carson lanier

“I always get my way once I’m set on something, you should know this by now. There’s no going back once the idea’s in my head.” He teased. “Fine, Merlin you’re needy.” He replied with a laugh, his hand moving to Carson’s back, half out of habit, and half to push him a little faster down the hall. “Maybe I should, I reckon there are a few beds out there that I’d be welcomed in with open arms, and naked bodies.” He played, flashing the other his dimples. “But then I’d have to live with your whining about missing me, and they might want to sleep on the left side of the bed, which is just terrible, you’ve already learned I will burrow into your back until I get my side.”

“Whatever you say Blondy.” Flynn let out a laugh and just kicked the other back in return. “Seriously Kings, you have that effect on women. Hell I’d climb you like a tree if it wouldn’t be like a chihuahua trying to hump the leg of a mastiff, some things are just never meant to be.” He replied jokingly with an overdramatic sigh. “Mate you’re like gentle giant, women love it, you could smash your way across Europe like the plague in the fourteenth century if you wanted.”

“What?” he asked, looking from them to the waitress and back. It took him a moment to notice that the waitress was staring at him from across the bar and almost dropped their fries as she started coming over here. “You think she fancies me? That’s mad, I’ve only just met her. …What do I say?” he asked, slightly nervous now. The man could duel anyone with his eyes closed, but his boggart at this point in his life was probably someone flirting with him.

@carsonlanier

‘oh darling precious, kingsley!’ carson guffawed in laughter, glancing over at the waitress who stumbled over herself with a plate of their chips. ‘she fancies you, it may be entirely physical right now. say thank you, call her love. ask her name, what time she gets off work? merlin, kings, you’d never think someone of your type to be insanely uncomfortable with flirting.’

“You already said you were my sidekick there’s no going back now, you’ve doomed yourself. I don’t want you to be a knight, I don’t trust you with a sword, or any sharp object for that matter.” He teased. “It’s a little your fault, you’re a cuddler, and I just move towards the closest source of heat in my sleep. I don’t want to know about your kink fest of dreams, but I hope they’re plagued with my face to cockblock them.” He played. “Nope still my sidekick.” He teased, grabbing Carson’s sleeve and pulling him towards the stairs back down through the common room and out into the halls. 

flynnigcn:

“Oh Kings, I only bite in the fun way.” He replied waggling his eyebrows in a playfully flirtatious manner. ”You’re just jealous I’m not biting you.” He teased tossing Carson a grin as he nursed his drink. He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him at the waitress’ face, turning into a laugh shortly after due to Carson’s outburst. “Maybe it’s because you look like you ate the Hufflepuff quidditch team and then bench pressed Hagrid for breakfast.” 

“I’m getting mixed messages here,” he laughed. He was a bit confused by the laughter from his friends after the blushing waitress left the table, but he laughed along, as he always did. “I’m not that scary. Aren’t I a teddy bear, isn’t that what you’ve always said?” he asked, a bit concerned now.

@carsonlanier

‘i’m not jealous.’ carson shook his head with a little huff, lightly kicking flynn under the table before grinning innocently. ‘kings, you’re so daft sometimes. she blushed because you’re sexy as hell. and you gave her that charming smile, she went gaga as anyone sane would. ask her out, you big teddy bear.’

flynnigcn:

[ @darkshackolate ] 

“I always want to be sucked in the fun way. Do you guys not know me? I am insatiable.” He replied his laughter joining in with his friends. He raised his glass, taking a sip of his beer before making a face at Kingsley crinkling his nose up. “Call me Tiny and I’ll bite you.” He quipped, grinning as the waitress came to check on them. “Can my half-giant friends and I get some chips? I fear what happens when they drink on empty stomachs.” 

“Bite me in the fun way?” Kingsley laughed, taking a sip of his beer that left the pint half empty. Or half full, if you were a Hufflepuff. “Another round of beers, too,” he smiled at the waitress, “on me.” She blushed, for some reason, and scurried away. “…Do you think I scared her?”

@carsonlanier

flynnigcn:

Flynn just made a face as the two exchanged galleons crinkling his nose up at his friends. “You both suck and not in the fun way.” He quipped sarcastically. “Excuse you, not all of us can be half fucking giant you shite muppets. But the smaller I am the easier it is to punch you in your bloody bollocks. Not to mention I’m fuckin’ adorable.” He replied with a proud grin, knowing despite his small stature he swore enough for at least three men. He pretended not to notice as Kingsley referred to him and Carson as husbands, not certain what exactly the weird feeling in his gut was, but he passed it off as hunger. “Anyone want to get some chips? I’m fuckin’ starving.”

“How do you know we don’t suck in the fun way?” Kingsley laughed, causing a few heads to turn toward their table. His laugh was always a bit too booming, and drew more attention than he liked to draw to himself. Then again, he was a giant, and his best friends were total weirdos, so attention wasn’t something he could totally avoid. “Chips sound perfect. Go get some, Tiny.”

@carsonlanier

“Well, at least you’re pretty.” He teased. “You know I think hot sidekick has a better ring to it than hot partner.” Flynn mused as he made his way into his dorm, walking past the rows of beds until he reached his own. “Are you sure you want me near your dick with a sharp object? I mean just really think that over. Oh I’d know, I’ve woken up with your bloody morning wood pressing into my back before.” He popped open the trunk at the foot of his bed and started to dig through it, which didn’t take too long since he didn’t have many personal belongings or clothes to clutter things up.  After a moment he pulled out the nearly full bottle of fire whiskey and  made a triumphant nose. “Alright my blond sidekick, to the astronomy tower.” He declared, grabbing his satchel and shoving the bottle inside.

“You are so uneducated mate, how are you a Ravenclaw?” He jested lightly, figuring it was better to switch gears into a cleaner version of joking before his thoughts got out of hand. “You can’t be both, you get one or the other mate, and if you go for cute you’ll always be labeled ‘the seconded cutest’ behind my adorable ass, so chose wisely.” He played, stopping in front of his common room doors and saying the password before leading the other inside and up to his dorm. “God your mother would murder me if I let you drink yourself to death, seriously, and that woman angry scares me. Goldplated? How about I put a knut on top of it?  Maybe I can talk the medical examiner into giving you a Prince Albert, that’s a crown right?” 

“I think after eating blowjobs and sex require the same rule swimming does, wait twenty minutes so you don’t puke. Your loss mate, my deepthroating skills are impeccable.” He teased with a laugh, trying to ignore the mental image in his head of actually giving Carson a blowjob, and scolding himself for the fact it wasn’t exactly unappealing. “Oh no, I’m the cute one, you’re the hot one, sorry mate that’s just how it works. I’ll make sure they put on your tombstone ‘To stupid to stop drinking’.” 

“Can you imagine how badly that would end? Like what happens after I eat and I end up gagging while sucking them off? I mean I never gag, but what would happen? There’s a mental picture for you, still want that blowjob? I just had a full breakfast.” He replied with a wicked grin. “Because then I’d have competition and I’m very determined to have the best ass around, what’s the point in being a cute ass twink without a cute ass?” He joked. “Your life goal is going to make you die of alcohol poisoning mate.” 

“What kind of prostitute would that make me? Because I want to be a food prostitute. Buy me food in exchange for blowjobs, but it better be some damn good food, because my blowjobs are mind blowing.” He replied with a grin. “A plump ass is my ass, your’s is mediocre.” He teased. “Sounds accurate, I like to think I’m endearingly annoying.” Flynn hummed before groaning. “Loosen your grip you fiend, I am valuable goods. I can out drink you easily Carson, I’m Irish.” 

flynnigcn:

“A bet? I want interest on the winners earnings since it’s over me.” He replied making a face at the other two. “ I get cranky when I’m cold, so you had me at inside and beer.” Flynn hummed as Carson dragged them into The Three Broomsticks and he started towards his favourite booth in the back sliding in. “I swear to Merlin if they card me again-” He muttered.

Kingsley laughed as he was tugged through the doors into the warmth of the Three Broomsticks. It looked and smelled nothing like his house, but felt like home anyway. Must be a spell of some kind. He checked the clock behind the bar and cursed under his breath, handing five galleons to Carson. “You’ll have to take that up with your husband,” he smirked, sliding in next to him. “I’ll just say you’re with me. They’ve been serving me unquestioningly since fourth year.”

carson sputtered out laughter as he pocketed the galleons from kingsley with a grin and slid into their booth, relaxing against the very comforting interior. he caught the gaze of someone looking up to take their order and simply held up three fingers, knowing they’d know what he meant-- they really were here too often. ‘i’ve been getting served since i hit my growth spurt, how is the weather down there, tiny?’ he asked referring to flynn, very easily ignoring kingsley’s comment about the two of them being husbands with a glare. even if it would make sense to basically marry flynn at this point, they spent enough time together as it was. 

“I thought modern relationships is where you pay in exchange for a blowjob?” He teased, draining the last bit of coffee in his cup. “I dunno, why do you keep hanging out with me? I can’t be that bad. Fine, fine, I’ll spoon your boney ass.” He replied with a dramatic sigh, pushing himself to his feet. “C’mon, we need to go to my dorm if you want the fire whiskey.” He replied, nudging the others side before starting towards the Gryffindor commons. “Let’s get white girl wasted Carson, don’t worry if I drink you under the table again I won’t judge you. To harshly.” 

“It’s only a date if you’re paying.” He countered, before letting out a laugh. “I won’t murder you but your cuddling might murder me.  I’m five foot six, you are nine inches taller than me, so now you know how I feel ninety percent of the time.” He replied crinkling his nose up. “When I’m the big spoon I just get the mental picture of a chihuahua trying to spoon a great dane.” He teased. “This sobriety has been truly agonizing, I believe some day drinking and bad choices are in order.” 

“Your observation skills are phenomenal, remind me to take you to the zoo.” He teased sarcastically in return. “I only kick when you’re strangling me in your vice grip, and drowning me in obnoxious body heat. Kings also takes up ninety percent of the bed, he’s like eight feet tall and four feet wide. I’m tiny and adorable.” He replied with a wicked grin. “Is that even a question? I always have booze, I have an almost full bottle of fire whiskey.”