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$LAYYYTER
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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shark vs the universe

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@carseycritter

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Why is public sex so hot đŤđŤ
Climate change.
If I ever ran a coffee shop or any other such establishment, I'd have a system of employee discount privileges for rewards for good work and special occasions, including getting one for their birthday each year. Not a discount on the product, they get that one anyway, but having one workday where they're granted the power to arbitrarily give any customer a 20% discount with no limit. They can cash it in at any point, not required to work on your birthday in order to get it. It is entirely allowed to decide to use your Discount Privileges three months after your birthday because you woke up in a bad mood and decide to use it for evil. I don't know how you would, but it's allowed anyway.
Once you've announced you're using your discount privileges today, it's out of my hands. You can decide you're giving a discount to all your friends. Give it to everyone who has a cool haircut or nice tattoo. Anyone who looks like they're having a bad day. Rude customer? Nothing prevents you from going "ok everyone here gets a discount except this guy in particular." Fuck that guy.
Reblog and put in the tags what music/videos/ambient sounds you put on when you want something to fall asleep to

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I literally said, "Are you kidding me?" IN THE GASPED ADMIRING WAY.
life is honestly too short to be embarrassed over anything that sparks even a little happiness in you
yo i made rhis into a sweater

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every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing
i canât stop thinking about the time my roommate and i asked our insanely ripped neighbor brian who wore flip flops year round and sunglasses on the back of his head for help with carrying a solid wood dresser up to our apartment. he wanted to get his son who was home from college to come help too so he takes out his phone and goes, âsiri, call christian christiansonâ and turns speaker phone on while we stand there sort of stunned by the name and after a few rings cc answers, âwhat the hell do you wantâ and brian just hangs up without responding and is all, âkids, am i rightâ then carries the dresser up four flights of stairs pretty much by himself. we offered him a six pack of rainier as thanks which he immediately opened in our kitchen and downed 2/6 beers in 10 mins while telling us about his 1989 dodge ram 1500 he was trying to get his son to restore with him to no avail. really nice guy. we never saw his son before he went back to school but any time i ask my roommate for help with lifting stuff or reaching something he says, âsiri, call christian christiansonâ and we reminisce about brian and his truck.
Youâd think that once you finally get long term access to a cat and your yearning to have cat access is fulfilled that youâd become slightly less obsessed with seeing peopleâs cats but no if anything it gets worse
The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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complimented a cashier on her turtle pin this morning and she said "oh thanks, I am a little bit of a Turtle Person" with the carefully contained energy of Cookie Monster telling you he's mildly fond of chocolate chips
I hope she and the multiple tons of turtle merch she definitely has at home are having a wonderful day
i love this metaphor so much i drew it
Reblog this to tell prev that they're doing a good job and you're proud of them! đ