CarryOn

Loving you feels soft, like something I never want to lose.

And maybe that’s where the fear comes from, not from doubt, not from anything you’ve done, but from how much you mean to me.

You’ve become a part of my days, my thoughts, my quiet moments.

And sometimes I wonder how something so beautiful can make my heart feel so careful.

I just don’t want to lose what we have.

New chapter

Another one closed

Again because of someone who broke me

Again a broken heart

But not for long

He opened my eyes

I don't need anyone to make me feel good about myself

The silence feels healing, even in my mind

I've had time to think

And I've come to realize

That I shouldn't look behind me

But instead ahead of me

The past is the past

The future lies open

Filled with new chances, choices and chapters

Along with obstacles

But eventually, those too become part of the past

The future has something in store for everyone

Don't let the past hold us back

And keep going

Because beautiful things are waiting for you

Live today and look forward to a new adventure

Look toward a new chapter

That you make love in the world happen

That you sprout hate on it too

That theres tender moments shared

And to be shared

And none of them are out of view

That there’s value on waking up

On waking time

On walking time and time again

That despite shit and how it is

Theres still someone out there

That cares

Be it me, be it thy neighbor

Be it a politic or nature

That smiles to you with sunny teeth

And greet you goodbye on its silver disk

That, though everything seems heavy,

So long as you live,

The time itself keeps a diary

Where the lines are crooked, and the sentence spree

Doesn’t stop or end, though misery

Rips pages off, admittedly

As time re-reads and doesn’t like remembering

That’s why it stutters the same words

In panic, in its room, walks back and forth

Looking for oblivion little by little

Now, time isn’t very smart, no no

The lows of then will come back to bite it

Forgetting is but opioid, and time’s an addict

A frantic disillusionary, a youngling still in diapers

Though until its own ideas ripen,

I fear,

It will throw away the diary

My hands have grown tired

And my fingers ache to the bone

Arms shaking and shivering from the endless weight I carry

Displacing my own

Yet the horrors never cease

The weight only multiplies

And now I'm lost in a sea of memories that are not my own

The pain is no longer separate

And I no longer know what it means to heal

Wounds become infected

But with my soft touch now hardened

I rip two stitches for every one I sew

I see through the eyes of every life I've touched

And I no longer recognize my own

Apathy drowns the spark once ignited

That thawed the hearts of those who sought my comfort

Frozen by the isolation they held before me

But my presence has grown stale

And the silence now sour

The healing hand now does all the damage she's undone

No tears are shed from the eyes that lost their purpose

And I don’t care anymore.

From the book, Foundations.

Goodbye Supernatural!!

I just deleted all 13 seasons of the Supernatural Series and my favourite Fanfiction.

It helped me through difficult times in my life and taught me lessons I needed to learn but its time to move on.

As inticing and attractive it is - it did not benefit my mental health in the long run. Even if it helped me fight through the down moment- it is altogether evil and depressing. I am no longer able to watch the series because it is all too real and blasphemous. The Lord has begun a new chapter in my life!!

Yes it seems like a good series when you love it and watch it and it is good...I do agree!! But there come a time for seemingly good things to end.