friendship, switchblades, and diamond rings 🥀

like that's the place where we grew into our queer identities. the place that was hostile to said identities. the place where the few of us had to stick together. the place where it felt like the only escape was into online communities. bandom. tumblr. the place where I started going to shows when I was in middle school. the place where my dad put mtv on our box tv when I was a little kid and I saw the helena music video. the place where I cried quietly at night trying to convince myself that I believed the words "I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone." the place where I set a countdown timer to my 18th birthday trying to comprehend what 1800 days really meant. the place where we fought like hell to be allowed to have a gender-sexuality alliance in high school, to be permitted to be visible. we lost. the kids that stayed after us stay kept fighting and eventually won. the place where I got dress coded for wearing my three cheers shirt and having my hair dyed red. the same shirt that I wore to the my chemical romance concert on 9/11 in new york city. the same one that my best friend wore to the my chemical romance concert in newark, new jersey where we screamed and cried in each other's arms. "you're not in this alone." I know. I feel it.