well- I suppose my happiness is in my hands," lightly grazing his fingers over his palm, "they've their own mind sometimes."

"And," Jon taps his collarbone, expression still pinched in thought, "my sadness is in my lungs. Sometimes I can hardly breathe." He huffs a quiet laugh, "Though that might just be all the smoking."

His hand travels to his jaw, hovering before dropping to his side. "My anger is in my tongue, in my gritted teeth. The words fly out before I can reign them in."

Tim snorts. "I can attest to that."

Jon shoves a bony elbow into his side, pointedly ignoring the expletives that follow. His hand wavers in the air for a second, before he tucks it into himself, arms crossed and cigarette dangling from his fingertips. "I guess feel fear in my bones. They burrow into me, like- hm- a worm?"

"A worm." Tim echoes, teasing. "You've got fear worms in you?"

"You asked." Jon shoots back, face warm. "I've never tried to put it into words before. You know what I meant."

One between humanity and monsterhood, with Jon having to decide how much his humanity still matters in a world where he's already done the worst thing possible (End the world) and now gets rewarded for it by being one of the few people who don't have to suffer as terribly as those stuck in dominions. He's stuck between his humanity and thing that gives him power and saves him. He tries to cling to his humanity, but then he's given another choice:

This time it's between selflessness and selfishness. Jon could make the selfish choice and save his world and the people he loves by sending the fears away and likely dooming another universe just to spare his own. His world has already been damaged in a way that's going to be near-impossible to ever come back to "normal" from, and the people he love have already been effected by it irreversibly, unlike the innocent people in the other universe.

The other option is to make the selfless choice. Doom his universe, himself, and the people he loves, but spare another universe from the horror that's already been inflicted on his. He could just let everything slowly and painfully die out, which would be an agonizing process for everyone he knows, but it would spare possibly billions in another world.

And in the end, Jon makes the selfish choice. He choose his world, the people he loves, the people he hurt, the people he took statements from but couldn't truly help until now. He chooses his own priorities instead of a better tomorrow for a bunch of strangers.